Round 19: Origin 3: The Fallout

A fairly crazy Round 19 of NRL action had its genesis — in two ways — in last Wednesday’s night epic State of Origin.

Every State of Origin match is played at a speed and intensity several levels above a typical NRL match. Despite this, most Origin players are typically able to back up for their NRL teams on the following weekend, with many of these players able to play starring roles despite heavy legs, bumps, bruises and sometimes even injuries picked up from the previous Wednesday night.

However, last Wednesday’s State of Origin match was such a battle with such physical and mental consequences that most players were either unable to back up for their NRL club (due to injury, possessing the will but not the ability to fight or just general soreness) or posted a far from spectacular performance. This was even seen with those who have an excellent reputation of backing up for their NRL club after Origin.

In addition to the effect of last Wednesday night on the individual Origin player, it also hit those teams with more Origin players quite hard. The State of Origin series and — to, a lesser extent, Test Matches — has become quite the vital cog in the NRL’s parity strategy — albeit with a lag. As a team makes the move from cellar-dweller to contender, this usually leads to players from that team moving into representative teams. However, a preference from representative selectors for those players who have ‘done it before’ can mean that some teams enter their decline whilst possessing a greater-than-average percentage of representative players (and some teams can make their ascent up the NRL ladder without much of a representative cohort e.g. Manly prior to this year).

In Round 19, following such a brutal Origin game, it was perhaps not surprising to see a number of teams with fewer players from Origin 3 faring better than their more Origin-represented opponents. Perhaps not coincidentally, it was those teams with Queensland Origin players who suffered the most in Round 19, led by the stunning capitulation of the Broncos on Friday night.

As often seems to happen with visiting teams at Suncorp Stadium, Souths started quite strongly against Brisbane, but Brisbane seemed keen for a battle — at least when they had the ball. As the game neared half time, Souths held a 10-6 lead but both teams looked dangerous: a high-scoring game seemed certain, but the explosion of points which soon followed from Souths — and the very easy manner in these points came — was still quite a shock.

While Brisbane was missing Origin players Lockyer and Thaiday, it is important to note that their left side defence — the side Souths attacked relentlessly — was intact. In other words, it was almost inexplicable to see Souths causing carnage every time they passed the ball right and ran. You’d have to think Brisbane would have done something to stop the bleeding if Lockyer and Thaiday would have played, or if their other Origin players Hunt and Hodges had anything to back up their initial 20 minutes’ worth of verve, but this should not detract from the awesome manner of Souths’ victory.

Alas, for supporters of the much-maligned but now on-fire Souths’ five-eighth John Sutton, the two highlights from this game which will be seen for years to come will be Colin Best’s momentum being halted by a sideline cameraman and referee Tony De Las Heras’ consciousness being (briefly) halted by Tonie Carroll’s knee. You’d have to think Carroll and his team mates wished their memory of this slaughter was erased as well…

While Brisbane have gone from a team who would win after every Origin game to a rabble in just a few short years, perhaps the greatest shock in this post-Origin weekend was the rubbish game played by Feral Thurston at Leichhardt on Sunday. Feral is acknowledged as the best player in the NRL at backing up after representative games, but his insipid effort was a major factor behind the Cowbores being well beaten by the Tigers.

It wasn’t the best of weeks for the Feral. Firstly, he was lucky to even be playing for the ‘Bores in this game. As David Williams fortuitously received the ball from Billy Slater in the in-goal area last Wednesday night and went (rather clumsily) to put the ball down, Feral was in the vicinity and, recalling the lessons he’d received from Billy Slater, tried to position his legs under Williams so as to avoid the try being scored.

Someone obviously forgot to tell Feral that Billy is a world-class athlete, with training in gymnastics and equestrian, not to mention 6 years’ experience at the Bellamy Robot School in Melbourne. Feral, on the other hand…well, as an athlete, he makes a pretty good play-making halfback. It can only be assumed that body control and flexibility was one of the last characteristics acquired in the evolution of man….? Whatever the reason, Feral’s attempted try-saving manoeuvre resulted in a swift boot being delivered to the face of Williams.

Further proof of Feral’s Neanderthal-Like behaviour came in the aftermath to this incident, where he joined the Lleyton Hewitt Hall of Fame for telling NSW Captain Kurt Gidley (after Gidley told the referees about Feral’s actions with his boot) to “Shut up, you spastic!”

Somehow, incredibly, Feral received the lightest of charges from the judiciary and was able to play on Sunday but even with this good fortune, the end of a long representative season told on him and he (and his team) stunk.

The Tuesday Roast, as you are all no doubt well aware, takes great pride in objectivity and providing a balanced discussion of the week in the NRL. However, the sight of the Tigers giving the Cowbores a hiding at the home of Rugby League (Leichhardt Oval) with Feral (“Australia says NO!”) having a shocker remains, unequivocally, the best in the game.

Feral’s week was topped off by this description of him from the radio show Fire Up! (on FBI 94.5FM) last Friday morning as they led into referring to his botched try-saving attempt and subsequent spastic comment…”But Johnathan Thurston…he’s on the jungle juice, we don’t know what concoction he’s on, but they’ve got something up at North Queensland, we don’t know what it is. He’s sprouting acne around his neck, he’s got hair in places you shouldn’t have. His veins pop like Jack Nicholson in The Shining. He’s got eyes to match and he came up with a classic…. And let’s not forget he has to wear headgear to restrain those Dumbo-like ears, because if he doesn’t wear his headgear and he puts on a spurt, he’ll fly over the top of the defence!”

Ahh brilliant! Anyway…the Tigers got off to a slow start as the ‘Bores jumped to an 8-nil lead, but the Tigers halted the ‘Bores’ momentum and cut the lead to 2. But the key moment in the game came in the lead-up to this try, when Anthony Watts — a former protégé of Paul Gallen at Cronulla — responded to what he thought was an elbow in the scrum by king-hitting Robbie Farah. The key response came when the referees deemed Watts’ actions worthy of….a warning. A warning! Watts, a grub and a thug with a history of disgusting on-field conduct, was lucky to stay on the field!

Thankfully the Tigers sorted out this oversight in the next scrum and, in doing so, made the task of seeing rather more difficult for Watts over the next few days. Not even seeing his team mate get beaten up could fire up Feral, but the Tigers dominated the next 20 minutes, before easing off for a while, then finishing with a flourish. The ‘Bores definitely missed the usual post-Origin Feral, but also his injured Origin team mate Matt Scott.

The other NRL team to feature a number of Queenslanders is Melbourne and while their overall effort last night against Parramatta wasn’t too bad, it was not enough to match that of the Eels, who were at their best. Melbourne was missing Smith, while Dallas Johnson and Greg Inglis were far from their normal selves (although Billy Slater had a very good game) but Parramatta would have beaten most teams in the NRL with their excellent combination of all-round intensity and desperate defence.

It was Nathan Hindmarsh’s 250th game, but Jarryd Hayne — again — was the star of the show. He was a threat almost every time he touched the ball, he was increasingly involved in playmaking and kicking but his battle against Slater was….just awesome. The viewing public was treated to a clash between two of the best players in the NRL, both at or near their best, both exhibiting extreme competitiveness and both being very important to their team’s chances of victory.

When Parramatta scored 8 points early in the second half (and probably should have had 14 if it wasn’t for an unnecessary Krisnan Inu double movement) with Hayne playing a pivotal role, it seemed as though Hayne would win the battle, but when Melbourne continued to close the deficit despite time running out (where Slater was crucial), the outcome was somewhat less certain.

In the end, Hayne (and Parramatta) triumphed, in part to Parramatta’s excellent on-line defence after reaching their 12-point lead. They denied what appeared to be a number of certain Melbourne tries (although they were a touch lucky when Hayne appeared to bounce the ball, rather than ground it, in his in-goal area) and made the Storm run out of time.

But while the Storm stars were probably justified in feeling a little tired after Origin, the same could not be said for Hayne, who continued his white-hot form of recent months. Has he been going through the motions since bursting on to the scene 3 years ago and, as a result, has a surplus of energy and enthusiasm? How does he have the energy to continue to play at such a high level after a full representative season?! Amazing…

The other two games featuring a high number of Origin players were Cronulla v. Manly and the Bulldogs v. Gold Coast. The Cronulla v. Manly game was one of the more bizarre games seen this season. With Manly’s strong defensive record, Cronulla’s so-so attack and the slippery night conditions making scoring difficult, a tight low-scoring game was expected by many. Instead, the first half saw 38 points, with mistake after mistake being punished for tries by both teams. Clearly, Manly’s Origin players did not have the requisite approach for this game and Cronulla’s youthful exuberance benefited, as they took a 6-point lead to half-time.

But the second half…was the exact opposite. Manly dominated possession and field position but their attack was far too predictable (even for a novice defence such as Cronulla’s) and not nearly threatening enough. Manly was big and strong and ran hard, but it was mostly sideways: it was like a team of lumberjacks trying to cut down a tree with a butter knife.

If Cronulla’s Jack Afamasaga didn’t throw a stupid offload to Manly’s Watmough, Barrett would not have been sin-binned and Manly would probably still be trying to score a second-half try. But Barrett’s sin-binning saw Cronulla open up and allow an easy try and eventually Manly overwhelmed the tiring Cronulla defence. You’d have to say though this required far more effort than was necessary.

On Friday night, the Bulldogs proved that backing up from Origin successfully was not that difficult as they were quite clinical in defeating the Gold Coast. This season, the Titans have been at their best when playing highly rated teams and their bare-minimum win over Parramatta last Monday night suggested they had their eye on the Bulldogs and another big-name scalp. Unfortunately for them, the Bulldogs also had their eye on this game (especially after losing to the Titans earlier in the season). Their early-game dominance rendered the Titans’ effort (which usually — at the very least — neutralises good teams, allowing their speed to score points) almost useless and saw them jump out to a handy lead.

