Monday 16 April 2012

Round 7 - 100 Years of Hate

Yesterday marked 100 years since the sinking of the much-vaunted passenger liner the RMS Titanic on its maiden voyage.

Few events in recent centuries resonate with people today as much as the Titanic’s sinking does. Its place in popular culture, in metaphor (perhaps only exceeded by anything ending in ‘Gate’ in terms of over and misuse in this area) and in general knowledge is almost unparalleled. A recent survey revealed that only Elvis, Hitler and LOL@50uff$ were more widely known 20th century phenomena.

However, any good feeling that was held towards the Titanic was obliterated upon the release of James Cameron’s three-hour-long extended-middle-finger to the general popularity of motion pictures. When this was combined with James Horner’s abomination of a soundtrack, you pretty much had the worst ever movie and song ever made. If both men approached the metaphorical blank canvas several hours after eating a particularly spicy curry, pulled down their pants and let fly, the outcome wouldn’t have been as bad. Certainly it would have been less time-consuming for footy-loving men dragged along to this movie or forced to endure a social occasion with the soundtrack as background music.

Supporters of Rugby League have their favourite players and teams, but they also have players, coaches, media personalities, administrators who they love to hate as much, if not more so, than anything in a DVD or CD with the word Titanic on it. To be honest, the hate probably sells more tickets, papers, pay television subscriptions and beers in a pub on a Friday night than the support.

As a tribute to one hundred years (plus seven) of hate in Rugby League (and fifteen years for the awful film), this week’s Roast has a look back at Round 7 and those in the game hated by so many.

St George Illawarra v. Newcastle

While Newcastle has had their moments this season and will likely develop into a team which can contend for the 2012 premiership, they were lucky to stay close to the Dragons for the second time this season. Unfortunately for anyone looking for any excitement, the Dragons’ excellent defence and inability to do much more with the ball than move it beyond half way and then kick it to Brighton Le Sands after getting an eight-point lead meant this game was rather boring.

“I’m the King of the World!” – Darius Boyd would probably earn the most hated selection of many from this game. Despite being part of some very good teams during his time in the NRL and in representative rugby league, his standoffish, anti-social attitude and complete lack of loyalty to anyone apart from his grandmother, Uncle Wayne and the green (not in that order) are major turnoffs for most rugby league supporters.

Newcastle’s Chris Houston would be close behind Boyd. On the field, Houston is an excellent player, capable of big hits, speed and power in defence and playing in multiple positions and for 80 minutes. But really, he is very lucky not to be representing the Long Bay XIII in the back-row with fellow drug-dealer Danny Wicks.

Brisbane v. Canberra

Canberra’s elusive search for consistency will continue for at least one more week after Brisbane – minus Peter Wallace and Ben “Shoulders” Te’o – easily defeated them in Friday’s other game. A highlight was Joel Thompson's swinging arm which missed its target and instead hit a teammate. Thompson was still put on report.

“My Hearrrrrt Willll Go Onnnnnnnnnnnnnnn” – It is tempting to nominate the entire Brisbane club (for benefiting so much more than other teams with the scheduling of matches) and possibly the entire Canberra player roster (for being coached by someone with the least talent but most job security in the game), but it’s even easier to just say Justin Hodges. Hodges is highly talented and remains one of the game’s best over a decade after making his debut but has led a charmed life, always finding himself on loaded teams and has rarely ever had to worry about his big mouth and bad attitude getting him into trouble on the field (since he starts conflicts then lets others fight for him). Honourable mention goes to Sam Thaiday for his consistent niggling tactics (not to mention his role in late 2008 in letting rugby league supporters know how large the toilets in Brisbane are).

Melbourne v. Canterbury

This was another tight, low-scoring game but not quite as tough to watch as the Dragons – Newcastle game. It wasn’t far off though; the Bulldogs were a committed and intense group in this game, but with Kris Keating at halfback, it was almost as if they were playing with one arm tied behind their back.

