Round 3: St Patrick (O’Hanlon)’s Day

While young Eel Pat O’Hanlon has the best Irish name in the game at present, he is far from the only player representing this under-acknowledged segment of the NRL community. Others of Irish descent include Luke Walsh, Anthony Quinn, Kieran Foran, Todd Carney, Mick Ennis, Shaun Berrigan, Mitchell Pearce, Greg Bird, Sam Burgess, Anthony Griffin, Matt Keating, The Morris twins, Ben Ross, umm… Michael Jennings, (clears throat) Stephen Kearney…….

As with much else in the NRL, even the influence of Ireland is being taken over by the influence of (Pacific) islanders. Anyway, here’s this week’s Roast with a distinct Irish flavour.

St George Illawarra v. Wests Tigers

There was once a young man named Timmy
Who changed teams then did a reneg-y
He was wanted by Saints
But a good player he ain’t
Saints thrashed the Tiges for a big victory

The appearance of Tim Moltzen in an opposition jumper was one factor which was always going to mean a fired-up St George Illawarra team in this game.

However the major motivator, as it so often is early in the season, was the bounce-back factor and the Dragons’ horrid performance last week against the Bulldogs.

The Dragons started strongly and never looked in trouble. In contrast, the Tigers struggled without key forwards Ellis and Galloway and a tough first two rounds made it difficult for them to be anywhere near their best.

Newcastle v. Brisbane

There was once a coach named Wayne
He was the best coach in the game
But his Knights are like strangers
They look to be in danger
Of having many points to regain

While the Knights were coming off a win in Round 2, one expected something of a ‘bounce-back’ from them; in the form of a much better and much more cohesive effort after their embarrassing first-up home match in Round 1.

Unfortunately for the locals, the home team still appears some time away from a decent performance. Brisbane was solid, although not spectacular, but they didn’t fail to take easy opportunities, as Newcastle’s opposition did in Round 2. While the Knights stayed close for a while, it was an easy win for the Broncos in the end.

Gold Coast v. Melbourne

There was once a team on the Coast
They started out better than most
Then the GFC hit
Making their investments sh-t
That and dumb signings mean they are toast

Another wet early evening against a big pack; Melbourne saw this in Round 1 and didn't really like it. While an early try eased their nerves, the Titans had the better of the first half.

Melbourne got going in the second half, but were given a substantial leg-up by the officials. In the lead-up to tries by Duffie and Slater (his first), Melbourne kicked ahead and pressuring chasers were clearly in front of the kicker. This was not identified by the officials or, shamefully, commentators paid to identify such transgressions. The Titans did well against 13 opponents, but not so well against 17.

But speaking of Slater, he set up the try for Duffie then scored two of his own. His second try sent the ignorant, cheerleading commentators into waves of ecstasy, but they should have saved this for the Sheltered Workshop MVP Anthony Quinn's incredible (for him) chip-ahead and try late on. Slater’s second try saw him become the greatest try-scorer for a fullback in the history of top-level rugby league in Australia, but this was somewhat diminished when an inspection of the statistics revealed Rhys Wesser was the previous holder of the record. When questioned yesterday, Wesser thought he only held records for the worst pass ever attempted by a fullback as well as the worst goal-kicks attempted (vs. Canberra in 2005 when he inexplicably took four pathetic shots at goal before being relieved by Trent Waterhouse).

Meanwhile, the crowd at this game was solid but no doubt boosted by an offer of free tickets if the home side lost. Someone didn’t think that through – unless the free tickets are for the local A-League side. As each day brings worse news about the state of the Titans’ finances and investments (both property and players i.e. five years for run-of-the-mill Will Zillman), fears grow that yet another team will fail in this region.

North Queensland v. Parramatta

There was once a coach named Kearney
Whose apprenticeship had plenty of learn-y
But it was the wrong approach
‘Cause he clearly can’t coach
Time to give someone else a turn-y

It rained in north Queensland too but this result was never in doubt. The Cowbores simply had far too much for the Eels, for whom the return on a wooden spoon investment is diminishing each day.

New Zealand v. Canterbury

Young Benny’s been an incredible find
Catching him is like tackling fire
His team stood tall
Thanks to several lucky calls
The video ref must be blind!

On to Sunday’s games and an amazing contest from Auckland. The Warriors were hardly in the contest for the first 20 minutes and the Bulldogs threatened to run away from them.