The Bulldogs’ cause was boosted by the surprise return of Jamal Idris; he brushed aside Mat Rogers with ease before racing away for a try. But the Bulldogs’ lead was probably not as large as it should have been and when continued (and increasingly varied) Gold Coast attacking plays finally came off, the game got a far closer finish than it probably should have had. Kimmorley sealed the win with a late field goal, but he, Patten (NSW 18th man), Ennis and Morris all had excellent games for the Bulldogs.

The final 2 games in Round 19 had only minimal Origin players involved, but their results can still be linked to last Wednesday night. Admittedly, the link was somewhat tenuous in the Penrith v. Canberra game, where Canberra had a horrible first half with refereeing decisions. There weren’t a number of clear cut mistakes but Penrith almost always received the benefit of a doubtful decision during the first 40 minutes as they accrued an 18-0 lead. But Canberra’s forward grunt was limited by the absence of Queenslander Shillington and an injury to New South Welshman Learoyd-Lahrs (as well as to Alan Tongue); by the time Canberra was competitive in this game, the damage was done.

Lastly, the Warriors broke their drought (point-scoring and winning) in a late win against the Roosters. Without the wannabe pugilist Price, the Warriors looked to have finally (maybe) turned the corner after falling behind 12-0 and 18-6 to the Roosters. A team with a bit more in the tank than the Roosters might well have punished the Warriors as they tired in the second half, but it was ultimately a deserving win for them, as they finally stood up without their forward leader.

In most seasons, there is a definite post-representative letdown seen for those NRL teams with a significant number of Origin players; one would expect this letdown to be somewhat more pronounced this season given the above-average intensity of the final two Origin games and the high number of players carrying injuries in these games. It should be an intriguing next few weeks ahead. See you next week.

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Round 18 - Manly v. Bulldogs: A Closer Look

While many considered last Monday night’s Manly – Bulldogs game to be one of the best – if not the best – seen so far this season, it was rather unfortunate scheduling for those without Fox Sports or unable to get to Brookvale. How Channel 9 passed on this game when scheduling for Friday night (or even Sunday afternoon) – while showing the St George Illawarra v. Roosters and Penrith v. Parramatta games instead – remains a mystery.

However, another victim of Channel 9’s baffling scheduling decision was the Tuesday Roast. Given the Tuesday morning publishing time, it follows that the Roast cannot be substantially rewritten after any Monday night game. This was disappointing (just quietly, how versatile is the word ‘disappointing’? It can be used to describe anything from game time weather to the worst of rugby league scandals) once it became apparent that this year’s edition of Manly v. Bulldogs at Brookvale was another classic.

With the shortened round 18 of the NRL providing few highlights or incidents worthy of a Roast of their own, below is a closer look at last Monday night’s epic.

In the lead-up to this game, Manly’s strong recent form, their need for this to continue to have a realistic shot at defending their title and the home-ground advantage meant they were a slight favourite with the bookmakers, but this reasoning ignored significant recent history between Manly and the Bulldogs.

Since Manly returned to the NRL elite in 2005, every Bulldogs’ visit to Brookvale has caused them problems. In 2005 and 2007, the Bulldogs scored 19-point victories, each of which saw long Manly home winning streaks come to an end. In (late) 2006, Manly only just got the win over the Bulldogs who were without Mason and Asotasi and who had already secured 2nd position (although Manly was without their inspirational leader Ben Kennedy), while last season, Manly finally secured a rare (relatively) easy win, although it was far from convincing against a Bulldogs team without Luke Patten.

For whatever reason in the NRL, some teams just happen to play well against others or at certain grounds; the Bulldogs at Brookvale is one of those combinations.

However, at the risk of enraging Manly supporters, the Bulldogs’ ongoing success at one of the more difficult venues in the NRL for opposing teams to score a win comes from their superior big-game mentality. The Bulldogs’ success over the last 30 or so years is built on the siege mentality, which is best seen in their important wins away from home. Typically, they know exactly how to approach big games and especially know the difference between big games during the season and big games during the finals. More on this later.

In contrast, Manly’s success in recent years has been built upon superior physical attributes than their opposition. Their backrowers possess an abnormal combination of size, strength, speed, agility, leadership, endurance and now (with Glenn Stewart) ball-playing ability. Their ability to play 80 minutes means their army of props (generally with superior physical conditioning to many) can be rotated and dominate. On the back of this, Manly’s kicking game, dummy half service and point scoring ability come from a very helpful base.

However, for those who can match Manly physically, the task of beating them is not nearly as difficult. In Matt Awful, they may have a halfback capable of (somehow) winning a Dally M Medal, but not nearly as capable of doing much to lead Manly to a difficult win. Partly because of Awful’s major limitations when his forwards are not dominant, but also because of the one-dimensional leadership of Des Hasler and legacy of Ben Kennedy, Manly’s typical response when placed under pressure – i.e. when the opposition does not break under the strain of Manly’s dominant forward pack – is, quite simply, to try even harder. In other words, they rarely try anything different or unusual to crack a team, but execute their normal game-plan at a higher intensity in the belief that their superior physical attributes will eventually break their opposition. This is especially the case for Manly without Brett Stewart, but even with him, his brilliance was only ever seen in maybe a handful of different game situations (such as him sweeping around behind the decoy runner or having an Awful wrong-way kick done for him to chase).

Last Monday night, Manly started strongly and, knowing that the Bulldogs were without props Hannant and Armit (and hence had a rather small team), tried to press home their advantage via their size. But Manly’s attack was not quite in rhythm and the Bulldogs’ defence didn’t allow any more than an early try: the fact that the Bulldogs did not break under this pressure and, perhaps, also due to memories of previous Bulldogs’ wins recurring in their head meant Manly started to…perhaps not panic, but feel less assured about their chances of winning.

So…they lifted, they tried harder. In 2005 and 2006, when Kennedy led Manly, this would happen in most games where Manly did not thrash their opposition: Manly would start strongly then fade a bit; subconsciously, the rest of the team was waiting for Kennedy to spark them. Since 2006, this pattern has not been as evident (and Manly’s winning percentage has been a fair bit higher), but the trend is still seen that, when they’re in a struggle (especially against a top team), their response is to keep it same, but do it harder.

Another sign of Manly’s inferior approach to this game was the slight changes to their game plan (or at least the play of certain individuals). Over the last two seasons, Manly used Jamie Lyon at five-eighth for much of the time, utilising (especially last season) his kicking game to take pressure off Awful. In 2009, following the signing of Chris Bailey, Lyon has stayed almost exclusively at centre, but he popped up at five-eighth again for much of this game.

Also, winger Dave Williams has made a name for himself during his relatively short time in the NRL for his hard and fast kick returns (which often bend back opposition defences). But we saw Williams introduce the pass (just before the line) into his repertoire early in this game, at times when he normally would rush into the defence.

Perhaps this was not a Hasler ploy, perhaps Williams was put off his game after Queensland jolted the ball loose on his runs in Origin 2, but the point with this (and with Lyon’s shift closer to the action) was that Manly had introduced some subtle changes to their game for this relatively unimportant (in the overall picture) match. It confirmed the always rather edgy Hasler was even more on edge for this game. In contrast, the Bulldogs have a long-established reputation for saving such slight adjustments for important games at the end of the season and kept within their set-up for all of this game.

The only times where the Bulldogs deviated from their “plan” was when several of their younger and less experienced players (as well as Michael Ennis – someone who really should have known better) got caught up in Manly’s (over)aggressiveness and gave away some quite unnecessary penalties for ill-timed aggression of their own. It became apparent fairly early on in this game that the Bulldogs needed to play smart and allow Manly’s aggressiveness and steadily increasing anxiety to be used against them and this almost happened (thanks to the excellent leadership of Kimmorley, Ryan, Patten, El Masri and (at times) Ennis) but, in the end, some dumb penalties given away by the Bulldogs probably cost them a win (along with some poor decision-making late on).

Manly jumped ahead fairly early and had significant amounts of good attacking possession over the next 20 or so minutes, but the Bulldogs held firm and looked gradually more threatening each time they attacked (although rarely had any good field position of their own). New Sea Eagle Ben Farrar was playing with enthusiasm but unfortunately he cost himself two tries through his haste during the first half.

When the Bulldogs scored with a rare venture into Manly’s area late in the first half, the arm-wrestle was on. Awful gave Manly a one-point half-time lead, but a L’Estrange spear tackle and a dumb defensive option by Glenn Stewart gave the Bulldogs a penalty goal and another try to Morris – and a 5-point lead.

Manly continued to enjoy quite good field position and had a number of attacking sets near the Bulldogs’ line, but with each Bulldog stop, the anxiety amongst Manly players and supporters grew: surely they can’t beat us here again?! Eventually, Manly’s weight of possession (aided by the aforementioned penalties and some errors) told and they scored in the corner. Incredibly, Awful – a notoriously poor goal-kicker – put his conversion attempt just inside the post and over the crossbar and Manly had a lead.

However, it seemed as though the Bulldogs would snatch a late victory. Despite their massive defensive workload, they had enough energy to enjoy several good attacking journeys in the game’s final 7 or 8 minutes, but took poor options on three occasions when field goal opportunities (and the potential for extra time) were on offer.

An incredible game like this deserved a great ending, and it came when Josh Perry picked up a loose pass and ran 30 metres to seal a famous win for Manly. While both teams were not quite at their best, they certainly played their hardest. A tight, absorbing, intense battle; it was a game for the ages.

