“This is Brown, he beats one! He’s got the fullback to beat! Good stop, try saving tackle from Coote! He came up trumps…” Jason Costigan commentating Warriors v Panthers on Sunday
Round 6 of the NRL in 2010 had to largely make do with a bad hand as a number of teams struggled after tough Round 5 games and/or a mounting injury toll, but ended on a high after a surprise ace up its sleeve (in the form of another intriguing chapter in the Melbourne-Manly rivalry).
Friday night’s action kicked off with the Tigers in a heads-up battle against the Bulldogs. The Tigers must have felt they were up against a stacked deck; they were missing a number of key players while the ante had been raised for the Bulldogs after their slow start to the season.
A strong start for the Bulldogs and a high Tigers error count made the Tigers’ task that much more difficult; surely if the Bulldogs played their cards right, they would win this one easily. The final score was a fairly wide margin of 20 points but it was a very determined effort from the Tigers when the chips were down: the margin was only 8 points with 7 minutes left.
The second Friday game saw the short-handed Dragons travel to the Gold Coast to take on the Titans. The Titans were coming off an amazing win over Melbourne last week, but even their most ardent supporter would admit they were hit by the deck and sucked out (to an extent) to get the win. When the dealer turned over a 12-point deficit for the Titans early in the second half, the task for them to follow suit and come back again this week was just too tough. It was a very impressive effort from the Dragons; their typically solid, structured performance produced in spades.
Saturday’s action kicked off in Newcastle, where the more-boring-than-normal Cowbores came to town. It was painfully obvious from very early on in this game that the Cowbores were not playing with a full deck: the absence of Feral Thurston, Payne and Nutjob O’Donnell, plus the presence of Ty Williams, meant the Cowbores were taking 2 club-7 spade into battle against Newcastle’s pocket Kings.
But the flop was crazy: 7-4-5 all clubs and somehow the Cowbores were back in the game. However, the turn brought a third King (in the form of Cooper Vuna making a set of tries) and a blank on the river meant the Knights held on for the win.
The final Saturday game saw Canberra travel to Sydney to take on the Roosters. Canberra successfully called Parramatta’s pathetic bluff on the previous Monday night and took a strong hand to the showdown, so much so that they were given a solid chance to make it two wins in a row. But the Roosters were due for a win and their strong effort was helped by a high Canberra error count.
Canberra coach David Furner would no doubt have called a spade a spade at half time, but the Roosters ace in the hole Todd Carney killed his former team. He kept his cards close to his chest after being vociferously booed by Canberra supporters before his first conversion attempt, but he would no doubt have been extremely happy to have performed so well against his former team.
Sunday’s early game was in Auckland, where Penrith travelled to meet the home side. The Warriors had enjoyed a string of wins or impressive close losses so far this season, despite having to shuffle their deck fairly often due to injury, so it was perhaps not a surprise they came up well behind when the cards were put on the table here: they were probably due for a stinker. In contrast, Penrith played their cards right and this worked in spades when confronted by the Warriors’ poor performance. They led 22-nil before the Warriors sat down at the table and won convincingly in the end.
Next up, it was the perhaps-permanently-short-handed Cronulla up against Brisbane. This would have been a top-shelf match-up not even two seasons ago, but the quality of both teams has since been lost in the shuffle. After a few tough weeks, the return of several aces in the form of Folau and Parker, as well as renewed confidence, meant a crushing win for the Broncos.
The final Sunday game saw Parramatta take on Souths. The Rabbitohs were playing with far from a full deck, especially in the forwards, but it once again emerged in this game that their greatest weakness is in their head. They were hit by the deck early on and should have had a convincing lead against the struggling Eels, but when Parramatta upped the ante late in the first half, Souths’ structure proved to be a house of cards. The main culprit here had to be Rhys Wesser, who made a number of fundamental errors in the first half and gifted Luke Burt an easy try after a pathetic effort to chase down a long kick early in the second half.
This game received considerable media attention after a high number of penalties against both teams forced the referees’ hand. The sin-bin bubble was broken first by Cayless, then the other referee followed suit as Champion joined Parramatta’s co-captain. But no attention was given to Daniel Mortimer’s two ‘dog acts’ (pun intended): his failure to own up to committing the offence which was incorrectly attributed to Cayless followed by his dangerous ‘attempt’ to compete for the high bomb, which could have injured the Souths winger. These were hardly surprises though; there is little doubt his father and uncles were involved in far worse than this.
Lastly, Monday night saw Melbourne take on Manly. These teams have been involved in a number of high-stakes battles since 2006, but Melbourne clearly suffered from their taxing game on the Gold Coast last week and failed to bring their A-game in the first 20 minutes after they sat down at the table. In this time, Manly jumped to a 16-nil lead. Manly’s forward pack often comes up trumps, but their ace in the hole this season might just be their new halfback Trent Hodkinson. His demeanour, solid defence and direct running are in impressive contrast to their declining halfback of previous years Matt Orford. While no-one outside of the northern beaches wants Manly to do well, it would be quite funny if the last two teams Orford left (2005 Melbourne and 2009 Manly) went on to have far better years after he left.
Melbourne battled back into the game with a short stack, but their game suffered due to Manly’s trump cards i.e. their ability to anticipate Melbourne’s pet plays and make them work harder than normal to score points. Melbourne had opportunities, but never seriously looked like winning here. Manly’s coach Des Hasler kept a poker face in the post-game press conference, but he would have been delighted at how well his team fared against the premiership favourites.
Until next time, may all your cards be live and your pots be monsters! See you next week.
Tuesday, 20 April 2010
Round 6: Brought to you by PokerStars, Full Tilt Poker, TAB Sportsbet, Centrebet, Sportingbet, Betfair etc. etc. etc….
Tuesday, 13 April 2010
Round 5: Welcome to the Whingeing Pom
In this week’s Roast, respect is paid to the English contribution to our game. Rugby League was born in England just over 100 years ago and it lives on there today. Despite the Super League in the UK being played at a generally lower and less intense standard than the NRL, most English teams enjoy a more loyal and passionate supporter following than their Australian counterparts.
As a tribute to this passion, let’s give a generous Aussie welcome to the newest Tuesday Roast correspondent simply known as Whingeing Pom. I met up with Whingeing Pom at the Oaks in Neutral Bay to dissect the Round 5 NRL action. So sit back, relax, lie back and think of England and enjoy.
“So Pommy, it was another interesting round of NRL over the weekend, although I sense you were not entirely happy with everything that went on?”
“Ohhh you’re not kidding there laddy! I dunno what it is about the NRL but it makes me right peed off, week in and week out like! For starters, that bloomin ol’ geezer Ray Warren. I know he’s an institution down under but bloomin heck, there’s no need to be giving away the score of the delayed game while the live game’s still showin!”
“But he didn’t say the score, Pommy, all he said was that the Gold Coast v Melbourne game was going to be a nail-biter. Nothing wrong with that is there?”
“Don’t be daft laddy! Only a nutter wouldn’t know based on that sorta comment that one team jumps out to a big lead only for the other team to coom baak strong-le! Although I must admit to aving a bit of a kip in the late going of the Dragons Broncos game as the Dragons cruised to the win, I guess I can oonderstand what e was doing like, tryin to men-ten interest. Boot still, very bloomin annoyin especially as I had a tenner on the Storm to win by 13 ploos into the Warriors and Raiders. I tell you, they urd me cursin’ ‘a’f a block away last night when Canberra got the win!”
“I feel your pain, Pommy, it could only have gotten worse when you saw the unlikely nature of the Melbourne loss?”
“Ohhhhh too right son, bloomin eck, if sum git told me the Storm would lead by 12 at half-time and go on to lose, I’d inquire if they’d taken a massive blow to the bollocks you know? And not just a blown lead, but that taam-wasting penalty: I must have missed the Olympic swimming watch that was showing in the stadium there like to tell everyone when those 40 blinking seconds were up! What a bloomin farce that was!”
“Alright mate, calm down. Souths and Newcastle, now there was a game which went pretty much as expected, a strong win for Souths. Isaac Luke with another great game. You can’t have had too many problems this game, old mate?”
