Round 6 - A Gathering of the Minds Part II: The Best Revenge Is Taking It One Game at a Time

Welcome to the Tuesday Roast for Round 6 of the NRL season. Despite such promise, the Gathering of the Minds following Round 3 descended into farce: a mix of bias, cliché, incoherence and bad jokes. And that was just from Mark Geyer.

So, the Minds have been invited back for another chance, but with one condition: it was to be an entirely new group of Minds breaking down the weekend’s events. The new crew are fired up to make amends and seek revenge on behalf of their brethren, so without further ado, let’s go to Peter Sterling in the Tuesday Roast offices.

Peter Sterling: Thank you and welcome to this week’s Tuesday Roast. Just wanted to say how highly I rate this work; it’s an essential part of my post-mortem on each round’s action…although you’re not running a little short of ideas are you? Nah, just kidding, love your work each week.

Anyway, on to the Round 6 action and after the rather unpredictable start to the season, things seem to have settled down somewhat and the natural order of the game looks to have just about been restored. One factor here is the jockeying for position with regards to rep team selection, but the impacts of each team gaining invaluable match fitness and some cooler weather are also important in some more predictable results taking place.

One of those teams which threatened to turn prognosticators’ pre-season predictions on their heads was Penrith, who hosted the somewhat-struggling Brisbane on Friday night. Greg “Brandy” Alexander, you were at this game, give us your thoughts.

Greg Alexander: Well Sterlo, many people gave Penrith a chance in this game after their quite impressive last month, but I was never too sure. Big Petero always plays well, but after that, you never quite know what you’re going to get. Any number of guys could have big games but it’s not usually the same from one week to the next.

So I was not really surprised when we went behind 24-6 in the first half. We were a touch unlucky at times (especially Brisbane’s first try – the burden of proof on the attacking team gets slimmer every year) but really, Brisbane is a polished unit. Their recruitment has been excellent (sob…but at least they took that loser Clinton off our hands) and their player development continues to be amongst the upper echelon in the game.

But we often seem to produce our best when our backs are against the wall and so it was in this game. Petero and Mick Jennings helped cut Brisbane’s lead to 6, but I still thought we couldn’t rely totally on Petero and our speed, we needed some halfback guidance. Brisbane ended up running away with it, even though we gave them a bit of a shock, I reckon they knew what they were doing all along.

In other words, I tried putting the moz on whoever Penrith’s opponents as I always do, but it didn’t work this time.

PS: Tough luck for the Panthers, but a word of advice Brandy: if you can ensure an ex-player can take over in charge of your club, stay there for about 30 years and annoy virtually everyone, then you won’t have to worry about any lingering feelings towards your old club. I know I don’t.

Anyway, the other Friday night game saw the high-flying Titans host the improving Canberra Raiders. Ben Ikin was there.

Ben Ikin: Thanks Sterlo, well it was a close call but the Titans got the win here with a last-minute try by Matty Rogers. It was set up by that legend of the game Scotty Prince from Mt Isa, who faked the field-goal attempt and perfectly set up Rogers.

But they weren’t the only stars for the Gold Coast. Chris Walker starred again on the wing, while Nathan Friend again made the Titans look like gooses for looking for another dummy half for so long. Ash Harrison, the former Bronco, was solid, while new Titan Will Zillman, back in SEQ after a few years somewhere else was one of the try-scorers and also pretty solid.

For Canberra, ummm Learoyd-Lahrs….no wait, he just played for Brisbane, he’s not actually a Queenslander…Logan? Ok, yep well he went great, the Brisbane product! How could I forget Shillington, the man mountain and 18th man from last year’s Queensland team!! That’s about all I think.

PS: Cheers Ben, cheque’s in the mail.

BI: The postcode better start with a 4 then! Queenslander!!!

PS: Um sure. But there’s hope for you yet: if your father-in-law can get out of Brisbane, then anything’s possible. Speaking of St. Benny, his St. George Illawarra Dragons hosted the improving Newcastle on Saturday night…..

Wendell: …and I put one-two tries on yo’ a$$!

MacDougall: But I got the win! Hello McFly! *Types numbers into phone and throws it away*

Wendell: Hahaha you goose! Get back to me when you beat me when I’m not injured!

MacDougall: Not sure I’m gonna play til I’m 100. Hey Thighs, how good was Uncle Doogs hey? Yeh you know it….

PS: …and we’ll leave it there and throw to our correspondent from this game, ABC’s David Morrow.

David Morrow: Thank you Peter, as the head of ABC Radio Sport, I am assigned to all the big games and by sheer coincidence, every big game contains St George. I mean, what are the odds of that?!

Anyway, the Dragons got off to a great start and looked to dominate as they have thus far this season and got off to an early lead, but the signs started mounting from midway through the first half that this is the still same old Dragons team and OH NO! What a terrible mistake by Ryles! Sorry, old habits die hard, but the Dragons took a solid lead to half time, but it all unravelled from there. STANLEY – what a dumb play! Dan Hunt with another poor mistake…wait, they are still here. Hmm…probably why the Dragons lost.

But it would be unfair not to recognise Newcastle’s great play. De Gois, Mullen and even Rogers again. Geez, he played two good games here and he’s played 3 good games already for Newcastle! Calm down, David, have faith in St. Benny….is this thing still on?! Back to you Sterlo.

PS: Straight from the Ray Warren school of objectivity there. Next up on Saturday night was Souths v Manly and Mario Fenech was at the game.

Mario Fenech: Thanks Sterlo, well….

PS: Mario Fenech with that report.

MF: Oh cmon guys!

PS: Ok, ok, have another crack Mario.

MF: Ok, well Souths found it backing up from and especially after they try chances. Manly was still and Stewart capitalised struggling pretty much from .