Round 18 recap

Unfortunately, Manly’s passion on the field is also seen off the field as well. Specifically, they truly believe they are being hard done by when they have to play without their Origin players and truly believe the game would be better off if they could have their Origin players whenever possible. They conveniently ignore that virtually every good team since the early 1980s has had to make do without their Origin stars; it’s a fact of life for teams at the top in the NRL and a key plank in the NRL’s de facto measures to make the competition more even.

They should also thank their lucky stars they had such a small Origin representation last season (compared to Melbourne’s gargantuan contribution). Without this advantage, Melbourne is now shooting for three premierships in a row and Manly is nursing their wounds after their 11th grand final loss.

Yep, Manly was thrashed (although they competed for much of the game and was unlucky to concede a series of tries to the Dragons’ incredible speed) on Sunday and they had a whinge afterwards. It’s a little bit tough to blame your loss on missing players when your opposition was without just as many….

In other matches, Souths finally provided a glimpse of their potential as they soundly defeated Penrith. John Sutton led the way for Souths and is a serious threat for Orig…just kidding.

On Saturday, Newcastle’s inability to defeat teams below them on the ladder was set to be tested with the visit of the Raiders, but they received a major boost just three minutes into the game. No offence to Jarrod Mullen and his perhaps severe injury, but his loss meant Newcastle’s approach to the remainder of the game was similar to that of playing a top-four opponent: focus, intensity, a relatively simple game-plan and a huge defensive effort. Anything less without such an important player would have meant certain defeat. Their defence was outstanding, their attack was somewhat limited but did the job (led by the much-maligned Ben Rogers, who was forced into halfback but led his team brilliantly) and it was an amazing score-line of 23-4 in favour of a team who was dominated.

On Sunday, the Warriors had a brilliant opportunity to turn their season around: the 2008 Bulldogs (plus Stagg and Hodgson) came to town. The Warriors could have killed them early but didn’t and the severely limited Bulldogs (eventually) seized on this and threatened to post a big lead. It was only Andrew Ryan’s poor handling which prevented this, but then the Warriors – who can be so good when well behind – responded and took the lead back rather quickly. They had a number of chances to seal the win, but screwed them up or never got there and inexplicably allowed the Bulldogs to get all the way down field without anything more than running hard. They fully deserved their loss and will be nothing more than nuisance value from now on.

Finally last night, a rare thing happened: a team actually worried more about their next round opponent than their current round one. It does get talked about quite often, but this time, the Titans – with their next game just four days away (Friday vs. the Bulldogs) – thought 14 points was enough to beat Parramatta and pretty much stopped. They gave Parramatta about 50 minutes to beat them before firing up again for another 3 minutes to extend their lead slightly. They held on for the win in perhaps their least impressive effort this season.

Hopefully so much talk about Manly and the Bulldogs won’t make this Roast my least impressive effort of the season! Enjoy Origin, good luck trying to tip the ‘dead rubber’ and see you next week.

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Round 17: D'yawanna Seehaiku? (It’s a Question, Not the Newest Polynesian NRL Player)

A noteworthy feature of the NRL in 2009 has been the return of the older and wiser (relatively speaking) player. The factors which have driven the average age and number of older players in the NRL down over the last few decades (faster speed of game, bigger, stronger players and hence more force in every tackle, the salary cap remaining largely stagnant whilst salaries on offer elsewhere or in other sports have been rising, Reserve Grade’s gradual demotion from the First Grade curtain-raiser to sharing facilities with park Rugby League players and the increasing prevalence of NRL-ready physiques amongst up-and-coming teenage players) have been well-documented, but we may be witnessing an end to this trend. Thus far in 2009, a very important component to the success of those teams near the top of the ladder – while also improving the standing of some struggling teams – has been the increased presence of experience and wisdom, especially in the important playmaking positions.

The return of experience to the NRL has been seen in several forms. These include the star player (who, due to good luck, good management and a desire to continue playing in the NRL, continue to enjoy very successful careers well into “old age” e.g. Civoniceva, Price, Lockyer, El Masri, Simpson, Hindmarsh), the late career renaissance (those who have never left the NRL but may as well have, due to long-term injury, poor form, a dramatic improvement in coaching received or being stuck on a rubbish team before moving somewhere their talents come to the fore e.g. MacDougall, Chris Walker, Ryan, Kimmorley, Patten, Cooper, Campbell) and the return from elsewhere (otherwise known as “what time in the wilderness can do for a player’s perspective” e.g. Wendell, Stacey Jones, Brad Meyers, Barrett).

The most recent example of the value of experience culminated last week (but was apparently in the works for some time). Brisbane’s on-field experience was cut significantly over recent years and as the Broncos’ losing streak mounted, it became apparent that an older, harder head (and jaw) was needed. Enter Tonie Carroll, six months or so into a real estate agent career, but Brisbane’s fortunes turned around almost the instant after which he returned to the field on Friday night.

While it appears to be the end of the trend for more on-field youth in the NRL, it is hard to see the trend reversing: unless Rugby League once again fully embraces its working class roots, you won’t see most players debuting at age 23, you won’t see most clubs holding on to their veterans until they can no longer play and you won’t see older, smarter players receiving their due when they are on the open market.

However, it is not a stretch or an untruth to say that most NRL followers have enjoyed the return of the experienced player; the Tuesday Roast shares this sentiment. As a tribute to the experienced players of the NRL, this week’s Roast will incorporate literary techniques representative of cultures where experience and wisdom are highly sought-after and much-respected qualities. Yes, it’s Haiku time again.

St George Illawarra v. Sydney Roosters

A slow Dragons start
Was turned around after half
Powered by Soward

On paper, the top-of-the-table Dragons had a decided edge over the bottom-placed Roosters but, as long-time Dragons’ supporters will tell you, these are dangerous games. The supporters’ suspicions were confirmed in the first half, as a committed Roosters team played well above their ladder position to take a 6-point lead to half-time. While a slow start may have been expected by some, the TAB was sufficiently concerned by the Dragons’ effort to register them as only a slight favourite to come back and win.

As it turned out, the Dragons’ price for winning plummeted early in the second half as several penalties and a half-time adjustment or two (looking to pass wide so as to go around the Roosters’ compressed defence) saw the Dragons take the lead not long into the second half. As it was against the Tigers last week, it was Jamie Soward who led the way. His ever-improving decision-making meant it was raining opportunities for the Dragons’ right-side attack – first-time right centre Matt Prior scored two tries, while Wendell bagged one – before Soward finished off a solid win with yet another long-range, runaway try against the Roosters.

Brisbane v. New Zealand

For Un-Zid, it was
Must-win again, but Tunza
And DT were huge!

This game was the Warriors’ second in their South-East Queensland road trip and it was quite similar to their match against the Gold Coast last Saturday night. Again, the Warriors started very strongly but again, they couldn’t convert much of their advantage into points. And again, they chose a penalty goal, which turned out to be a poor choice, as their attacking opportunities dried up as the game went on.

But the story of this game was the dominance of Brisbane’s much-maligned Dave Taylor. He has shown glimpses of dominating games during his relatively short time in first grade, but his on-field time in first grade has reportedly been heavily reduced due to a poor attitude to training etc. For Brisbane to allow someone of such potential to sign elsewhere for next season suggests something is not right, but after watching Taylor put Warrior after Warrior on their back with barnstorming runs…surely these problems could have been worked through. Taylor could be one of the game’s great props.

One of Rugby League’s great locks in the last decade or so was Tonie Carroll. Little was expected from him in this game, his first game back after a comeback from retirement, but it was as if he’d never left. The hard runs off Lockyer on the edge of the ruck, the textbook crunching tackles…you get the impression he could play another few years (he may have to do this, of course, to put food on the table if life becomes much tougher in the Gold Coast real estate market).

Between Taylor and Carroll, Brisbane now had some punch in the forwards they’d been sorely lacking so far this season. This inspired Brisbane to come back from an early deficit and record a strong victory, with intensity and ball movement not seen in many matches (it was perhaps not a coincidence that Brisbane’s team play picked up once Folau went off injured).

Souths v. Wests Tigers

The Tigers are back…
…Sort of. Farah was great, but
Not much value here.

The first game on Saturday night was a tough one to tip, but also a tough one to watch: both the Tigers and Souths have been struggling mightily over the past month and beyond. While this game showed that Souths still have much work to do to in several areas – ‘on the field’ being the main one – the points-happy Tigers shouldn’t be too satisfied either. Once you score 36 points, there really shouldn’t be any nervousness, but this was the case as Souths mounted a mini-comeback and could have cut Wests’ lead to 12 with much time remaining.

However, when Simpson blew this chance, the Tigers steadied and added three more tries for a convincing win. Robbie Farah (a.k.a. the Ventriloquist) had a hand in almost every Tigers try, while Benji appeared more comfortable wearing number 6. Benji had some good moments but also some bad ones, but a sneaky highlight in this game came after Benji’s very questionable decision to try and set up Tuiaki for an inside pass near the Tigers’ goal-line saw Craig Wing knock the ball from Benji’s hands and lead to a Souths try. As replays of Benji’s silliness were being viewed, the music man played Katy Perry’s “Hot and Cold”: quite apt, really, for both Benji and the Tigers.

Melbourne v. Newcastle

Newcastle lift for
The big-name teams; but Storm
Hung tough, did enough

The bookmakers and (almost all) tipsters were pretty much unanimous: Melbourne just doesn’t lose two in a row, especially when the second game is at Olympic Park and even more so when their opposition is backing up five days after a Monday night game.