“You know what son? I had to listen to most of this game on the radio. The plan was to meet oop at Jim’s place at Pymble, get a few chip butties and pints into us then watch the game. Bugger me tho if it doesn’t make an hour and a ‘a’f to get there from Cammeray tho! Jim told me it only takes 45 to an hour, bloomin blagger e is. I still erd the first 20 minutes on the radio, but you know it’s just not the same innit? Happy for Souths and yung Burgess like but that bloomin traffic…”
“Never mind, Pommy, you didn’t miss all that much. There was plenty of action in the late Saturday games, the exciting Tigers and Warriors both getting up for good wins.”
“Well you know, I was confident about the Cowboys’ chances (joost quiet-le, I still feel a bit uncomfortable tipping the Cowboys tho, sounds like a bit of a…you know…doe-noe if I should say this….a boom bandit name if you ask me) but of course they went out the window when Thurston got urt. Still, it’s surprisin how many teams play better – and how many teams let their guard down – when a big-name player gets urt, I thought the Cowboys still ad a shot like. But then that absolute blooming git O’Donnell threw the game away for them. What an absolute bloomin twat he was! He’s supposed to be an experienced player, then in no time at all, he gives away three penalties and gets himself sin-binned. The gobsh!te was lucky he didn’t get sent off! That was the game then and there like. Well doon, Tigers, another solid game from Gareth Ellis, started off by kneein Thurston in the bollocks to slow him down soom, but despite loosin a tooth and breaking his nose, he was my Man of the Match. Mug of the Match of course to that muppet O’Donnell”
“Not sure too many disagree with you there, Pommy, what did you make of the Warriors’ win?”
“Well as I said before, I thought the Warriors were a great chance in this one, I had them in my original weekend moolti with Storm 13+ and Canberra, but once the Storm lost, I changed tack soomwhat. I took separate mooltis with Bulldogs to win by 1-6 points and total match score between 41 and 50 points. Anyway, the first one looked in danger as the Warriors threw the ball round and led by 12, but I was happy seein the points on the board y’know? Even more so when the Dogs came back and woiped out the lead. For woonce, look was turning my way – or so it seemed. Booger me if that bloomin pillock Kimmorley somehow misses that easy field goal that woulda won the game! I swear he has something against me. It started with my 6-leg multi in 2005 which had Buderus as last try-scorer in Origin woon. Every bloomin extra time ends in a field goal except this woon, when bloomin Kimmorley picked out Matt Bowen perfectly with that intercept pass and Bowen gets last try instead. Cost me $1000 that day he did! Then the Warriors roob salt in my open wound with that late break, kick ahead that Luke Patten foombled and Hohaia scored. I couldn’t Adam and Eve it y’know?!”
“I’m beginning to understand the origin of your name, Pommy. How about Sunday’s action, any thoughts there?”
“Manly polished off the Sharks quite naarsley, an easy win there. What really got my goat about Sunday afternoon though was this was supposed to be an improved Brookvale Oval. Cronulla might have got belted by Manly, but at least they’ve ad soobstantial Government foonds to upgrade their ground. Brookvale is still roobish, little more than a park football ground! I guess that’s what happens when the entire Northern Beaches all vote Liberal at every election!”
“Yep ok, it’s probably best if we don’t hear your political views for everyone’s sake. How about the late game, any views on the resurgent Panthers?”
“No…..joost kiddin hahaha of course I have a view you silly git! Caught some of this game, Penrith looked quite impressive, but the Roosters looked lethargic. I know they’re a yoong team but all these games in the heat have taken their toll. But credit to Penrith for executin their game plan and tiring the Roosters out. I also noticed yoong Coote had a big game and received quite soom recognition for it. Not sure what all the foos was about though, he made a few nice plays, threw a fluky flick pass…not much really. Especially when Penrith had a much better young fullback in Jarrod Sammut. Yoong Sammut was faster, more athletic, a better kicker, more skilful and more confident than Coote….and doesn’t look like he’s 12 years old either! And Penrith had to let Sammut go to Old Blighty to get a game! I moost admit to wondering if Coote’s dad is on Penrith’s committee or something – how else can such an oonspeckTACKular player be so highly thought of?? I just don’t get it.”
“Fair point there Pommy, how about Coote getting man of the match in his debut when he dropped a number of bombs and missed all 4 shots at goal? It was a greater case of missing the obvious than Cronulla with Albert Kelly! Last game was last night and Parramatta and Canberra. Your take Pommy?”
“Well the obvious target in this game was that absolute blagger Mateo. What a lazy sod he is! But Parramatta really shouldn’t be surprised, they were always going to miss Todd Lowrie. Put it this way, Melbourne doesn’t go after dud buys, let me tell you. But what really got my goat was that so-called try to Ben Smith. I know it’s in the rules that he didn’t play at the ball with his torso but it’s joost not right like. Lookily Canberra got the win they deserved but the Smith no-try try could have swoong the game y’know? How embarrassin would it be if a try like that won some team a grand final? Cor blimey!”
On that note, tally-ho….I mean see you next week.
Tuesday, 6 April 2010
Round 4: Easter Eggs
As a special treat, this week’s Roast will be an 8-pack of Easter Eggs. Instead of being chocolate, these Eggs are of the metaphorical variety, but this doesn’t mean they will be any less satisfying as they contain tasty discussion of many of the key issues in the NRL. Another key difference here is that these Eggs are easily found – unless you looked for them on Tuesday that is (sorry guys).
Hornby retires from representative Rugby League – is he serious?!
On Good Friday morning, when most League supporters were looking forward to analysis and prediction of the clash of the best two teams (by some margin) so far this season, the news of Ben Hornby’s decision to make himself unavailable for the season’s representative fixtures instead took up column inches. While frustration would have been ultimately felt at breakfast tables across Australia as this piece of irrelevance was made public, the first reaction had to have been one of hilarity.
Put simply, has a player with less hope of making representative games ever announced his retirement from them? Perhaps delusions of adequacy swept through Hornby as a flash-in-the-pan Brett Kimmorley returned to State of Origin aged 75 last season and made Hornby think he was a chance again. Or maybe Hornby got concussion after falling on his ribs in scoring the season’s opening try at Parramatta. Admittedly, Hornby might have been a chance of selection in the City-Country game, but if such a pointless selection happened, he could have done what Matt Cooper, Eric Grothe, El Masri and several others do (or did) year-in and year-out: make up a minor injury and miss the game.
After the Dragons were soundly beaten by Melbourne on Friday afternoon, it would not have been surprising if it was reported many of their players wished they’d used a similar excuse before this game. While the score-line was often close, Melbourne was well in control for most of the game. Quite frankly, the Dragons should have been embarrassed they couldn’t produce somewhere near their normal level of play when it was needed, and that they looked largely ineffective when they fell behind and rarely threatened the Storm try-line.
For Melbourne on the other hand, Friday was further confirmation how far ahead of the rest of the NRL they are. They struggled at times, although were never seriously threatened, through the first 3 weeks against some mediocre opposition, but when a test loomed, they lifted strongly and executed their game plan almost flawlessly, despite missing a number of highly regarded players.
While Melbourne would have been ecstatic at their performance, much of the media experienced a similar reaction, especially after Billy Slater’s late try and Cooper Cronk’s pass to Slater. Unfortunately, it should not have been a try as Cronk’s pass was noticeably forward to all not in purple or in possession of a Channel 9 media pass. It is understandable why so many chose to overlook the forward pass; this game, while being very well played, was hardly “exciting” for the layperson. But that doesn’t make it right.
Carney’s resurrection continues, but should it be happening with the Roosters?
Unfortunately for the purposes of the above headline and its pun value, the Roosters Broncos game did not take place on Easter Sunday. Of course, this did not mean that Todd Carney’s “resurrection” couldn’t continue. It was another stellar performance from Carney as the Roosters accounted for the struggling Broncos fairly comfortably; Canberra can only have wished they had a halfback an eighth as good as Carney.
With Greg Bird making a similarly strong impression with a new club after a period out of the game for bad behaviour, the question is being increasingly asked whether troubled but highly talented players should be sacked from their club. In such a close competition, Carney and Bird are pivotal players, as the form of Cronulla and Canberra since these players departed indicates. It can be a fine line between satisfying season ticket-holders and sponsors and maximising the chances of winning games; perhaps Carney and Bird would not ever have been able to rehabilitate with their previous club? If so, perhaps compensation from the club to benefit from a rehabilitated star player is needed? You’d like to think rugby league’s crackdown on bad behaviour will mean such questions do not again need to be considered, but it would be naïve to think five years’ worth of vigilance will change an entire culture.