Then, as the possession started to turn and Feleti Mateo entered the game, the Warriors sprang to life. James Maloney and his family may be homesick now, but surely he’ll be homesick for Mateo putting him through holes when he plays with the Roosters next season.

The Warriors took a two-point lead but lost the game on a few key plays. First up was the Warriors’ soft defence allowing Kasiano an easy try then failing to cash in on a lot of attacking field position.

But the huge plays came from Ben Barba, who was judged to have stopped what looked to be a certain Kevin Locke try, then a few minutes later, set up the match-sealing try with an incredible defence-into-attack run from deep within Canterbury territory.

With that said, the video referee from this game should be dropped to….what does a video referee get relegated to oversee? PlayStation?? Bill Harrigan memorably got the week off video refereeing in 2010 to play in his Over 35’s soccer grand final. Anyway, the video referee took ONE look at Steve Turner’s basketball dribble attempt at scoring a try. While most others saw a bounce, he gave an immediate try.

He then rejected the late Locke try attempt, judging that no skerrick of the ball touched the grass (this seemed unlikely). However, if he was told that the on-field referee thought it was not a try, then it was a fair decision. Basically, the on-field referee should make clear what he thinks happened before going to the video.

While the right team won this exciting if somewhat inconsistently played game, these poor decisions left a bad taste in the mouth.

Sydney Roosters v. Canberra

Yesterday’s game at Allianz Stadium
Was so poor it inspired tedium
But amidst the fans’ cackles
There was some amazing tackles
An ok game, despite skills at a premium

In contrast, this game was error-riddled and (sadly for Canberra) injury-hit. Canberra hung around and nearly snatched the win late on but the aggressive if error-prone Roosters did just enough.

Some random points: can anyone explain why there were so many Canberra supporters at this game? It has been a lean last 20 years for Canberra, I guess one decent win is now enough to get the fair-weather Sydney Raiders supporters to come out. Also, the Roosters, with this win, continued their undefeated home record (as far as can be discovered anyway) when Sexpo is on in Sydney.

Penrith v. Souths

Young Greg was so frustrated
So talented yet so isolated
He never saw any ball
Finally Souths made the call
His involvement and output sharply appreciated

Under Phil Gould’s leadership, Penrith had a big day planned around this game; their efforts in re-connecting with the local community are to be applauded.

Unfortunately, the day on the field could hardly have gone worse. Souths scored after about 25 seconds and raced to a big lead thanks to brilliance from the likes of King, Luke and Taylor as well as adequacy from Sutton. Finally, Greg Inglis, returning to fullback, left tyre marks on poor Lachlan Coote’s chest early in the second half.

Somehow Penrith kept the final margin to 16 points but they were well beaten. Will this one of the half dozen or so games each season when Souths can thrash anyone or will they FINALLY deliver their potential and play like this more regularly?

Cronulla v. Manly

There was once a team called the Sharks
To watch them, you usually needed Arks
But rain is their friend
They’re bigger than Ben
That said, their win relied on much ar$e

Poor weather meant a smallish crowd at this game last night, but surely Cronulla’s coaches and players would have been popping the champagne corks in advance.

In wet conditions, Cronulla’s monster pack is almost unbeatable, while wet conditions reveal how far Manly usually plays above their weight. For their intensity and aggression, Manly is not a big team and they compounded their size disadvantage by giving away too much field position (through errors, penalties and a poor kicking game), especially during the first half.

But while Manly took a good hour to adjust to the game, pretty much everything came off for Cronulla. When Ben Pomeroy is producing offloads – heck, when Ben Pomeroy catches the ball with his stubs/flippers – you know it’s a good night. When Jeff Robson’s kicking game reminds you of Andrew Johns with a gale at his back (How on earth did he not get Dally M points by the way? Of course… Laurie Daley was in charge of the votes), you know it’s a good night. When the video referee mistakes a Paul Gallen lost ball for one of his normal offloads, you know it’s a good night. Finally, when Todd Carney hits a 40-metre field goal and knocks in a conversion off the upright (while Jamie Lyon’s poster bounced out), you know it’s a good night.

By the time Manly got back into the contest, there was under 20 minutes left, yet Manly eventually cut Cronulla’s lead to just 3. However, anything more was too much to ask and Cronulla held on for the win.

See you next week.

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