But this is not the same Melbourne Storm of 2006-2008: the Storm has had a number of close calls at home this season and really should have lost back to back games when the Warriors played them on ANZAC Day. Also, Newcastle is on the way to becoming a genuine premiership threat. Sure, they have troubles with consistency and disposing of teams they are expected to beat, but they have been nothing short of brilliant against teams above them on the ladder this season. Most importantly, Newcastle gave Melbourne two of their toughest games of 2008; a narrow loss at Olympic Park (where Melbourne’s reliance on Folau reached new heights – no pun intended) and an inspiring one-point win in Newcastle.

Despite being without veterans Simpson and MacDougall, Newcastle gradually dominated possession on Saturday night, but found points hard to come by due to a combination of excellent Melbourne defence and a very slippery surface. Nevertheless, Newcastle held a slim lead into the dying minutes of the game but just couldn’t hold on, as Inglis set up Chambers for the winning try.

Melbourne is somewhat difficult to decipher: at times, they appear brilliant, other times, they seem tired, but most of the time, they seem to do just enough (even if that’s not quite the plan) to win, especially at home. It remains to be seen how they will emerge from the Origin period; even in their best years, they have struggled to be near their best during this time.

North Queensland v. Cronulla

A tough one for the
Injury-hit Cowboys, but
They were just too good

An unusual challenge confronted Cronulla in the early minutes of their game against the Cowboys on Saturday night: their highly regarded opposition losing several important players. All of a sudden, Cronulla was not quite the rank outsiders many had expected them to be. They would have had the lead were it not for some excellent Cowboy defence and the archaic corner-post rule, but nevertheless a nil-all halftime score line against the Cowbores with Feral Thurston was a significant achievement.

The Cowboys lost another player to injury early in the second half; not necessarily a great player, but one hard to replace in the current interchange system (winger John Williams). This made their four-try burst to put the game out of the gallant Sharks’ reach even more impressive.

Canberra v. Gold Coast

Titans hate cold
Their Coast is Gold not cold, but
No thrashing this time

The Gold Coast has shown further improvement across many areas in their third season in the NRL. Even their winning percentage outside of Queensland – traditionally this has been poor – has increased towards fifty per cent.

But for some reason, the Titans just cannot compete for 80 minutes in Canberra. True, their second half comeback was impressive – they really had no right to have a chance at tying the score in the game’s final seconds – but they should never have been down 28-6 at halftime. It was simply too easy for Canberra, who played well, but not at the same level as they did when beating Melbourne last week.

Canberra’s monster forward pack again laid the platform against the injury-hit Titans but the unlikely duo of Phil Graham and Josh Miller each picked up two tries, which reflected shoddy play on the part of the Titans: Graham hasn’t outpaced any serious opposition since before his terrible run with injury, while Miller’s two close-range tries spoke volumes about Gold Coast’s on-line defence.

To compound matters, after Canberra lost winger Justin Carney to a horrible broken leg, the Titans failed to explore opportunities on Carney’s side of the field (the right side) where it is well known that Canberra’s defence was shoddy even when Carney was present. Canberra has to play a lumbering forward in their outer right-side defence, but Prince and others failed to test the resilience of Canberra’s makeshift defensive combination. Overall, it was another poor afternoon in Canberra for the Titans, although at least it was no annihilation this time.

Penrith v. Parramatta

A Wild West Shootout
But with bullets of rubber;
Defence > round de-field

A packed suburban ground, a cool but sunny afternoon, a local derby and both teams in need of a win: the ingredients for a fast, entertaining game at Penrith on Sunday afternoon were seemingly all ticked off. But it became clear from quite early on that both teams had left their desire to defend as a team in the change rooms or on the bus. There were many points scored but labelling many of these as ‘try’ would have been exaggerating things just a tad.

However, the game ended up being quite entertaining (as long as you didn’t look too closely at the ease with which points came) as the game featured a number of lead changes and a number of displays of attacking brilliance. Players such as Hayne, Mortimer and Hindmarsh for Parra and Jennings, Walsh and Paulo for Penrith wowed the crowd…but it seemed as though Parramatta had a slightly better attitude and, more importantly, the lead late in this game.

But the win – and perhaps Parramatta’s faint chances of making the top 8 – were snatched away by a combination of the lightning-quick Jennings and that Walsh and Graham got him early ball and space a number of times. His almost undefendable step allowed Penrith to re-take the lead for good with 4 minutes left and the first real defensive commitment of the afternoon from Penrith sealed the win.

Manly v. Bulldogs

A great rivalry
Manly (just); Dogs gutsy
Game of the season

Given other results during Round 17, but also for reasons of revenge and stating that their premiership defence was far from finished, this was a must-win game for Manly. Their play in the opening minutes reflected this; Manly generally plays with an intensity and force amongst the best in the NRL, but there was no doubt they were at their best in these key areas early on. Another motivation for their strong start would have been the smallish size of the Bulldogs’ forward pack.

Manly jumped to a 6-nil lead but couldn’t stretch this lead any further, despite major effort, and the Bulldogs felt more comfortable about themselves and their chance for victory as it became clear Manly’s efforts were rather inefficient at leading to points. To paraphrase a tenet of martial arts philosophy, it appeared that Manly’s (over)aggressive play could have led to their demise, due to smart but committed play from the Bulldogs.

This game eventually turned into an epic, as these two committed teams with somewhat different approaches traded the lead and good opportunities to win, before the outcome was decided in the game’s final minutes as Manly’s Josh Perry summoned the energy for one more run before sliding across the line.

How good was this game? Manly v. the Bulldogs at Brookvale has provided some of the better games in the NRL since 2005, but this was the best of the lot. It was so good, in fact, it deserves more than a few paragraphs; discussion of this epic will feature heavily in the upcoming Roast for Round 18.

On that note, sayonara and see you next week.

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Round 16: History – Is It That Those Who Cannot Learn From It Are Doomed To Make The Same Mistakes? Or Is It Bunk (More Or Less)?

The evenness and parity across the NRL in recent years masks the fact that some teams have a dominant record over a number of years over particular other teams. However, those who watch Rugby League on even a semi-regular basis would know that it is very possible for a lesser talented but wholly committed team to succeed over a more highly ranked team over 80 minutes if that team is under-strength, experiences injuries during the game or is in any way complacent.

This can make the (quasi) science (art?) of predicting NRL results quite difficult. Will a very definite trend in the results between two given teams continue in their next match, or will the team on the wrong end of the trend make a stand (possibly using the negative history as motivation)?

Round 16 in the NRL saw a distinct trend in past results between each pair of matched up teams, but the relevance of this trend was different across many of these matches. In other words, a vastly different line-up for some teams – as well as the impact of backing up from the recent State of Origin match on many of the highly ranked teams – threatened to render recent history almost irrelevant in many cases.

Or did it? Below is a look at the Round 16 matches with respect to what history suggested might happen.

Wests Tigers v. St. George Illawarra

History: Wests had won 6 of the previous 7 games between these teams (including possibly the best game ever in September 2005). For whatever reason, the Tigers’ attack always gave the Dragons problems. Also, the 2009 Dragons had struggled (relatively speaking) backing up off representative games.

Reality: Or perhaps this should say ‘reality check’. The final margin might have only been 11 points, but this was a Dragons’ thrashing. They were perhaps a touch lucky to not concede any Tigers points in the first 35 or so minutes, but the ease with which they scored 4 tries of their own and their very solid defence against their bogey team was top-shelf. The Tigers looked somewhat off their game, but the Dragons’ excellent defence made the Tigers’ attack look almost comatose at times. Jamie Soward led the Dragons’ attack with a brilliant game. His improved ability to decide which play to utilise after seeing what the defence is allowing him means he should now be considered for the NSW team for Origin 3.

In the aftermath, it was suggested that the Dragons were happy to score a good win so soon after Origin, but any signs of post Origin tiredness were rarely evident in the Dragons’ effort. For the Tigers, they haven’t looked so overmatched in a long time, but every cloud has a silver lining: news that John Morris had signed with Cronulla from 2010 brought a smile to even the most disappointed Tigers supporter.

Bulldogs v. North Queensland

History: The Cowboys won 6 of the last 8 games between these teams (although they hadn’t played in Sydney for almost 5 years). Obviously, the Bulldogs of 2009 is a much different team to that of previous years, but ANY team that plays the Cowboys after a representative game has to fear the seemingly indefatigable Feral Thurston. While the Cowboys were also missing Bowen and O’Donnell, the Bulldogs have had a historical tendency to drop games at home when they are favoured to win (as they were on Friday night).

Reality: The Cowboys were very competitive for much of this game, but ultimately this was another victory for the Bulldogs and especially their potent left-side attack of Roberts, Morris and Goodwin (the latter two of these should both be considered for the NSW team for Origin 3). Thurston was again excellent in backing up, but the Cowboys really missed O’Donnell and Bowen. Bowen may not be at his brilliant best at the moment, but the Cowboys miss him because they simply do not have another half-decent fullback.

Gold Coast v. New Zealand

History: While these teams have only ever played three times, Round 16 has been a turning point of these two clubs’ seasons in recent years. In 2007, the Warriors defeated the Titans to start the Titans’ losing run to end that season, while in 2008, the Titans lost their first home game of the season and started a run of 2 wins out of their final 11 games to end the season and miss the finals (again). A loss in this game would have been the Titans’ first home loss of the season and they were without a number of important players for this game (injuries were a distinct feature of their 2007 and 2008 meltdowns).

Meanwhile the Warriors have endured mid-season runs of futility before resurrecting their campaigns from approximately Round 16 during the last three seasons. In 2007, they did this with a win on the Gold Coast as they won 9 of their last 12, while in 2008, a Round 16 win over the Tigers was the start of an eight wins in 10 matches stretch. They finished 2006 by winning 8 out of 12, where the third win in this stretch came in Round 16.