Sharks’ signing Smith shows his true colours
Saturday night’s first game was not one for the archives. One team couldn’t care less, the other team….just couldn’t (for the most part). Throw in the rain and it was probably a surprise the combined score for the game reached 11.
But the game was memorable for Tim Smith’s contributions. He struggled to make much of an impact in general play (although his relatively unknown goal-kicking talents were pressed into service after a season-ending injury to Luke Covell) but he showed he will feel right at home in the Shire. Firstly, a cut meant he had to change his jersey during the game. This normally leads to wolf-whistles from the female part of the crowd, but a Southern Cross tattoo across Smith’s back caught the eyes of the local male redneck population.
Secondly, Smith’s post-game quote to the media (referring to his first-half head clash and its effect on his memory) warmed the cockles (cock…tee hee) of many a Shire yokel’s heart: “I can’t really remember hardly anything”
Cronulla will probably still finish towards the bottom of the ladder this season, even with the signing of Smith, but at least they will be more interesting.
Cowbores try something less boring and (shock horror) become a revitalised team!
A combination of injury and poor form meant the Cowbores had to make a number of changes for their important match against the Gold Coast on Saturday night. Each new player – Shannon Gallant, Ray Thompson and Will Tupou – was making his first grade debut for the Cowbores and for Thompson and Tupou, it was their first grade debut for any club. The exit of Ty Williams, Michael Bani and Grant Rovelli from first grade meant a sizeable void in experience – but would the youthful enthusiasm more than offset this?
The answer was a resounding YES. Gallant was a star in rare appearances for the Tigers in recent years but somehow found himself stuck behind Williams in the full-back pecking order for the Cowbores, despite Williams being able to time his 40m sprint using a calendar. Even more perplexing for the Cowbores is that Gallant plays a lot like their injured star full-back Matt Bowen. FOX’s Andy Raymond reached new heights of on-air diplomacy when he stated “I think Shannon Gallant is a little more in the mould of Matty Bowen than Ty Williams is, with the greatest of respect to Williams of course”. It was hardly surprising that Gallant had an excellent game; hopefully he has a big one this week against the Tigers who stupidly released him late last year.
But Thompson and Tupou also enjoyed very solid debuts. Thompson’s neat no-look flick pass leading to the Cowbores’ first try was almost Benji-like. Rovelli wouldn’t be able to replicate such a pass in 1000 attempts. It was the start of a very confident opening game. Meanwhile, Tupou defended in the Cowbores’ sieve-like right-side defence and was asked to defend in the centre position (despite being a winger) so Williams’ partner-in-slime Ashley Graham could defend on the wing. Amazing! The Cowbores’ right-side defence was much improved.
With much of their dead wood gone, the Cowbores recorded an easy win over the Titans. Who knows how many more talented youngsters from the far north are in the Cowbores’ extremely boring system? This team could be anything as long as Feral Thurston hangs around.
Manly finally shrug off the curse of the penalties
In their first three rounds, the large and somewhat immobile Manly side suffered more so than most when on the receiving end of a number of penalties. While they were far from perfect in a number of areas in their 14-6 win over the Warriors, Manly would have been much happier that a series of penalties to their opposition did not result in a number of tries being conceded. This is especially so given that they had to endure 10 minutes with one less player than the Warriors.
This was one of the better games of the weekend, despite the high number of errors. Both teams are playing quite well and are above the pre-season expectations of many.
(Rampant Raiders + Terrible/Tremendous Tigers) * Sunday Afternoon = Entertainment Plus
It became apparent quite soon into Sunday afternoon’s game at Canberra Stadium that the home team was in a rare mood. This happens every so often (more so usually against high-flying opposition and/or when the Raiders are not expected to win) but when it does, it is almost always a large Canberra win. Rampaging forward runs, crisp ball movement, excellent play-making and strong defence mean field position for whoever is unlucky enough to be Canberra’s opposition is almost impossible to get. Usually, when Canberra cools off, the game is well out of reach.
It almost happened here – on several occasions – but the Tigers did just enough to stay in the game (and received enough good fortune to stay in the game), but once they realised they weren’t out of the game and started to turn around Canberra’s possession advantage, they stormed back into the game. Farah’s decision to throw the long pass deep in the Tigers territory paid off massively (although there was a huge amount in Croker’s knock-down bouncing nicely into Farah’s hands); this made it only 22-10 but it was the turning point. Campese’s unfortunate penalty goal attempt into the post was also very unlucky, but a standard miss or make probably would only have been a small hindrance to the Tigers’ momentum.
In the end, the score-line blew out late; the Tigers were certainly not 13 points better than Canberra, but it was another great game. Not just a comeback, but a well-played game. Phil Gould sounds like a broken record with his love for Sunday afternoons, but there is no doubt games are of a higher quality in natural light and (usually) dry conditions.
Newcastle and Penrith in Easter Monday battle of dumb play
On Monday afternoon, it was another huge comeback, but not nearly the same quality of play. Newcastle dominated the first 20 minutes but failed to score and Penrith took a surprise lead. Newcastle then posted 4 tries as Penrith made a large number of mistakes (errors and dumb penalties conceded) to give Newcastle much possession.
Newcastle’s 18 point half-time lead was then frittered away as routine attacking kicks by Penrith were blundered by Newcastle. MacDonnell’s dropped bomb fell right to Michael Jennings who ran for the corner. A “nothing” mid-field kick led to another set of 6 tackles and then a try, before a Walsh grubber which appeared to be rolling across the dead ball line was ignored by 2 Newcastle defenders and set upon by Luke Lewis. In this time, it was Newcastle’s turn to give away dumb penalties.
Newcastle recaptured the lead when Jarrod Mullen showed Lewis his show-and-go scrum move for at least the fourth time, but Lewis allowed Mullen past him for the easy try. Penrith equalised again when Paulo was the only player to compete for the in-goal bomb kick.
Newcastle’s Scott Dureau almost gave his team back the lead with a brilliant field goal, but before this Penrith ignored several good field goal chances after questionable options by their hooker Iosefa (why was the more reliable Kingston not playing at such a crucial time??). Finally, the tiring Knights could not halt the dummy half runs of Penrith and a rare piece of smart play by former Knight Walsh put Purtell over the match-winning try.
Much drama, a big comeback, some great try-finishing plays, but much dumb play too. Overall, this was a low-quality affair. This is probably a tad harsh; it is only Round 4 after all. If this sort of game happens in Round 24 and both teams are well in finals contention, then there might be more of a problem.
Battle of the HYPED as Souths thrashes the Bulldogs
It took four rounds, but Souths finally displayed something near their potential as they easily disposed of the (briefly) high-flying Bulldogs. The much-hyped Sam Burgess – with Mum cheering him on from Russel Crowe’s box – scored two tries and led the Souths forward pack to a huge win over the short-handed but thoroughly out-played Bulldogs pack.
But one of Souths’ less hyped players also had a very good game – part of his stellar start to the season. What’s more, Beau Champion’s excellent game came against the increasingly favoured selection for the NSW left centre position in State of Origin, Josh Morris.
Of course, part of Champion’s success came due to being set up by John Sutton. The fake-tanned Burgess, Dave Taylor, Asotasi, Crocker will likely continue to command much of the media attention, but Souths’ fortunes will probably be determined more by the performances of Sutton, Sandow and lesser-known players like Champion.
See you next week.
Tuesday, 30 March 2010
Round 3: Show Us Ya Bags!
Instead of the typical dry and boring discussion about last weekend’s events in Rugby League, this week’s Tuesday Roast will instead play the role of Easter long weekend news reporter with a look at the best of this year’s Easter Show Showbags.
The traditional trip to the Easter Show can often end in traditional pain for Mum and Dad’s bank balance! But this needn’t be the case. There are a number of showbags on offer this year which are all the rage for the kids but won’t require the parents to take out a second mortgage!
One of the coolest showbags is the Wests Tigers bag. This perennial favourite of the kids and aging, cynical former Roosters and NSW Origin coaches alike dazzles the eyes and captivates the mind. Better yet, for the mums who don’t like their kids’ (or husbands’!) rugby league interest seemingly going for 10 months a year, this bag rarely if ever functions after the end of August.
But beware though, the toys in this bag only function under perfect conditions or if they haven’t functioned in quite a while. They can be quite temperamental. Still, they’re great value (especially if used on a Sunday afternoon): a solid B- for the Wests Tigers bag.