PS: Problem with your mic there Mario? *giggles*

MF: That’s it, I’ve had it , you can all go and get !

Benny Elias: Sorry Mario mate, missed that last thing you said.

PS: Now, now Benny, wait your turn, we like pretend conflict not actual stuff! Anyway, what Mario was trying to say was that Souths really struggled, not just coming off the short week, but, like every team in the NRL does, playing at a consistent level for more than a few weeks with a few injuries. Manly was good but….not that great, but they didn’t need to be.

Onto Sunday’s action and firstly from Auckland, where New Zealand hosted the Roosters, it’s New Zealand’s “favourite son” Gary Freeman.

Gary Freeman: Cheers Sterlo and it was a great game over here today. With Steve Price, Vatuvei and late addition Lance Hohaia back, the Warriors looked like good things to return to the winners list, but after a tight start, the Chooks dominated the first half.

You thought they had the game locked up but my man Stacey Jones got the Warriors back in it with a runaround try then his kicking game set up two more tries. The Roosters had every right though to be FILTHY at the final result, some dodgy penalties for the Warriors and the try to Vatuvei…no way that was a try.

Anyway, Kemp’s penalty took it to extra time and that man Jones sealed the win. Choice bro!

PS: Choice indeed. Not bad for you Wizard, so it’s not true that when you go back to New Zealand from Oz every summer that you raise the IQ of both countries?

GF: Nah, it’s more humid over here actually.

PS: Thought so. Anyway, Cronulla and the Cowboys. From Adelaide. What. A. Contest. Somehow they found eight and a half thousand people to attend this game, but I tell you what: given the rank form of these two teams, it wasn’t such a bad game. Cronulla again looked pretty good for a while but just couldn’t put enough points on. Story of their season so far. Once the Cowboys got a few tries, their confidence finally kicked into gear: it only took 5 games and 70 minutes. Still a looooong way to go for these two sides.

The final Sunday game saw Parramatta “host” the Bulldogs. Yep, this was at the Bulldogs’ home ground. Another great move there, Fitzy. Anyway, Steve Mortimer saw this one, Turvey, what did you think?

Steve Mortimer: Well as proud as I am to have my nephew almost at first grade for Parramatta, and even though the Dogs punted me from the club a few years back, I still love the Dogs and was so happy for them in this game. Parramatta had 3 days extra rest and threatened to really trouble the Dogs at various stages but the Dogs found some more energy and scored enough points to break the fragile Eels (although I don’t quite know how something without bones can be fragile hehehe). Anyway, the likes of Kimmorley, Patten, Ennis and Hannant were stars for the Bulldogs, but I do feel sorry for Parramatta, the likes of Cayless, Burt and Geoff Robinson the half back.

PS: Robson, his name is Robson. Geoff Robinson was the maniac who was your team-mate remember?

SM: Oh sorry about that, guess I got a bit confused hey? He he he.

PS: Thanks Turvey, look, mate you’re a nice guy but geez you laugh at the weirdest moments.

SM: Yeh, me and Ian Chappell, we’ll go for a beer and a laugh and reminisce about good old days and great old jokes.

PS: Why am I not surprised? Anyway the final game of the round saw Melbourne head to Leichhardt to take on the Wests Tigers. It looked to be an intriguing clash: a potentially very good attack against a potentially very good defence. Or, to put it less politely, an inconsistent rabble who put in effort and play to their potential about once a month against a shell of a great team who might as well be put out and shot but can snag a win every now and then.

Anyway, what better person to cover perhaps the worst NRL game in five years than the person with the worst command of the English language: take it away Benny! Thanks for reading, regular Tuesday Roast service will resume next week.

BE: Thanks Sterlo and may I say what a marvellous job the audio guys with Mario the Moron’s microphone! Anyway, tonight at Leichhardt…what a marvellous arena it is. It truly is the field of dreams, although they already did build it a while back so not really, but every time I go there you know the memories they come flooding back like the back of my hand and I know every blade of grass like an old pair of slippers and the Tigers looked pretty comfortable tonight disposing of the Storm. Actually, they were pretty poor really but you know what I mean.

It was a pretty soft try first up for Melbourne when Inglis stepped around Collis and set up Hoffman but the Tigers came right back when Farah set up Moltzen. The Tigers ran like the wind at their backs, not like the Storm that was looming against the Storm and Laurie Lawrence (minus the Laurie…I don’t know why he’s not playing) strolled over past the Storm’s suspect left-side defence and we led by 4.

I guess the wind out of their bum distracted them from the wind at their backs or maybe the wind off out of their hot air mouths got in the way, whatever it was, the Tigers just didn’t take advantage of the wind. I didn’t think 4 points would be enough with the likes of English, the Cronk Brothers and Michael Slater up amongst us with the wind in a minus direction, but it turned around a bit. The game and the wind I mean, but the Storm came and went. The team I mean oh and the actual weather thing.

Seriously though mate, the Storm played pretty dumb. The older of the Cronk brothers, Cooper, is usually a pretty good organiser but today he couldn’t organise a p1ssup or a bum-kicking contest in a brothel! Dead set! I reckon they were a bit unlucky when they had a try stopped for a forward pass but I guess the wind took it although not the wind at their back if you know what I mean.

But the Tigers should have done way more too. Josh Morris, I can’t believe Sheensy still picks him in the halves, dead set, he butchered a try when Anthony Quinn the actor intercepted it, but Quinn couldn’t find Jon English for the runaway try with the wind.

Finally, the Tigers wrapped up the seal and the win when a nice scrum play sent Laurie Lawrence away for a try. Not sure if they would have beaten anyone else but you know you can only have to beat the teams one at a time so I was pretty happy! Thanks Les see you next week on World Sports.