Reality: Once again, the Titans proved to be very resilient. Time and time again this season, they have faced significant challenges and overcome most of them. Their depth is the best in the NRL and their incorporation of young talent into their line-up is done better than most. The Warriors started this game well, but the Gold Coast held them out and displayed a strong and open style of play to take a good lead to half-time, which became the foundation of another impressive win. The Titans seem to relish the challenge of overcoming a historical hurdle and getting a win without important players. The ageless Preston Campbell had another pearler – he could be a real chance for NSW for Origin 3.

Meanwhile, it was another disappointing effort in Australia for the Warriors, but as long as they show glimpses of brilliance and remain within the vicinity of the top 8, their standard late-season run is a possibility.

Sydney Roosters v. Cronulla

History: The Roosters have a significant edge over Cronulla and have had this since Cronulla’s inception, but this edge has been pronounced at the Sydney Football Stadium, especially in recent years. Making matters worse for Cronulla in the lead-up to this game was the Roosters’ poor form. In the teams’ previous five matches at the SFS, the Roosters had won 4. Of the last 3 of these, the Roosters had lost 3 (and had their coach resign), 6 and 5 games coming into their game against Cronulla. Their losing streak before this game was 6.

Reality: Whether they did so to continue their historical dominance or just to end a long losing streak, the Roosters were much improved in defeating Cronulla on Saturday night. While they had been unlucky in recent weeks, their sustained intensity in this game has not been seen….for months. They did show a few lingering signs of terrible defence from recent weeks when they allowed Cronulla to score two tries despite barely crossing half-way during the first half, but their intensity did not waver in the second half and eventually the gutsy Sharks had to relent. Fitzgibbon and Mason led the way for the Roosters and must be a show for NSW for Origin 3, while Pearce also put in an accomplished effort and must now also be in contention.

That said, Ricky Stuart might make a return to the Roosters’ Christmas Card List for allowing the clearly and significantly injured Paul Gallen to play much of this game despite a badly hurt shoulder. This allowed the Roosters to get an easy try (when scoring for them was hard work) early in the second half and hindered Cronulla’s comeback efforts.

Canberra v. Melbourne

History: Melbourne came into this game having won their last FOURTEEN games against Canberra. However, Melbourne have shown signs of vulnerability in post Origin games over the last few years where few challenges have been presented, while their previous three games in Canberra were all very hard fought affairs, with Melbourne only escaping with fairly close wins.

Reality: History looked set to repeat here for about 15 minutes late in the second half, after Canberra started very strongly and scored what looked like being the important first try of the second half to reach a 20-4 lead, but Melbourne then scored two nice tries to cut the deficit to just 4 with much time remaining.

However, Canberra held strong and didn’t allow Melbourne any chances to score (despite some good field position) before Bronson Harrison put the icing on the cake with a try in the final minute. As a Kiwi, he is ineligible for Origin 3, but NSW could do a lot worse than choosing Canberra’s inspirational Alan Tongue for Origin 3, as well as Learoyd-Lahrs, Tilse and Dugan.

The combination of Canberra’s determination to overcome history and Melbourne’s usual effort to avoid defeat meant this was one of the better games so far this season, but Melbourne will be cursing their lack of preparation (effort?) to combat Canberra’s cross-kicks for the acrobatic Monaghan. There was little doubt that it was a courageous effort for Inglis to play in this game, but his inability to protect his winger from the Monaghan assault probably ended up costing his team the win.

Parramatta v. Brisbane

History: This rivalry is somewhat like Parramatta’s against Cronulla: while Parramatta often has success in Brisbane, they rarely defeat them at home. However, Parramatta has been in an on-off pattern since Round 7 and, if the pattern was to be followed, this was to be the ‘on’ week (where all the ‘on’ weeks have seen Parramatta take on teams well above them on the ladder). Also, Brisbane has struggled mightily in post Origin games since the bulk of their experienced squad left following 2007.

Reality: The ‘uncertain’ history gave way to perhaps the most difficult game to tip of the round. Once it became clear Parramatta had ‘turned up’ to play, a win for them almost seemed assured, especially with the late withdrawal of Israel Folau, the news of the injuries carried by Peter Wallace and Karmichael Hunt and the in-game injury suffered by Nick Kenny. However, Brisbane slowly but surely came back into the game and when Michaels crossed for his second try, Parramatta’s lead was gone and a virtual field-goal shoot-out had begun.

Parramatta created a number of chances during this time, mostly through the white-hot Jarryd Hayne, but failed to convert any of them, while Brisbane’s forwards were gaining solid amounts of distance, getting them closer to good field goal position. Eventually Lockyer had a good look at giving his team the lead – but he slipped and Brisbane’s chances slipped away, as Parramatta marched down the field and Luke Burt knocked over a field goal from almost 40 metres out.

When Brisbane’s short kick-off failed, Parramatta celebrated with young Mortimer crossing for a famous win. He and Burt surely have to be considered for NSW for Origin 3, as well as Hindmarsh, Grothe and Reddy.

Newcastle v. Souths

History: Newcastle has a dominant record over Souths since their inception in 1988 (23 wins out of 29 games) but they have shown an alarming tendency to drop their level of play to that of their opponents this season (as seen in their loss to Parramatta, their dodgy win over the Warriors and their collapse against the Tigers). The struggling but desperate Rabbitohs fit the bill of a team who could trouble the inconsistent Knights, especially as they were without Craig Wing (and Wing’s absence could perhaps have worsened any Newcastle complacency).

Reality: It became apparent not long after the start of this game that Newcastle’s 17-day period since their last game could also be a factor driving a possible poor performance. They started strongly and looked set to overwhelm Souths, but it probably came a little too easy for Newcastle and they were probably a little bit too keen to start strongly after such a long layoff. Mentally, Newcastle lapsed over the next ten or so minutes (exemplified by Danny Wicks’ floating pass when a hit-up was the right play) and Souths scored two tries and could have scored more.

Souths enjoyed a 12-6 half-time lead despite some very poor decisions and execution by John Sutton. However, he was almost matched in the ineptness stakes by his counterpart and former team-mate Ben Rogers: it was a Battle Of The Pathetic Five-Eighths for a fair while, but surprisingly, neither will be considered for NSW for Origin 3.

After half-time, Newcastle re-focussed and hence dominated much of the second half to record a solid win. Jarrod Mullen led the way, steering Newcastle around beautifully and putting his name into contention for NSW for Origin 3 (seriously). His deft field goal was a highlight. But the return of Adam MacDougall (and having him defended by makeshift centre Ben Lowe) also helped, with Newcastle sending most of their attack down MacDougall’s right side. MacDougall and Steve Simpson played themselves into contention for a spot on an extended bench for NSW in Origin 3.

Hopefully you enjoyed this look at History in the NRL and (in this round) just how useless it is as a predictor of results. Next week on the Roast, there will be a detailed look at the 48-man NSW squad for Origin 3. See you next week.

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Round 15: A Real No-Brainer

A combination of the absence of a number of elite players and teams, inclement conditions and a failure to take very good opportunities on the part of a number of lower-ranked teams meant Round 15 in the NRL was one of the poorer rounds in recent memory. While several significantly weakened, upper echelon teams gained important wins, even they were not immune to the outbreak of shoddy play.

However, Round 15’s aesthetic unsightliness was far more than just poor execution of strategy or mistakes due to the wet weather. Much of this was – put simply – dumb play: dumb play from lowly ranked teams, whose chances for success against weakened better teams were ruined by shameful ignorance of what should have been less threatening strengths. But, as the mostly close final results of the weekend’s matches suggests, the better teams also played dumb, in not fully capitalising on their initial advantages.

Therefore, the most apt form for this week’s Roast is a list of the dumb, the dumber and dumberest happenings from each game, prefaced by suitably stupid quotes from the 1994 movie Dumb and Dumber. Bake it away, toys.

Bulldogs v. Penrith

Harry: Well, I used to have a parakeet, but my main area of expertise is canines: that’s dogs to the layperson.

Mary: Thanks. I love dogs too. So how are you involved with them?

Harry: Oh, I’ve trained them, bathed them, clipped them, I’ve even bred them.

Mary: Really? Any unusual breeding?

Harry: Nah, mostly just doggie-style.

Dumb: Despite their opposition being without a number of important players due to State of Origin and to injury, the Bulldogs still appeared to take Penrith too lightly. This was despite Penrith’s record of success in recent years against the Bulldogs in similar situations (i.e. when Penrith was expected by most to lose).

Dumber: Even allowing for this game being a night game and being played in rainy conditions, the error count in this game was very high. One sequence late in the first half had them rolling in the aisles: a Penrith last tackle passing movement resulted in a dropped ball after the pass was broken up to Walsh. Goodwin picked up the ball for the Bulldogs and ran down the sideline, but his pass was broken up and fielded by Sammut for Penrith.

Sammut looked to drop the ball, but it was just an awkward pass to Graham, who found Emilio, but pressure from El Masri forced Emilio’s pass to go several metres forward. From the ensuing scrum, Holdsworth dropped the ball while trying to pass, then Emilio dropped the ball first pass from the next scrum and the ball was picked up by Andrew Ryan, who proceeded to drop the ball when tackled. The whole game wasn’t this bad. Really. But both teams struggled in the conditions to say the least.

Dumberest: Luckily for the Bulldogs, their slight complacency was not fully punished by Penrith. It was apparent very early on that Penrith was highly motivated for a win, but they had two major failings: 1. their emphasis on attacking via their left-hand side and 2. their poor last tackle plays. They often attack down their left-hand side, but they normally have dynamic attacking players Pritchard and Jennings. Emilio and Cooper never really worried the Bulldogs’ defence.