The Tigers bounced back remarkably well on Friday night against Parramatta. It was an excellent mix of their typical flashy attack, domination of possession, robust defence against a team who traditionally dominates them just five days after being roasted by the Roosters two Sundays ago. With that said though, Parramatta disappointed again. They traditionally start slowly, but a year and a half of the more intense Daniel Anderson coaching them has failed to eliminate this annoying (for their supporters) characteristic. They are in need a match where they are expected to struggle and lose, so as to jump-start their motivation. Cronulla is exactly not what they need, it could be an interesting game in the Shire on Saturday afternoon.
While many of the kids love the Tigers bag, it doesn’t have the tradition and appeal to kids of all ages like the Dragons bag does. Despite a takeover of Illawarra bag in 1999, this bag continues to enjoy the mass appeal it gained in the 1950s and 1960s. For most of the last few decades, it had some of the better, more highly regarded toys in all the bags…but their reliability under pressure proved to be insufficient. Their recent re-branding as a more low-budget bag but with a greater emphasis on reliability and consistency didn’t quite pay off last year, but early previews of this year’s bag promise greater progress towards this goal. This could be one of the bags of 2010: an A- for the Dragons bag.
Round 3 saw another suffocating win for the Dragons. The victim this time was the Cowbores, who had a fairly good excuse for their sleep-inducing play. The Dragons again jumped to an early lead, again relied heavily on their left side for attack and again failed to let their opponent anywhere near a comeback. The two best teams so far will play tomorrow afternoon in Melbourne, and while these very efficient teams could produce a low-scoring, disciplined affair, it will almost certainly be the best-played game of the season to date.
Another popular bag this year will be the Penrith Panthers bag. While often a bag of questionable quality, it often seems to have a certain likeable-ness to it, which means it enjoys solid levels of support in Sydney’s west year in and year out. This year’s edition has some highly sought-after toys: everyone wants a Civoniceva even though it’s been around for years, while local products Lewis and Waterhouse are in their peak years. However, this year’s edition is also quite fragile; Waterhouse and the very temperamental Pritchard can give way at any time, while their instructions seem to be written in Swahili: no one quite knows how they work. Success seems possible for the Panthers, but probably not: a C+ for them.
Penrith was not far away from a win on Saturday night and they had their chances to really threaten an unusually error-prone opposition, but in the end, it was another just-enough win for Melbourne. Penrith was better than last week (although that wasn’t hard), but they were generally sloppy and was a touch lucky to have a chance to tie the game in the dying minutes. Melbourne was somewhat off the pace, but welcomed back Cooper Cronk from injury. His impact was immediate and will be vital if they hope to defeat the Dragons this week.
The Manly Sea Eagles bag has long been one which polarises opinion across Sydney, but is regularly amongst the highest-selling bags. This year’s bag is without some of the more successful items of recent years and, at first glance, appears to be more one-dimensional with an emphasis on strength and durability. However, the latest gossip is some items within the bag have surprise elements of skill, especially the previously lampooned Tony Williams. Exposure to alcohol is not advised for the contents of this bag, but that is a risk with all bags to be fair. Manly is likely to perform strongly again this year: a B for the northerners.
(Apologies to those after the Newcastle Knights bag. This is perhaps the most popular bag in some years, but its proprietors are under investigation by NSW Police and it has hence been withdrawn from sale at this year’s Show).
For the third straight week, Manly jumped to a big lead but they would not allow a third straight comeback. Their 12-minute, 3-try period of monopolising possession after Jarrod Mullen’s conservative kick for the sideline was the platform for a big Manly win.
Although it enjoyed a very successful period in the late 1980s and early to mid 1990s based on the development of high-class local produce, the Canberra Raiders bag only enjoys a relatively small amount of support each year. With that said though, this support is quite loyal and they can sometimes be rewarded with great entertainment. However, this entertainment is highly unlikely to occur anywhere except at your own home, especially with the consistent loss of expertise behind the bag being lost to other brands in recent years. Probably better value elsewhere: a D+ rating here.
Canberra lost another one away from home on Saturday night, although they would have done very well to come close to the Gold Coast. They were asked by the draw-makers to back up just 5 days after Monday night, a difficult task in the warm weeks of the early season. Also, any game at Robina for visiting teams figures to be difficult, even though the Titans have been slow starters this year. The loss of Scott Prince for a while could slow the Titans down, but, a bit like Parramatta, a challenge may spur them on to greater heights.
The New Zealand Warriors bag often enjoys very strong levels of support from expatriate Kiwis and those who enjoyed excitement and entertainment alike. This can be a strange bag, often disappointing markedly when it is expected to produce and capable of brilliance when these expectations are removed; alternatively, a sunny Sunday afternoon can see high entertainment levels no matter the expectation or situation. In recent years, the Kiwi/Polynesian influence has been usurped by expertise from Queensland, yet this has largely failed to change the unusual character of this bag. A fairly good bag, but probably only if you don’t expect much: B- here.
In hindsight, the Warriors probably would have defeated Brisbane even if they hadn’t lost Folau and Kemp to injury, although the final margin probably would have been much closer. In any event, the Warriors were in a buoyant mood on Sunday and attacked the struggling Broncos from anywhere on the field. As is their wont, the Warriors gained in confidence as the passes stuck and the points accumulated. The Warriors suffered to injury too, but luckily they were in a much better position than Brisbane to cope with them. Without Folau and Corey Parker, Brisbane could struggle mightily in the weeks to come.
Another traditional Sydney bag is the Canterbury Bankstown Bulldogs bag. Much success in the past three decades means this bag enjoys perhaps the highest level of support in Sydney, but a major re-branding was undertaken last year after the bag became too comfortable with past success and lost its way badly. It is now once again “The Family Bag” and offers some of the higher quality, entertaining, but most of all wholesome showbag items. If you can prove your surname is Moore, you’re related to a Moore or you are Catholic, you receive 50% off and enter the very exclusive draw for future jobs (including first grade coach) in the Bulldogs showbag organisation. A perennial favourite: A- for the Bulldogs bag.
To paraphrase Mark Twain, rumours of the Bulldogs demise were greatly exaggerated. They produced a far better performance, which coincided with a very flat Roosters effort. The heat of the last two Sundays may have played a role here, but a more important factor was complacency. Confirming this was the fact that the Roosters started the second half quite strongly. The Roosters briefly threatened a huge comeback, but once this threat was allayed, the Bulldogs cruised to a big win.
Last – and least – comes the cheapest showbag, but sadly, the falling price hasn’t encouraged any greater support: the Cronulla bag. This bag enjoys fairly strong loyal support from the Sutherland Shire, but its lack of success, penchant for failing in pressure situations and the Shire’s insularity from the rest of Sydney has meant there is little support for it elsewhere. The long-running promise of a major financial infusion for this struggling institution remains just that at this stage; this has meant costs have been cut and hence the 2010 bag comes in that crappy plastic which pretty much falls apart when you touch it. Steer clear from this endangered species unless you enjoy self-torture: F for the Sharks.
The early signs were somewhat promising for Cronulla as they scored first and appeared to be more enthusiastic than the favoured and nervous Rabbitohs. But once Souths easily crossed the line several times, the score-line blew out and the game was over. There was little of note in Souths’ performance – apart from their repeated aerial attacks on Cronulla’s vulnerable fullback Albert Kelly. In the end, Souths would have been happy to get a comprehensive win but the game was awful for the neutral.
On that note, enjoy your Easter weekend and good tipping.
Tuesday, 23 March 2010
Round 2: An Irishman Walks Into An NRL Game And Says…
Round 2 of any given NRL season has long been recognised (by experts such as Phil Gould) as a round where unusual results can take place. Those teams which won well in Round 1 can find it difficult to replicate their form due to a lack of match fitness. On the other hand, those who lost heavily in Round 1 can often bounce back well: the motivation of avoiding zero points after 2 rounds can be surprisingly strong.
To celebrate the often unusual results in Round 2, this week’s match descriptions will come from a country and a culture which has provided the world with often unusual humour (as well as the best opportunity this year — before Origin — to get drunk on a Wednesday via St Patrick’s Day).