Still, Melbourne had to work harder than usual for this win and was somewhat fortunate not to be tied with the Bulldogs inside the last 20 minutes but for the unfortunate placement of the goal post pad stopping Josh Reynolds from scoring.

“I’m the King of the World!” – Canterbury coach Des Hasler has built his team in a similar way to the 2005 Manly team. He knows they are little chance competing with most teams in terms of skill and talent but hopes to win enough games by his players working harder and being more intense than their opponents. In the case of Josh Reynolds and Corey Payne, Hasler hopes to niggle and annoy opponents into worrying about Reynolds/Payne and not their game.

Reynolds has somehow made it to first grade with negligible talent hence his game basically revolves around being a pest. This backfired somewhat on Saturday when Reynolds snapped at similarly competitive Michael Ennis after a bad pass, but Reynolds also annoyed Billy Slater; anything that can be done to possibly take the brilliant Slater out of his game is a success. Payne is a weird player who combines intelligence and deft skills with an irrational tendency for conflict and starting fights in bizarre situations. Look for more of the same from Reynolds and Payne in 2012 until Hasler and the Bulldogs buy much better players.

(Of course, most people hate the Storm but that is a bit dated now, with the possible exception of Sika Manu and his ‘rolling pins’ and other tackles which push the boundaries of the rules. Melbourne coach Craig Bellamy would hope for Manu to tone down his act as the Storm search for their first premiership since 1999).

Manly v. Gold Coast

The under-strength Sea Eagles faced another challenge on Saturday night. They had to back up just five days after a strong win over Penrith and do the same again with no players coming off their lengthy injured list and against a struggling but very physical opponent looking to break a long losing streak.

The challenge proved too much; the Gold Coast Titans remarkably recorded their second win at Brookvale in three seasons.

“My Hearrrrrt Willll Go Onnnnnnnnnnnnnnn” – despite mellowing somewhat as he approaches (rugby league) old age, Steve Matai remains deeply unpopular with opposition supporters for his volatility and random bursts of aggression, but also that he plays for Manly (a fact that really shouldn’t contribute anymore since Manly are not rich, do not cheat and rarely receive anything that resembles favouritism from officialdom).

However, the other reason for Matai’s unpopularity was seen late on when howls of laughter were heard across the country after a gust of wind next to Nate Myles’ shoulder gently brushed Matai’s head. This zephyr supposedly inflamed Matai’s ‘ongoing’ ‘neck and shoulder’ ‘injury’. The far more likely scenario is that Matai thought he could play hurt and receive a penalty after the incident in question and had to continue to look injured until a decision was made. Clearly, though, Matai has cried wolf far too often; by this time, punters’ laughter became tears of hilarity as Matai’s play-acting went on almost as long as the Titanic.

Sydney Roosters v. North Queensland

The Cowbores’ pattern on loss-win-loss-win continued on Saturday night, although they would have been doing cartwheels when they heard the Roosters wanted to play them in hot and humid Darwin (instead of in Sydney). This made their task much easier (although everyone suffered in the conditions) and this game was over by half time.

“I’m the King of the World!” – This game featured long-time favourite hated player of the Tuesday Roast Johnathan “Feral” Thurston; so any discussion of hate must start with this vile human being. From his role at Coffs Harbour to his petulant and offensive (to all five senses) outbursts when things don’t go his way to his truly bizarre pre-goal kick rituals involving his headgear and facial tick, Feral Thurston, despite his obvious talents, remains a target of hate and will do so as long as he runs on to a field.

But the Roosters are usually well-represented in this department. The latest players here include Jared Waerea-Hargreaves-Enforcer (he might as well have a third name thanks to lazy media reporting but surely the likes of Peter Kelly, Paul Harragon and Shane Webcke would be having a laugh at how far the entry standards have dropped in this club) and Mitchell Pearce (not so much for any qualities of his, but more so that he seems to be a favourite of the media and representative selectors despite having about 3 good games since 2008).