But Penrith would have been very disappointed with a number of poor last tackle plays in this game. Just before the half hour mark, Penrith threatened to extend their lead into double figures, but consecutive last tackle options (a Sammut dummy half run that went nowhere and a Walsh running of the ball that eventually conceded 20 metres) allowed the Dogs to keep their line intact. Their next possession, the Bulldogs scored. The Bulldogs’ second try also followed a poor Penrith last tackle play. Not a good sign at all for a team that was supposed to have solved their playmaking problems.

North Queensland v. Sydney Roosters

Lloyd: That’s it – I’ve had it with this dump! We got no food, we got no jobs, our pet’s heads are FALLING OFF!

Harry: Ok, just calm down!

Lloyd: What the hell are we doing here Harry? We gotta get outta this town.

Harry: Yeh and go where? Where are we gonna go?

Lloyd: I’ll tell you where: someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I’m talking about a little place called Aspen.

Harry: I don’t know Lloyd, the French are a$$holes.

Dumb: Brad Fittler. I’m not sure what’s more amazing: his misdemeanour or the fact that the Roosters played almost exactly as they did in their last game (when there was no pre-game controversy). The clock is ticking as the Roosters wait for Fittler to depart with some dignity.

Dumber: After falling behind 10-0 very early on, the Cowbores recovered quite quickly and put on three tries with very little effort, despite having almost no playmaking ability in their halves without Feral Thurston. These easy tries came from strong forward running and the excellent play of Aaron Payne at dummy half. They followed it up with another easy try before half time (despite being one man down) – yet they couldn’t score one point in the second half and probably should have lost. While the Roosters’ effort in defence was very good, there is little question the Cowbores should have won this game easily.

Dumberest: The Roosters’ defence after getting to a 10-0 lead. Paper-thin is a cliché when it comes to describing poor defensive lines, but it was almost literally correct here. Even worse was that the Cowbores had NO threats in the halves or outside backs and so the Roosters’ defence could have almost focussed exclusively on the Cowbores’ forwards. Luckily, they still have heart, as evidenced by their effort and that they almost won the game, but that doesn’t excuse their woeful middle defence.

Melbourne v. Wests Tigers

Lloyd: Can’t you just feel it Harry? This is our big chance, man! All we got to do is show a little class and a little sophistication and we’re in like a dirty shirt.

Harry: That’s no problem, Lloyd, we can be classy and sophistic…oh look at the fun bags on that hose-hound.

Lloyd: I’d like to eat her liver with some fava beans and a nice bottle of Chianti!

Dumb: Melbourne might have been missing a number of important players, but their forward pack was largely intact. They should have done more with their early opportunities and done a better job of consolidating. Cooper Cronk having to fire up his team-mates after Melbourne’s second try showed this was a fairly flat team.

Dumber: Tigers again lost a close game. Their forwards (led by the shock return of Gareth Ellis) matched the highly rated Melbourne pack, but two well-constructed tries came with a number of blown chances. Their backs had an edge over the young/crap Melbourne backs, but the Tigers again couldn’t capitalise.

Dumberest: Daine Laurie. Yes, he has potential, but he had potential last year too and he’s not exactly a spring chicken (although he is in terms of experience). Bombed a try, gave up what became an important penalty (leading to Melbourne’s second try) and these were probably the difference in the end. Teflon Sheens is probably bringing him along at the right pace though. Laurie wouldn’t be playing much if it wasn’t for injuries, but Sheens and others have to cop the blame for over-paying some marginal forward talent so as players like Laurie are part of the Tigers’ forward pack ‘depth’.

Manly v. Canberra

Harry: Huh, I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.

Lloyd: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver’s full of $hit, man.

(Next scene)

Lloyd: I’m only human, Harry. Anybody can make a mistake. C’mon, stop being a baby, so we backtracked a tad.

Harry: A TAD?! A TAD Lloyd?! You drove almost a sixth of the way across the country in the wrong direction! Now we don’t have enough money to get to Aspen, we don’t have enough money to get home, we don’t have enough money to eat, we don’t have enough money to sleep!

Dumb: Manly should never have let Canberra back in after their very good first half. Their almost second-string forward pack had the better of Canberra’s monsters and they did so partly by skilfully negotiating the heavy conditions, but for Manly to nearly give up a 20-point lead was criminal. Also, Adam Cuthbertson showed how far he had fallen: from City Origin in April to being replaced in an Origin-weakened line-up by an 18-year old five-eighth (Foran) on debut. Foran had a great first game and Coach Hasler would have been proud that his more mobile team dominated the bigger Raiders, but this was no thanks to Cuthbertson, who had a patchy game.

Dumber: Many assumed Canberra’s Terry Campese would be smarting after his Origin omission and would be keen for a very good performance. However, it was more of what has become largely the same for him this season. He had 10 or so excellent games late last season and parlayed that into a Kangaroos jersey and a five-year contract extension. He may end up being a great player, but his game has slipped this season and his self-confidence has suffered: he is not the type of player (yet) to play well in tough situations. Also, Campese’s usually solid goal kicking also let him down late in this game and hurt Canberra’s chances.

However, Canberra should have at the very least given Campese a chance to tie the game: after scoring three tries in a short space of time to cut the 20-point lead to just 6, Canberra had two excellent chances to score again, through David Milne (why did he not back his pace to go around Robertson instead of chipping him?) and a huge overlap which was botched.

Dumberest: Most importantly though, given their embarrassing loss to Cronulla last week and their dire need for points to put life back into their premiership chances, how could Canberra have NOT started this game with a massive determination to succeed? Instead they started like…well, the best description I saw stated ‘why was Canberra told the game was to start at 4pm instead of 3pm?’ They appeared flat and disinterested to dig in and fight back against the challenge from the under-strength Manly. Finally, they stopped the bleeding, but allowed one more soft try before they finally – but ultimately futilely – played at somewhere near their best. Too little, too late – it could end up being the catchphrase to describe Canberra’s season.

Cronulla v. Brisbane

Lloyd: Hey! Why don’t we get busy and deliver the briefcase to Mary? If I know her as well as I think I do, she’ll invite us right in for tea and strumpets.

Harry: Good plan, where does she live?

Lloyd: I don’t know.

Harry: What’s her last name? I’ll look it up.

Lloyd: Ahh…you know I don’t really recall. Starts with an S! Swim, Swamy, Slippy, Slappy, Simmon, Sommon, Simmon, Som, Swan, Swinson, Swanson?

Harry: Maybe it’s on the briefcase. Look on that.

Lloyd: Oh yeh! It’s right here! Samsonite – I was way off! I knew it started with an S though.

Dumb: Cronulla’s sloppy defence in their own 20 during the game’s first 45 minutes. Brisbane – with a very young fullback and halves combination – was not likely to ask too complex questions of the Cronulla defence and with Cronulla dominating field position for much of the game, Brisbane could have been in major trouble. Instead, they rather easily crossed the line a number of times once they finally got good attacking field position. They scored two easy tries, had another try confusingly disallowed and threatened to do more while the score remained close.

Dumber: Brisbane’s generally poor approach to this game. Only Corey Parker and Nick Kenny could hold their heads high after what was a thrashing at the hands of a terribly inexperienced side with a forward playing at five-eighth. They were never going to be great with youth in such important positions, but their effort and intensity was very poor, especially from several notable off-season signings.

Dumberest: Ben T’eo and Lagi Setu (again) had terrible games. You know someone is rubbish when the Tigers don’t re-sign them; T’eo has hardly made a positive contribution for Brisbane so far this season and his curious bat-back probably denied Brisbane a try in the first half. Meanwhile, Setu’s poor attempted tackle on Millington was the start of Millington’s thirty-metre try-scoring run. Why did Brisbane sign these two but release Dave Taylor? The mind boggles.

New South Wales v. Queensland

Harry: I can’t feel my fingers anymore, Lloyd, they’re numb!

Lloyd: Maybe you should wear these extra gloves, my hands are starting to get sweaty.

Harry: Extra gloves? You’ve had this pair of extra gloves this whole time?

Lloyd: Yeh, we’re in the Rockies.

Harry: I’m gonna kill you!

Lloyd: What?

Harry: I’m gonna kill you! I’m gonna kill you Lloyd! Right now, I’m gonna kill you! I know what I’m gonna do, I’m gonna do something I should have done a long time ago.

Lloyd: Don’t do anything foolish, Harry!

Harry: What? Foolish? This isn’t foolish? I’m gonna toss this damn curse right into that damn pond!

(Struggle ensues)

Lloyd: (shrieks) Harry, your hands are freezing!

Dumb: Yes, they’ve now won four series in a row, and yes, they might be considered one of the best Origin teams ever, but Queensland can never put a heavy defeat on NSW, no matter how poor NSW is playing. Granted, NSW had some luck with low-percentage plays, got a number of helpful calls from Chann...I mean the referees and Queensland had a number of hurt or sick players, but NSW had no right to be in the game at half time and some of the blame for this must lie with Queensland and their close, courageous win culture.

Dumber: NSW’s start to the game. It wasn’t just the errors (some of which we due to excellent Queensland tackling) but more so their whole approach. So flat, so lifeless: where was the urgency? Loose balls fell to Queensland, poor tackling made Queensland’s task much easier and this new combination of New South Welshmen looked about ready to collapse completely. But luckily for them, Queensland wasn’t much better: it was a horrible first half-hour. AFL, if you want the ANZ Stadium, please, take it and keep it for yourself. It is the worst stadium for big games for so many reasons.