(Note: the incredibly dumb efforts of Canberra and Penrith in Round 2 probably qualify as more adequate catalysts for this week’s Roast than the oft-stereotyped Irish. Not only did they serve up some of the most stupid play seen in the NRL in decades, but they both wore jerseys which were very close to shamrock green! Unfortunately there is no native form of poetry to these regions)
St George Illawarra v. Bulldogs
These rivals’ games are often intense
But the ’Dogs looked weak without Ennis
The Dragons went left
And came up with success
This one was over after 20 minutes
It seems somewhat inappropriate to start a St. Patrick’s Day-related Roast with two teams whose history and/or emblem is so heavily in the culture of the English, but it also seems inappropriate that this was deemed the best game of the round by Channel 9 and instead we received another Dragons’ master class in getting to a lead and shutting the game down.
Both teams were without their hookers in this game, but the Dragons’ structure meant that even though they were forced to replace the energetic and speedy Nathan Fien with the geriatric Luke Priddis, their performance was once again brilliant. Their tendency to push most of their attack to their left hand side was far from a surprise, but it coincided with the Bulldogs’ weakest side defensively. Brett Morris finished with 3 tries, but the praise must go to the likes of Soward, Young and Prior for their excellent work in exploiting the Bulldogs’ weaknesses.
Souths v. Gold Coast
The much-hyped Souths were on show
And it looked like another tale of woe
But then a comeback and lead
They seemed certain to succeed
But another loss – bloody Sandow!
To be fair to Souths’ much-maligned half-back, the blame for this very-tough loss can’t be exclusively pinned on his shoulders. His late sin-binning was bizarre to say the least, but proved quite crucial in turning the game back towards the Titans.
But Sandow can be blamed for his role in Souths not having secured the win well before the 80th minute. Souths came back from 16-6 down to take a two-point lead and the struggling, tiring Titans appeared to have no way of coming back game bar for the referees’ late assistance.
Instead, a second straight Souths’ loss was music to the media’s ears (especially with the sight of most of Souths’ big-name forwards on the bench at the same time). Not only did they fan the flames of Souths supporters’ discontent, but it allows them to source quotes from lunatic ex-Souths players such as Craig Coleman (which in themselves can make even the most sane supporter look up the number of the nearest mental facility).
New Zealand v. Cronulla
For the Warriors, this looked easy
But simple ones often make them queasy
The Sharks bounced back
But the Warriors led by their pack
Won well; they can sometimes be a tease-y
Much has been made of the Warriors’ inability to finish off wins from strong positions as well as their inability to win in games where they’re expected to win well. Both of these propositions were tested on Saturday night, as the Warriors jumped out to a 16-nil lead, but the Sharks recovered to cut the lead to just 2 early in the second half.
This one certainly had the ingredients for another Warriors disappointment. Cronulla is probably underrated by many; a number of their players would be welcome by most, if not all, NRL teams, and they gave another gallant, if error-riddled, display here. But the Warriors held firm after Cronulla’s comeback (and despite the late withdrawal of their halfback Brett Seymour). They had the better of possession, made less errors and pressured Cronulla’s defence into conceding two tries which gave the Warriors the win.
On the whole, they looked impressive and will probably do so at other times, especially with a few wins or near-wins against some front-runners. In general though, keep in mind these exemplary efforts are largely an illusion. Potential is a dirty word for those who support the Warriors.
Newcastle v. Melbourne
Newcastle often does well against the Storm
And started with some excellent form
But the Storm held firm
Although the Knights made them squirm
Melbourne’s close win is becoming the norm
It was an intriguing match at Newcastle on Saturday night. The home team, still motivated to show the drug scandal will not affect them, started very strongly against a very good opponent but one they’ve played as well as anyone in the NRL over the last two seasons. While Melbourne is still missing a number of first-choice players, their resilience and ability to incorporate new players meant they lost little due to the forced changes, but the strong start by the Knights shocked them somewhat.
Melbourne came back into the game from here, chopping Newcastle’s lead to just two points by half-time with two well-worked tries, but Newcastle returned stronger in the second half, aided by some uncharacteristically poor Melbourne play. Newcastle, however, could not breach the still-resolute Melbourne defence and, as is often the case, the team which successfully repels waves of opposition attack scores themselves soon after.
But Newcastle would have been quite frustrated by what became the match-winning try for Melbourne, as the Storm didn’t have to work the ball downfield at all; the try came about by a typically heady Brett Finch break past a player called offside who played the role of matador and deceived (for just long enough) an eager team-mate. A late penalty goal was the icing on the cake for Melbourne, who is quietly accumulating points in their nomadic start to the season. Melbourne v. the Dragons in a few weeks should be a cracker.
North Queensland v. Penrith
The Cowbores again started slow
Penrith looked into the flow
But the Cowbores had fight
And went down Penrith’s right
Which was manned by Larry, Curly and Moe
This was perhaps the most difficult match of the round to tip. Both teams looked brilliant and shocking in the same game last week. The Cowbores probably deserved some sort of favouritism at home, but Penrith had played them well in recent years, with success coming in Townsville too.
It appeared as though more success would follow here, as Penrith jumped to leads of 14-2 and then 20-8. However, the Cowbores came back and ended up winning this one easily as Penrith capitulated any time the Cowbores threw the ball to their left. While Michael Jennings and Michael Gordon are accomplished, quite experienced players — or, at least, were once thought to be — their combination on Penrith’s right-side defence yielded disastrous results.
Each of the Cowbores’ four tries came down Penrith’s right and involved nothing resembling intricate strategy. Two of these tries were nothing short of embarrassing. The first of these saw Cowbores’ second rower Scott Bolton at dummy-half near Penrith’s line. As he picked up the ball, Gordon anticipated a pass to Feral Thurston and sprinted in that direction, providing Bolton with a saloon passage to the try-line.
The Cowbores’ final try saw Feral throw the ball wide to mediocre winger Michael Bani. Bani was in open space and approached Penrith full-back Lachlan Coote, their star back-rower Luke Lewis and Gordon; Bani appeared certain to be tackled. But when Bani merely changed direction — not even a sidestep! — Gordon, Coote and Lewis were befuddled and Bani strolled over for an easy try. Lewis subsequently left the field due to concussion; I understand Luke, I would have come up with a similar excuse if I was embarrassed like that.
Bani is barely of first-grade standard, but he carried on like a pork chop after his try. However, given the Penrith players’ ineptitude, he might as well as have knocked their heads together then spun around on the ground (“Whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop!”).
Parramatta v. Manly
Manly started hot again
Getting a 20-point lead at Parra Stadium
Then Parra got on the train
Driven by Hayne
And helped by the refs in need of OPSM
What appeared to be a devastating defeat for Manly the previous Monday night, which saw them lose Brett Stewart and increasingly important prop George Rose, saw most expect Parramatta to win and win well on Sunday. Further hindering Manly’s cause was they had just 6 days to prepare for this game as opposed to 9 for the Eels.
However, Parramatta is traditionally a slow-starting team. Throw in the heavy expectations many have for them in 2010 (and even more so in this game) and it was not that surprising Manly started so strongly, jumping to a 20-nil lead early in the second half.
But as they did on Monday night, they failed to put their opposition away, and when Parramatta got some ball, they came back into the game, led initially by Moi Moi then by Hayne and his incredible 60 metre run.
Much has been made of the forward pass which cut Manly’s lead to just 2 points, but there was numerous errors by the referees on this day, including one which should made the forward pass null-and-void (Robson was in front of Hayne prior to Hayne’s chip-kick which was eventually passed to Robson).
Ultimately, Manly is playing at quite a high level, but not quite high enough to finish off games. The sight-hampered referees cannot be blamed for this.
Sydney Roosters v. Wests Tigers
On Sunday in the searing sun
The Tigers had some early fun
Until the Roosters got cluckin’;
On this day in the oven
It was the Tigers who were well done
As they did on the previous Monday night, the Tigers started strongly, this time jumping to a greater lead (12-0). But as the game went on, it became apparent they expended a lot of effort on the previous Monday night and they were vulnerable.
Meanwhile, for the Roosters, it was (in a way) more of the same as the previous Sunday. In their first game, they withstood the early onslaught from the large and physical Rabbitohs, while this time, they withstood the early onslaught from the more elusive Tigers. In both games, the oppositions had little in reserve after the early going, while the Roosters strengthened as both games went on.