New Zealand v. South Sydney

This was a high-scoring game, a feast of attacking rugby league. The Warriors don’t often lose these games although, for the most part, Souths played quite well, staying in the contest until the final 10 minutes. Warriors’ five-eighth James Maloney had an excellent game, setting up a number of tries and giving NSW State of Origin selectors much to consider (like a zillion other players apparently).

“My Hearrrrrt Willll Go Onnnnnnnnnnnnnnn” – Issac Luke is the easy answer here. Luke’s penchant for grubby, niggling play (including ‘cannonball’ tackles) and notoriety for exaggerating the tiniest amount of illegal contact make him one of the least popular players in the NRL.

Cronulla v. Parramatta

Some teams, no matter how poorly they are playing, always seem to play well against certain teams or at certain grounds. Parramatta almost always produces a strong performance at Toyota Stadium and did so again yesterday. Meanwhile Cronulla again played well; this was one of the more entertaining games of the season so far.

Parramatta’s forwards lifted to match Cronulla’s pack, while Jarryd Hayne had a hand in their three tries, scoring two and setting up another with an incredible flick pass. However, Cronulla held on for the win, thanks to some desperate defence and Parramatta giving away too many penalties and squandering numerous attacking chances in the second half.

“I’m the King of the World!” – If it was up to Nathan Hindmarsh, his answer would surely be Jeremy Smith, who enraged the Eels legend with a series of knees aimed his head in a tackle in the second yesterday. Hindmarsh’s response to the referee – “If he’s f**kin gonna knee me in the head again like that and f**kin carry on like a f**k-wit…..” – was both shocking and memorable (and joins the Parra players’ outbursts Hall of Fame with Tahu “The dog bit me!” and Riddell “See ya Fat Boy!!!!!” both from 2007).

However reports in yesterday’s papers suggest Smith is guilty of tactics no doubt learned at the Melbourne Storm in test match tackles against the Aussies in recent years (so much so the Aussie players refer to him as “The Grub”). Smith must be thankful for having Melbourne Storm players then Paul Gallen as team-mates over so many years (so his quiet personality means he avoids much scrutiny for these much-hated acts).

Penrith v. Wests Tigers

These teams have delivered some memorable games over the years, but yesterday’s game will not join them. Penrith doesn’t have much talent anyway but to lose their creative dummy half and speedy centre before the game meant they were always going to struggle. Wests scored early and jumped to a 12-nil lead and did little more than what they had to over the remainder of the game for an easy win.

“My Hearrrrrt Willll Go Onnnnnnnnnnnnnnn” – Benji Marshall and Robbie Farah attract more than their share of hate from opposition supporters and rightly so too. Marshall, once a prodigy, remains a highly inconsistent player not yet capable of deciding when to go for the big play and when to play conservatively. But he is the ultimate media hero, especially of Channel 9, who worships the ground he walks on. To rub salt into the wound for supporters, his “exclusive” story on Channel 9 news was nothing more than a shameless plug for his girlfriend’s TV show. Meanwhile, the thin-skinned, dour Farah has long since shed the happy-go-lucky personality of his first few seasons in the league. In its place is a surly figure that rarely smiles and is often angry (under the guise of being ‘motivated’).

But most supporters have increased their hate levels for Channel 9 this season due to the significant fall in quality of their Sunday rugby league shows and the replacement of the popular Andrew Voss with the right-wing shock-jock Ray Hadley. In addition, yesterday it was revealed that Channel 9’s recent announcement that they will now be showing games live in non Rugby League states on their GEM channel is in fact only a temporary measure; this will end on April 30th. It could have been secured for much longer, but the petty, bitter Channel 9 executives will not extend this initiative if they have not secured broadcast rights for 2013 and beyond. Channel 9 deserves Titanic-like hate for this pathetic ploy from rugby league supporters everywhere.

See you in two weeks.

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