Dumberest: NSW looked a real chance to take an unlikely lead late in the game, led by Manly’s brilliant back-rowers Watmough and Stewart. Queensland’s tiredness led to NSW coach Craig Bellamy deciding to put Robbie Farah back into the game with Gidley to play a double dummy half (much like he did with Farah and Wing in Game 1) but in doing this, he substituted Stewart. Not surprisingly, with Stewart went much of NSW’s attacking threat. The Manly back-rowers combine size, speed and intensity in a combination rarely seen in the NRL. Farah was having a poor game and never really worried Queensland; Bellamy basically gave away NSW’s chances to win by replacing Stewart.

Of course, Rugby League is blessed with such *talented* individuals that a Dumb and Dumber Roast could be done almost every week, but one final example of dumbness was seen on a sign at last night’s game: “Bowraville is in NSW you cheat”. That says it all really. See you next week.

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Round 14: Here's One I Prepared Earlier

While St George Illawarra and Newcastle are the only teams yet to have a bye, the Tuesday Roast has also powered through 13 rounds of NRL action without a week to recharge the batteries. So, as the boffins from the Curiosity Show might say, here’s a Roast I prepared earlier. Luckily, it is a highly informative and extremely relevant Roast: an actual transcript of Steve Mortimer on SKY News (Sportsline) on Sunday 7th June and his perspective on Swine Flu. With Benny Elias no longer on television, it doesn’t get much better than this and he is ably assisted by SKY “journalist” Craig Norenbergs. Sit back, relax and enjoy.

Craig Norenbergs (SKY News Host): The State of Origin has been thrown into turmoil with revelations that one of Queensland’s star players has contracted Swine Flu. SKY News has learned that Bulldogs prop Ben Hannant came down with the symptoms last week just after the Origin first game. It’s not known how he caught the Flu, but it has obvious ramifications for the second game due to be played in Sydney next week considering he had contact with players on his team and the opposition.

And joining me now is SKY News Rugby League Expert and former Bulldogs captain Steve Mortimer. G’day Steve, good to see you.

Steve Mortimer: Ohhh ohh… got some tough questions I guess to ask…

CN: Yeh this, this is a difficult one, we’re entering into the kind of area of medcine (sic) here, ahh but obviously Ben Hannant ok, let’s say, the day after the Origin, he came…came down with this thing…

SM: Sure yeh…

CN: What should they do now?

SM: Well look, can I just say I’ve heard read the Swine…about the Swine Flu, I think it is eight hundred and something Victorians have got it and a hundred and something in New South Welshmen and so on, but have we had a death from it at the moment? No ok, well, ok that’s fair enough. Look can I just tell you, I’ve had a flu injection every year…for flu…and even when I was playing in my football career, I’ve played with the flu a number of times and got through the game. Now having said that, and I can understand, I guess, the attention that this might bring, but I’m sure that Ben Hannant and all those eight hundred and seventy four other Victorians in there would have received a vaccine or whatever it might be. Do you think they would have been isolated from their work um workplace? I don’t think so. So look you know, sometimes it’s certainly to be addressed sincerely but sometimes I think it can be overplayed too. It is a Flu, I don’t know about the…all I’ve done is read about it, so I understand your questions but I just think there’s been a lot of footballers that have played with flu and unless I guess the NRL can go to the Medical Institute and say well ‘what are the ramifications?’ or whatever, so be it, but umm I think we just move on.

CN: I guess it comes to what the other players, his opposition players and I guess his team-mates have to say, because it’s actually the connotations of the name ‘Swine Flu’ and…

SM: Yeh…

CN: …what happened obviously in Mexico, people died from it over there but it has a reputation, doesn’t it?

SM: Well that…it does have a…yes, yes and that’s in Mexico and we’ve got to respect that as well, but…and I guess it is Australia, it’s a very serious…I guess…issue to address, but umm I think until the NRL speak with the…the umm…the Australian Medical Institute or whatever the appropriate organisation is and the ramifications, as I said, I read there’s eight hundred-odd Victorians umm maybe getting a vaccination or whatever, but will they be isolated from work? I doubt it very much, so guess what? Rugby League is also a sport and work too for these professional footballers.

CN: Ramifications obviously, with Origin just…just…

SM: Well, very much so, umm I’m just trying to think, has Melbourne sort of come up with this so Origin doesn’t continue? (laughs) I don’t think so, no, but uh look it needs to be treated seriously, but as I said before, if people are dying and falling down in Australia, certainly needs to be addressed even more severely, but yes, we’ve got to show the respect, NRL does that, but quite frankly, Craig, I’ve played with the flu a number of times over my thirteen years playing for the Bulldogs and yes I might have given it to other players, but I took a vaccination and I guess that’s life, you know, so. You know, that’s probably the best answer I can come up with.

In Round 14 action:

* Brisbane was gutsy, but ultimately the Bulldogs were far too good on Friday night. The Bulldogs – and Ben Roberts, in particular – showed the Rugby League World just how much Lockyer is missing Tonie Carroll.

* It was rainy and freezing in Auckland, so you know what that means…yep, a low-scoring Warrior win. Newcastle was unlucky to lose McManus early on, but the Warriors got an early lead and kept Newcastle scoreless.

* The Roosters continued to improve and should have beaten the flat Titans, who struggled after their battle with the Dragons on Monday. Gold Coast had one chance to snatch a late win and the fearless Chris Walker did so by putting put the ball down inches before hitting the corner post.

* It was a large crowd at Penrith and everyone enjoyed their noble efforts, but really, wearing pink on a rugby league field was never going to work. Seriously, Manly put in a very solid effort and had the better of most of this game. Wolfman’s pink beard could never be described as better, but his amazing rundown and try-saving tackle on Lachlan Coote was one for the ages.

* Melbourne outlasted Souths in a shootout in the Wild West. Souths’ effort was much improved, but Melbourne always looked like they could do enough to win the game: a notable achievement for them during the Origin period.

* Canberra and Cronulla battled furiously to see who could make more mistakes. Cronulla looked set to win, but an amazing Canberra fightback saw them steal the victory in the dying minutes. In other words, Canberra really should have won this one, but they failed to kill the gallant Sharks off and 20 minutes of sloppy then tired play allowed Cronulla to win.

* In Wollongong, the Dragons and Cowbores produced one of the games of the season. This was a ferocious battle and the Cowbores threatened to stand up to the Dragons: a rare event this season. Ultimately, the Dragons’ long-range try ability was the main point of difference (with Feral Thurston finally cooling off coming a close second) between the teams.

* Last night, Wests ended their near-five year period of futility against Parramatta. At times it appeared as though there would be more Parramatta success, but the Tigers’ efforts to pressure the Eels’ inexperienced halves into poor play were ultimately pivotal and the Tigers came home strongly for an important win.

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Round 13: Coaches Always Say The Darndest Things…If They Were Allowed To

There are few more difficult occupations than head coach of an NRL team. The long hours, the travel, the (general) struggles to execute plans and strategy on game day as discussed and rehearsed over hours and days on the training field, the rigid salary cap (and how it makes ongoing success very difficult to achieve) are all frustrating enough. Only the very best coaches can overcome this have a genuine shot at early October glory; everyone else has to hope for a relatively well off club to help re-tool the team for next season, and that this re-tooling does not involve the signing of a new coach. Job security is certainly not a reason to get into coaching.

However, there is the possibility of respite for these beleaguered men. They have the opportunity – in theory – several times a week to vent their many frustrations about referees, officials, perceived injustices from various sources, soon-to-be or previous opposition coaches or players, the scheduling of matches….any number of things.

But as we all know, coaches look upon these media commitments with about as much joy as major dental work. They know that media commitments are necessary to give the club (and their sponsors) valuable exposure, but they also know they can’t speak out of line about officials, they can’t speak poorly of a recent or future opponent and that they can’t do anything but praise individual players on their team.

The result: cliché filled, monotonous, cue-it-up-and-play-it-again, 7-second sound bites from some of the sharper minds in the game (with the possible exception of Brad Fittler).

How interesting, how entertaining could NRL press conferences be if coaches always said what they felt? Well, this week’s Tuesday Roast will attempt to provide something of a snapshot into the minds of a number of coaches after the just-completed round of matches.

“Geez, I don’t know how we butchered that game tonight. Even though we gave them stacks of ball in the first half, we were still in it then we dominated but could only get one try (and even that was dodgy as). Then we just capitulated against them like we did last time. Tuiaki, what on earth was he thinking going for that intercept? But it’s all good. We’re bad at winning 50/50 games, we haven’t made the finals since 2005, yet you all love me, neutrals love watching us and my job is safe. Cheers!” Tim Sheens, Coach Wests Tigers

The first of an intriguing round of NRL was at Leichhardt on Friday where Penrith took on the Tigers. Penrith have dominated the Tigers over many years, but the absence of Michael Jennings and Jarrod Sammut – as well as the Tigers desperately needing a win to keep in touch with the top 8 – meant a very even first 70 minutes.

Ultimately, the game was won by Penrith’s ability to absorb sustained Tigers pressure then respond similarly (which seemed to surprise the Tigers). The absence of Jennings and Sammut meant Penrith found it a little difficult to cash in on a number of Tigers errors in the first half, but Penrith’s desperate defence (especially two try-saving tackles by Elford) was pivotal. On the back of this, players such as Aiton, Waterhouse, Tighe and Luke Walsh willed Penrith down the field time and time again in the final 10 minutes, where 3 late tries saw the scoreline blowout.

A final word: has the video referee pendulum started to swing in the other direction after the Jarryd Hayne no-try from last Wednesday night? Robbie Farah’s try in this game was given despite massive doubt: Benji Marshall’s last-tackle desperation pass to Farah probably belonged at the SFS on Saturday night. His right arm or the ball may not have touched the ground before the pass to Farah, but his left arm – which assisted the pass to Farah – was definitely on the ground. Nevertheless, the try was allowed. Was this the start of a ‘benefit of the doubt’ plague? Or was it once again the continued application of an extremely pedantic view of the rules? It could argued that both of these have an element of truth to them, but the awarding of some dubious tries in this game and in the Monday night game suggests ‘ohhhh just give the damn TRY!’ brigade will be happier in coming weeks.