In a weekend of vulnerable edge defences, the Tigers’ right side (and particularly Blake Ayshford) was punished in this game. Who knew Phil Graham could be a very good centre after only ever playing on the wing? No Tigers supporters were surprised that the experienced Daniel Fitzhenry was unable to provide any support to his under siege team-mate. The oven-like conditions would have been an appropriate time to stick a fork in Fitzhenry; he’s well and truly done.
The Tigers again finished with a heap of tries, but it was not nearly enough. A repeat performance of this nature could well see Parramatta played right back into form and off their slow start on Friday night.
Canberra v. Brisbane
At home and on Monday night
Canberra can give anyone a fright
But Brisbane hung tough
And Canberra was dumb
But the Raiders held on while playing shite
It was hardly a surprise Canberra started strongly (a 12-0 lead). At their best, they are a very capable team, with a more than willing forward pack and some amazing young talent.
But from the 10 minute mark until almost the very end of this game, Brisbane had the better of play, dominating for long periods. How they only cut 8 points of Canberra’s early lead during this time is baffling. Canberra almost always looked to make the exciting play and usually dropped the ball (although they can be partly excused for this by Brisbane’s so-so defence and that exciting play looked like paying off more often than not), while Brisbane had a lot of attacking possession and took poor last-tackle options or made errors.
It was in the second half though when Brisbane really dominated. Once they got on the scoreboard via Folau, Canberra was in trouble. But making Canberra’s situation worse was their unforced error count, their penchant for trying the exciting play (still) and Terry Campese’s baffling inability to settle his team down (with a long kick dribbling across the sideline and a slow walk to a scrum). Or, on those rare occasions they got near Brisbane’s line, for a kick into Brisbane’s in-goal area for the possibility of a repeat set.
Canberra was CRYING OUT for some assistance in the second half, yet Campese and his halfback this week (McCrone) both scored epic fails for their tiring team-mates. When Alan Tongue forced what appeared to be a pivotal and inspiring turnover with about 10 minutes to go, this excellent work was immediately erased by a brainless pass from substitute hooker Travis Waddell, which floated softly into the hands of Brisbane forward Sam Thaiday. Campese and McCrone had to be thankful for Waddell’s presence; from the moment he stepped on to the field late in the first half, his contribution was 100 times worse than awful.
In the end, the effort Brisbane needed to overhaul Canberra’s lead became too much and Canberra held on for the ill-deserved win.
See you next week.
Tuesday, 16 March 2010
Round 1: Welcome Back, Welcome Back, Welcome Baaaaack
The combination of the (permanently?) wounded beast that is international cricket (and its especially lacklustre summer), the unusually high quality of rugby league’s off-season matches and, of course, the amazing success of the NRL in 2009 pushed expectations for the new season to a level probably not seen since the mid 1990s.
As is always the case, the start of a new season reminds us that high expectations are somewhat unreasonable. Rugby League is a game built on the success of combinations as well as superior levels of physical fitness; despite months of preparation off the field, performing at or near the peak in these two areas only comes about with extended time in match situations.
However, on the whole, round one of the new season was quite entertaining, more so than many recent season starts. This was especially due to in-game momentum shifts having a greater-than-usual effect (due to the lack of ‘match fitness’) and the general league-wide parity.
But it was also due to the ‘return’ of a number of intriguing players or factors after an absence of several seasons. The combination of these returnees with many consistent and regular performers from last year helped to give round one its quite high entertainment value.
In other words, each game over the weekend had its ‘Welcome Back, Welcome Back, Welcome Baaaaack’ aspect (the theme from 70s TV show Welcome Back Kotter, which some may remember from a Pizza Hut ad campaign in the early to mid 1990s) as well as its ‘Oh No Not You Again’ feature (an early Australian Crawl song title).
Parramatta v St George Illawarra
The season’s first game provided us with perhaps the round’s only team playing at something very close to their best. The Dragons dominated early possession and jumped to a lead on the back of hard running, stinging defence and an excellent kicking game from Jamie Soward. They were rarely run down after getting an early lead in 2009 and they weren’t run down here either. Parramatta occasionally showed glimpses of their late 2009 form but never seriously threatened.
Welcome Back, Welcome Back, Welcome Baaaaack: to Timana Tahu (from Union) but also to the pre-season hype about Parramatta. Parramatta’s incredible late-season run in 2009 not surprisingly brought many supporters out of the woodwork. Throw in a few big-name signings such as Tahu and that Parramatta has a large supporter base and is in the part of Sydney under ‘threat’ from the AFL ‘invasion’ and it was little wonder the massive, Telegraph-led hype happened. Tahu had a relatively quiet game, but seasoned followers of the Eels are used to fairly slow season starts. They’d probably prefer less hype anyway.
Oh No Not You Again: to the Dragons’ incredible early-season intensity. This was how they started 2009, but this was somewhat unsurprising as new coach Wayne Bennett aimed to clean out the previous culture of laziness at the famous club. For them to start 2010 in a similar way though was quite unexpected. Obviously the hype for Parramatta probably contributed to their motivation, but after their late-season struggles and that premiership winners often pace themselves (sometimes by accident) more over the course of a season, one might have expected the Dragons to start 2010 in a more measured way. However, this shouldn’t detract from the impressiveness of their performance.
Brisbane v North Queensland
One of the more exciting games of the round, but played at a fairly low standard. Brisbane is a sliver of a shadow of their 2006 title-winning squad, but managed to jump to 24-nil lead over a largely pathetic Cowbores. From here, the Cowbores got some possession, Feral Thurston made one or two run-of-the-mill plays (which prompted ‘Best Player in the World’ garbage from the Channel 9 commentators) and Brisbane’s rookies made some inexplicable errors to allow the Cowbores all the way back to a deadlock. The big crowd and some shouting commentators created the feeling of a big game, but it was more mediocrity than class as the Cowbores botched a potential game-winning field goal and Brisbane spread the ball wide to instead take the win.
Welcome Back, Welcome Back, Welcome Baaaaack: to the Cowbores’ Ty Williams. Or at least the body of Ty Williams, which is apparently now inhabited by a 70-year old man. With leprosy. In an era where fullbacks are far more versatile, skilful, fast and confident than they’ve ever been, in a time where if you don’t have a very good fullback, you might as well go home for the winter, the Cowbores provided this cadaver in their no. 1 jersey. True, he played a fairly prominent role on their 2005 grand-final team, but since then, he’s aged like a dog. To add insult to injury for Cowbores supporters, the dynamic Shannon Gallant, inexplicably given away by the Tigers, was apparently not considered. One question remains: exactly how many compromising pictures of the coaching staff does Williams possess? There was, however, one huge fan of Williams’ effort on Friday night: Cowbores centre Ashley Graham. Graham was only barely above execrable on Friday night, but was (barely) better than Williams.
Oh No Not You Again: to Brisbane and their ability to unearth special young talent. On paper, this was perhaps the weakest non-Origin Broncos team ever, but they played quite well. Their rookies, led by Corey Norman, were especially impressive. See, Cowbores, there are good fullbacks everywhere. If you close your eyes and spin around with your arm out, you’ll probably find two or three. No wonder Feral Thurston wants to run away to Union.
Bulldogs v Newcastle
This was the first of the round’s games where the overachievers of 2009 started slowly. In contrast to their 2009 opening, where they thrashed the reigning premiers Manly with their new team, the motivation of lining up against the wooden spoon favourites from the Hunter with a highly-lauded team (and the next addition to the Hall of Fame of players who leave Melbourne and then everyone realises the player is not very good, Steve Turner) was not nearly as huge. Meanwhile, Newcastle started the game strongly, clearly determined to show events of recent months and some prominent injuries would not affect them. They led 16-nil and 20-4 before a Bulldogs comeback fell short – by the barest of margins. Had Idris kept on running and not kicked ahead, a Bulldogs victory (either in the 80 minutes or in golden point) seemed certain.
Welcome Back, Welcome Back, Welcome Baaaaack: to Newcastle’s Ben Cross. After missing most of last season with injury, the former Melbourne and State of Origin prop led Newcastle as they had the better of the early physical exchanges with the Bulldogs.
Oh No Not You Again: to the NRL’s interchange rules. Newcastle was severely hampered in the second half as two of their outside backs left the field with injury. Rugby League is a game of endurance and any increased interchange capacity for injured players would have to be unable to be exploited by the tiring or those pretending to be hurt. But any game where one team suffers heavily due to injuries to their outside backs (those players least likely to be interchanged during a game) always leaves a bad taste in the mouth. The Bulldogs comeback was definitely aided by large Newcastle forwards having to play in outside back positions.