“Geez that was easy. Like I said, at the end of the day, when Locky’s not playing, again youse know you’re basically certainties against Brisbane. And we even did it with our main forwards all starting off the bench. Even though Wayne has gone, like I said, that one was sa-weet.” Craig Bellamy, Coach Melbourne Storm

It was a Storm win from the 2006-2008 era in the other Friday game. Most impressive perhaps was the display of Storm depth, especially in the forwards, but also with the impressive young reserve winger Joseph Tomane. But the fragility of Brisbane was somewhat alarming. Lockyer, of course, is a big loss for Brisbane, but they still had the NSW halfback and most of their available forwards, yet Melbourne thrashed them. The cross-kick to Folau does not solve everything…

“Finally – FINALLY – the boys pulled their finger out and played something like how they can! I suppose at least it didn’t come after I got the sack, small consolation I guess, but geez guys, might have been nice if you showed some signs of it a few months ago! Surely they didn’t just play like that because Big Artie’s here? Even though we lost by 20, Manly was pretty scared there for a while, so yeh hopefully we can do this a bit more often and scare some more good teams, but seriously I won’t be holding my breath.” Brad Fittler, Coach Sydney Roosters

This game looked like being a fairly routine Manly win until the Roosters burst out of their six-week torpor and made this a very competitive game. Manly realised they were in a game (when perhaps they weren’t expecting to be) but it was a rare situation for them this season: they were in a contest with a team many expected them to defeat easily. They found this task to be fairly difficult and if it wasn’t for some fortunate plays (the loose ball bouncing to Wolfman, some dubious penalties and Matt Awful actually executing several kicks as he intended), the Roosters could very well have won the game.

They certainly deserved a better outcome than to lose by 20, as they provided some of the more entertaining tries seen this season. They put on two tries involving long runs, some deft passing but most importantly an attitude to attack wherever possible. Shaun Kenny-Dowall was a consistent threat down the left; his body shape is not dissimilar to Greg Inglis and occasionally he makes a play which reminds you of Inglis.

This shows how even the NRL is: even the team running last has players more than capable of making excellent plays. The Roosters might even threaten the Dragon-killing Gold Coast this coming weekend, especially if injuries/illness significantly affect the Titan line-up.

“Just wanted to say to all my critics – where are you now? Thought it was a bit quiet in here. If any of them were here, they might say I’m riding JT’s coattails, but you’d have to be blind to not see how much better everyone in the team is playing. I don’t want to jinx us but we are SSSSSSMOKINGGGG right now!” Neil Henry, Coach North Queensland Cowbores

The winning run of North Queensland continued on Saturday night when they thrashed Souths. This game had a number of potential danger signals for the Cowbores: after a few very good games, it is difficult for any team to maintain a good run in the NRL (especially during representative season), also Souths has been a bogey team of the Cowbores the last few seasons and they have performed quite well against good teams this season.

But another Souths trait has been poor play when backing up 5 days after their past game and this continued on Saturday night. Meanwhile, the Cowbores’ great run continued. Feral Thurston was once again at his best, O’Donnell was also very good and their unsung forward heroes (Tronc, Bolton, Payne etc) continued their excellent form. After a slow start, the Cowbores are perhaps the best team at the moment: Neil Henry is not usually prone to public shows of emotion, but he must be tempted to unleash on those who attacked his coaching in recent months.

“Coaching the Warriors has to be the hardest job in the NRL, luckily I am a man of infinite patience (this must be why my contract was extended last week, surely it can’t be for my performance). I’ve got no idea when the boys are going to turn up. We only hammered home the importance of this game ALL WEEK LONG and that Cronulla would be desperate after having crapped the bed at home since Round 2, but still we put in that pathetic excuse of an effort in the first 20 minutes and basically cost ourselves the game. The second half was great; I reckon we would have come back against a number of other teams but Cronulla wanted it too much, well done to them. But who knows how we’re going to play against Newcastle. We might fire up, we might not. I have no idea.” Ivan Cleary, Coach New Zealand Warriors

It probably wasn’t a surprise that Cronulla started strongly against the Warriors, but it was something of a surprise that Cronulla looked vaguely like a team that knew how to score tries (after not doing so all season) and that the also-desperate Warriors did not also start strongly. There was an element of luck to Cronulla’s first two tries but they fully deserved their 18-nil lead; their play was open and positive, which suited the good conditions and the (relatively) large crowd of locals.

The game started to turn around from about the half hour mark, due to the Warriors realising the extent of their problems and Cronulla not having led anyone by 18 points in the first half since John Lang coached them. Cronulla’s increasingly inexperienced team made this lack of familiarity with their wonderful situation even worse. The increasingly maligned Stacey Jones played his best game since returning to the NRL and, in doing so, lifted the Warriors almost single-handedly back into the game (although Steve Price’s effort to play almost the whole game after Origin cannot go unmentioned).

The Warriors have long been a threat to comeback on sunny afternoons away from home after conceding a big lead, but Cronulla’s enthusiasm and effort in defence proved too much and they ultimately triumphed in a highly entertaining game. The ship has almost sailed on the Warriors’ annual second-half surge but the arrival of Newcastle to Auckland next Friday night could be the challenge they need to resuscitate their season. Meanwhile, Cronulla could be a f#$%^ good chance at playing spoiler for much higher teams from now on if they can reproduce this effort.

“Everyone will accuse me of talking our team down by me saying this, but it’s true, go and look and the scores, ladder positions at the time and the match reports: people say we’re a good chance to win the comp, but we can’t string two good games together. I love our team (I should, I put it together) so I reckon we’re going to start with a run of consistency soon, but it’s pretty annoying. Parra tried hard, but if we’re near our best, Parra aren’t close to us. I guess I got a bit arrogant by not starting De Gois or Hilder and resting Simpson and that might have given Parra the confidence boost to start the game they needed to get them over us, but still…disappointing. We were so bad I can’t even seriously blame the various refereeing mistakes that went against us – now that’s saying something.” Brian Smith, Coach Newcastle Knights

While the conspiracy theorists might suggest that the Newcastle – Parramatta fixture was ‘manipulated’ by Channel 9 to ensure a close contest and hence improve ratings, in hindsight a close game between these teams should not have been a surprise. Newcastle – for some reason – continued their streak of unusually poor play in odd-numbered rounds, while Parramatta’s ‘off-on’ habit which started in Round 8 was seen again (impressive efforts against North Queensland, Souths and Newcastle were interspersed with poor play against Manly and Cronulla).

Despite the wildly divergent performances by these teams, this was another very entertaining game. Parramatta’s great play went largely unrewarded for much of the game, which kept the struggling Knights in with a shot. Finally, more Parramatta attacking enterprise was rewarded (albeit with a perhaps dubious penalty) before the victory was sealed by second-gamer Mortimer’s chip kick and subsequent regather.

Interestingly, the NRL clubs faring worst on the ladder have all responded with much improved efforts in recent weeks. Unfortunately for Parramatta, their next opponent is the team due to experience a turnaround (if the trend continues), the Wests Tigers. In addition, Parramatta’s ‘off-on’ habit might come into play, as they haven’t lost to the Tigers since about 1975: complacency could make an appearance next Monday night. But speaking as a many times scarred Tigers supporter, I’ll believe this when I see it.

“Just quietly, we had this game circled on the calendar for a while, especially after they bashed us up in Wollongong earlier in the year and I’m stoked we dominated such a highly regarded forward pack (even though they were missing a few important guys). But most importantly, ever since I had a cry about the refs a few weeks back, now we’re getting most of the 50/50 calls. The system works!” John Cartwright, Coach Gold Coast Titans

It would not be a surprise if the swine flu uncertainty leading up to last night’s game is how this game will be remembered in the months and years to come, but it would also be unfortunate, since this was probably one of the more significant games in the (short) history of the Titans. On occasion, their forward pack and their intensity across the park has been at a high level, but in general, their reputation as a soft-ish team is well deserved.

However, the line was clearly drawn in the sand before last night’s game: the Titans had had enough. Enough of being called soft. Enough of losing to the Dragons (this feeling was no doubt strengthened with the sight of several thousand Dragons supporters – including the GST guy – at one end of the ground). Enough of being flashy and not the bully. The Titans’ first 25 minutes or so was not only one of the more dominant displays in recent years, but one of the most unbelievable (given that it took place against the previously stingy Dragons’ defence). They dominated almost every contest, which meant fast play-the-balls, a retreating defence and hence a great platform for the Titans’ attack.

That said, the Titans were somewhat lucky, with some fortuitous bounces from kicks as well as receiving the benefit of what looked to be a massive doubt (and also with the Dragons being denied what would have been the game’s first try for what looked to be a dubious penalty). But they were by far the better team and thoroughly deserved their 22-2 half-time lead.

The Dragons did just enough to stay in the game and made the most of a tiring/injured opposition and some dubious refereeing calls to come back into the game, although they always looked like being a little short of time. In the end, despite their best efforts, the Dragons had only one play to win the game and that came following a kick-off.

It was a great comeback for a team regarded as having a fairly barren attack, but the Titans’ efforts to almost demolish the Dragons in the first half and then hold on amidst a growing injury toll deserved the most praise.

That ends this week’s Roast. With any luck, we will see some press conferences similar to the fictional ones described above; perhaps the coaches can blame Swine Flu (and light-headedness) for any irrational outbursts! See you next week.

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