Cronulla v Melbourne
Defending premiers have struggled in recent season starts, especially when forced to play away from home. While Cronulla is far from the NRL’s best, any game at Toyota Stadium can be tricky, especially with the strange microclimate there. Cronulla played Melbourne tough for most of the game, but Melbourne was not really troubled despite the closeness of the score line.
Welcome Back, Welcome Back, Welcome Baaaaack: to Cronulla’s Adam Cuthbertson. Seemingly a player of great potential at Manly a few years ago, his decline out of first grade was sudden and surprising. This decline made him a perfect Cronulla signing: cheap, rejected by another club and a good complementary player. It’s hard to be too negative on Cronulla though, at least Cuthbertson is not a ‘Bra Boy with a drug problem.
Oh No Not You Again: to Melbourne and their ability to….put very simply, win. There may be a number of contenders for the NRL crown in 2010, but none of them has the ability to perform when needed as Melbourne does. They also don’t have the ability to make chicken salad out of chicken feathers as Melbourne does. It helps that some players want to play there for chicken feed, but their ability to grind out wins (damnit…no more chicken metaphors!), to manage their roster through the representative season and to time their run for the big September games means they should be strong favourites to defend their title in 2010.
Penrith v Canberra
Penrith threatened to end this game as a contest, but Canberra probably should have taken a lead in this game with about 20 minutes to go. Canberra was almost scoring at will and had a two-man overlap near Penrith’s line, but former Raider Adrian Purtell successfully went for the intercept and returned it 95 metres for a try and a momentum shift. Penrith won well in the end, but could very well have lost this one, and disturbingly easily too.
Welcome Back, Welcome Back, Welcome Baaaaack: to fairly cool round one weather. Season starts in previous years have been affected by fairly hot and/or humid conditions. They would not necessarily affect the performances in a given match, but teams often struggled noticeably the week after playing a match in difficult conditions early in the season. Even the Sunday game on the Gold Coast (luckily) did not experience the searing conditions many expected. Hopefully, this will mean generally better performances in round two.
Oh No Not You Again: to Canberra’s erratic/inconsistent form away from home. From time to time, Canberra scores some emphatic wins away from the national capital, but for the most part, their play away from home is poor. Frustratingly for them, they often show glimpses of their talent, as they did in the second half when they threatened to storm into the game and take the lead. Apart from their amazingly successful 2003, where they racked up a huge number of away wins, this has been a characteristic of their play since the end of the Laurie Daley era and looks like continuing while the talented but inconsistent Terry Campese leads them around.
Gold Coast v New Zealand
A bit like the Bulldogs, the Gold Coast fell behind early against a team most expected them to defeat easily in an environment where they were very successful in 2009. However, the Gold Coast started their comeback a little sooner than the Bulldogs, was a bit luckier with weather conditions and their goal kicker (Prince) had a far better day than the unfortunate Ennis. Preston Campbell started his 38th season of top-flight rugby league with yet another impressive display although he suffered a concussion late in the game. His chances to play against Souths on Friday night though appear good as the routine post-concussion brain scan revealed nothing.
Welcome Back, Welcome Back, Welcome Baaaaack: to the much-maligned Greg Bird. In a welcome change from previous behaviour, Bird took the flak for his misdemeanours. Despite making a number of mistakes, Bird’s generally aggressive and strong play helped the Titans to overcome their slow start. He could be one of the best signings of the year.
Oh No Not You Again: to the Warriors and their ability to lose after being in match-winning positions. Ok, for them to have an 18-6 lead over the Gold Coast with a totally new halves combination and missing a number of key forwards should not have been expected, but over the years, they regularly lose games where they have a very good chance to win. Some cruel people (ok, me) have suggested this was because of the high number of Polynesians in their team, but a fairly high turnover of personnel in recent years and an increasing Polynesian influence in many NRL teams means this factor no longer has the relevance it once did. Some other cruel people (not me) have suggested the Warriors will finish last this season. This seems unlikely; they will probably have a fairly good season, but one should never feel too comfortable when tipping them.
Souths v Sydney Roosters
On paper, this was a no-contest: a huge forward pack against a forward pack whose ranks had been considerably thinned over the off-season. Not surprisingly, Souths aimed to press home their advantage in the forwards, but the Roosters held firm and eventually overwhelmed Souths. Todd Carney had a brilliant first game as did fellow Hall of Shame member Nate Myles, but Souths had reason to consider themselves quite unlucky in several instances in this game, especially when Nathan Merritt inexplicably dropped the ball with 40 metres of grass in front of him.
Welcome Back, Welcome Back, Welcome Baaaaack: to Todd Carney. If he and Mitchell Pearce can be at their best on the field (whilst combining this with a very sober off-field effort) the Roosters could have a very good season. To have two good playmakers (possibly three with Braith Anasta) puts you in the upper echelon on NRL teams. While the Roosters’ depth and overall talent may be suspect (at least at this early stage), the addition of Carney could be one of the signings of the year. Downtrodden Canberra and Cronulla supporters died a little more watching Carney and Bird respectively over the weekend.
Oh No Not You Again: to the bizarre nature of Souths v Roosters games in round one. The last four of these games have been won by the team who performed the worst in the previous season. The game on Sunday was quite similar to round one in 2008, when optimism was high for Souths after their strong 2007, but the Roosters thrashed them at Homebush.
Wests Tigers v Manly
Probably the best game of round one, but also the game where the strengths and weaknesses of the two teams meant the shifts in momentum were especially crucial. The Tigers speed and crisp ball-movement punished the slower Manly players whenever the Tigers had an extended period of possession, while Manly looked very impressive with lots of ball as their size overwhelmed the smaller Tigers. Jamie Lyon figured to come under a lot of pressure as the only real playmaking option in the halves for Manly, but he had an excellent game, while Gareth Ellis was a beacon of hard-running and hard-hitting in an ocean of fairly soft Tigers forward play. His late try was a worthy reward for his great game. Imagine him in a good pack of forwards…
Welcome Back, Welcome Back, Welcome Baaaaack: to Lote Tuqiri and Jason Cayless after a number of years in the wilderness. Both looked a little off their game but both will have increasingly important roles as the season goes on, Tuqiri at the end of mesmerising play from Farah and/or Marshall and Cayless coming off the bench to help slugs like Bryce Gibbs and Chris Heighington. Another one to be welcomed back is Manly’s Tony Williams, although it can be argued that he was never really here. Despite his massive size and bulk, he slept-walked his way through most games in the past (a symptom of starting his career under Michael Hagan at Parramatta no doubt) and his being named at centre brought joy to the eyes of Tigers supporters. But he had a good game, displaying rarely seen aggression and some new skills. He was caught out for the Tigers’ last few tries, but he won’t be the last right centre to suffer against the Tigers.
Oh No Not You Again: to the Tigers, who rarely seem to be able to play to their potential. At times, they can be brilliant, but their dumb play tally was at typically high levels in this game, led by Chris Heighington and his penchant for the stupid penalty. You sometimes get the impression they wouldn’t really mind if they finished ninth again but had a number of exciting games like this. It pays the bills and Channel 9 loves them for an exciting Sunday afternoon game every so often.
See you next week.
Tuesday, 8 September 2009
Round 26: Tuesday Roast™ People’s Choice Awards
With the Dally M Awards — the NRL’s awards night — rapidly approaching, it seems appropriate for the Tuesday Roast to end the (tipping) season with an awards night of its own. While the Dally M night is…not too bad, any night where Matt Awful takes home any award (that doesn’t have ‘worst’ or ‘overly reliant’ in the title) needs something of a makeover.
So…here is some awards the average NRL viewer might prefer to see presented:
The Wendell Sailor Award for Promotional Services to Rugby League
And the nominees are: Wendell Sailor, Wendell Sailor, Wendell Sailor and Wendell Sailor. Not surprisingly, the award goes to….Wendell Sailor.
In a season where off-field incidents have increased in number and severity, Wendell’s charisma and near-omnipotence have been of great benefit to the game. How popular is he? Even when he engages in actions many would deem arrogant or in bad taste, they become highly enjoyable moments (e.g. his on-field slanging match and post-try celebrations against Newcastle and Adam MacDougall in April).
While some cynics might say Wendell’s current persona is aimed squarely at his post-NRL career, there is little doubt he is an engaging and insightful analyst and these qualities have helped the Dragons to their very successful season so far.
Wendell’s relatively calm demeanour was most likely a key factor in the Dragons’ amazing form turnaround on Friday night, which saw them thrash Parramatta 37-0. But a very important factor here was that Parramatta didn’t need to win this game to keep their season alive: they hadn’t had this feeling in months. With sudden-death awaiting them now and some key returns from injury, watch for a much improved Parramatta performance in the re-match at Kogarah on Sunday.
But the boost of Wendell to the game’s image was more than countered by a massive amount of negative publicity from off-field incidents. That makes the task of finding the “best” incident a very difficult one…
The Palm Motor Inn (where Julian O’Neill “sh*t in Schlossy’s shoe” in March 1999) Award for the “best” off-field incident
And the nominees are: Brett Seymour, Brett Stewart, Anthony Watmough, Todd Carney, Jake Friend, Brett Seymour, Brad Fittler, Setaimata Sa, Jake Friend, David Fa’alogo and Nate Myles.
Yep, Nate Myles is the winner. Of course, there could still be any number of Mad Monday related incidents, but the combination of excess alcohol, an upset stomach (and corresponding medication) and a wrong door chosen brought poo back to the NRL headlines just over a decade after Julian O’Neill’s infamous misdemeanour.
If there was an award for a pathetic effort in the final game for a club legend, the Roosters would have secured it after their poor performance against the Cowbores. But if the rumour mill is on (or even close to) target, the fetid stench of gambling (and its use to profit handsomely) was all over this game. After much of the money on this game was for a Cowbores win by more than 13 points, it was extremely suspicious the way the Roosters folded late to push the final margin to beyond 13 points (not to mention the Cowbores’ celebrations for a game that should have meant little to them). We might hear a lot more about this otherwise insignificant game.
But Season 2009 saw the effect of one prominent off-field incident which came from a seemingly harmless situation. This off-field incident had far greater consequences than any of the above stupidity and sent one of the predicted contenders into a season-long torpor….
The Ben Alexander Memorial Award
For those who weren’t following rugby league in 1992, Ben Alexander was the brother of NRL commentator Greg Alexander. Penrith had won the title in 1991 after several years of being in contention and all signs pointed to a team which could contend for many years to come. Sadly, Ben was killed in a car crash which came after a drunken night, which was partly the result of Ben not receiving much time on the field. This crushed Penrith and the local community and the premiership-winning team of 1991 was dismantled from this point on.
While the Warriors’ loss wasn’t as sinister, they are the “winner” of this award, after the tragic drowning of up-and-comer Sonny Fai in January. Not only did this send the Warriors’ premiership chances plummeting, but it robbed us of one of the more exciting teams in the NRL. Save for a few brief purple patches, the Warriors found points very hard to come by in 2009.
In perhaps the most uneventful game of Round 26, Melbourne easily disposed of the Warriors and in doing so, sealed 4th spot. It was Stacey Jones’ final game (again) but the Warriors were unable to even trouble the scorer.
A number of teams in Round 26 either were unable to trouble the scorer or came very close to laying a duck egg. The most prominent of these lost the minor premiership because of it and might struggle over the next few weeks because of a major absence….
The Allan Langer ‘From Starring to Obscurity and back again’ Award
The nominees are: Adam MacDougall, Wendell Sailor, Eric Grothe, Brad Meyers, Phil Graham and…..Brett Kimmorley. Brett Kimmorley wins this award in a canter, despite some impressive returns from obscurity amongst the nominees. This is because Kimmorley stunk it up so much for Cronulla for a period spanning several seasons (not weeks or months). He steered Cronulla from a perennial contender for the title to someone who made up the numbers and was destined to never play Origin again after gifting Matt Bowen an intercept in Game 1 of 2005.
Given this, Ricky Stuart was probably well and truly justified in his desire to get rid of Kimmorley once he took over Cronulla in 2007, but by the time he got around to offloading Kimmorley, Kimmorley was starting to experience his late-career renaissance. This continued for much of the remainder of 2008 and flourished further in a quite talented Bulldogs team this season.
However, in the first game for the Bulldogs since Kimmorley’s sickening facial fractures, they were blown off the park by the Wests Tigers. Admittedly, Kimmorley might not have been able to do much: the Bulldogs started very slowly, barely touching the ball before falling 10-nil, but the pressure is on a number of prominent Bulldogs now to win without Kimmorley (either this week or next week).
The pressure was lifted from Manly somewhat on Saturday after they thrashed the Gold Coast, but that doesn’t exempt them from perhaps the most unwanted award of 2009…
The Chris Walker Award for the Big-Money Dud Signing of the Year
The nominees are: Trent Barrett, Ben Rogers, Tony Williams and Israel Folau and….ohhh there’s only one vote in it! Tony Williams is the winner, but Ben Rogers can feel very hard done by!
Williams’ sloth-like lethargy (despite his massive size) and a turning circle that made Luke Covell look nimble meant he was the most maligned Williams at Manly this season (an amazing feat, given the extreme case of second-year syndrome suffered by David Williams). It’s a great night for Williams as he also won the Jason Ryles “Looks like Tarzan, but Plays Like Jane” Award.
After the Dragons win on Friday night, the Gold Coast didn’t have much left to play for and it showed as Manly rather easily thrashed them. It wasn’t a top-shelf Manly display, but it wasn’t far off and suggests the challenge of playing big-name teams in the weeks ahead could help to produce similar efforts.
Like the Gold Coast, Souths didn’t have a lot to play for in Round 26, but somehow snuck home in the dying seconds to defeat Cronulla. For the second week in a row, a very brave Cronulla side had victory cruelly snatched from them. But in an unfortunate way, it highlights one problem in relying on too many young and inexperienced players…
The Michael Jennings Award for Youthful Inability to Read in Defence
For allowing rather easy match-winning tries in their final two games, Cronulla’s Matthew Wright is a worthy winner of this award. This award was introduced in 2007, when Penrith’s very talented rookie Michael Jennings wowed supporters while creating a nice breeze with his turnstile arms on opposing centres as they went past him.
Wright is only 18, so he could end up being a very good player, but as the depth of NRL squads is more severely tested each season and younger, more inexperienced players are required, pathetic defence such as that seen by Wright will become more common, not less.
Speaking of Jennings, his Penrith side travelled to Newcastle on Sunday with a chance to win and qualify for the finals. Not surprisingly, as they did in almost every game of significance they’ve played since the absence of Petero Civoniceva, Penrith….emulated Nate Myles and Julian O’Neill in their shorts.
But the award resulting from this game was for size. No, not Islander size or bulk, rather the best example of a “big man” with plenty of skills plying his craft for the Knights…
The Tracey Grimshaw ‘Big is Beautiful’ Award
The nominees were: George Rose (for almost bursting out of his suit on NRL on Fox last week), Danny Wicks (for his surprising skills and speed for basically a fatty boombah), Jarrad Hickey (who used to be a fatty and still looks a $1000 KFC Man of the Match away from returning to his former state) and Matt Utai (who hilariously tried to be a forward this season).
Newcastle’s Danny Wicks took out this award for the second straight year. Which prop forward scores an 80 metre try? Which prop flies (relatively speaking) through the air to take a bomb with two hands above his head AFL-style? He is a constant source of amusement on the field. Wicks’ success in recent seasons might persuade NRL teams to go back to the fatty prop (a la the trend of plus-size models on the catwalk).
The final two awards go to Canberra’s Terry Campese. Firstly, he beat out a strong field (including Paul Gallen and Billy Slater) for The ‘But My Mum says I’m the best player’ Award.
His next award is The Steve Turner ‘It’s Not My Fault They Picked Me’ Award (beating out David Williams and Steve Price (who was unfortunately ‘picked out’ by Brett White).
There is little doubt of Campese’s ability, but his on-field attitude and approach to the game was revealed to be barely above the level of a moody adolescent this season. Canberra’s ornament to the game, Alan Tongue, was often embarrassed by Campese’s unprompted appearances and stupid comments towards officials, while Campese’s inability to lead his team and play well away from home are disturbing attributes for someone in State of Origin contention to possess.
That brings to end the first Tuesday Roast™ People’s Choice Awards Night and, of course, the tipping season as a whole. Well done to all who received prizes, good luck to the remaining teams (who are ecstatic the Tigers couldn’t make it to September) and see you again in 2010.
