Round 4: Easter Eggs

As a special treat, this week’s Roast will be an 8-pack of Easter Eggs. Instead of being chocolate, these Eggs are of the metaphorical variety, but this doesn’t mean they will be any less satisfying as they contain tasty discussion of many of the key issues in the NRL. Another key difference here is that these Eggs are easily found – unless you looked for them on Tuesday that is (sorry guys).
Hornby retires from representative Rugby League – is he serious?!

On Good Friday morning, when most League supporters were looking forward to analysis and prediction of the clash of the best two teams (by some margin) so far this season, the news of Ben Hornby’s decision to make himself unavailable for the season’s representative fixtures instead took up column inches. While frustration would have been ultimately felt at breakfast tables across Australia as this piece of irrelevance was made public, the first reaction had to have been one of hilarity.

Put simply, has a player with less hope of making representative games ever announced his retirement from them? Perhaps delusions of adequacy swept through Hornby as a flash-in-the-pan Brett Kimmorley returned to State of Origin aged 75 last season and made Hornby think he was a chance again. Or maybe Hornby got concussion after falling on his ribs in scoring the season’s opening try at Parramatta. Admittedly, Hornby might have been a chance of selection in the City-Country game, but if such a pointless selection happened, he could have done what Matt Cooper, Eric Grothe, El Masri and several others do (or did) year-in and year-out: make up a minor injury and miss the game.

After the Dragons were soundly beaten by Melbourne on Friday afternoon, it would not have been surprising if it was reported many of their players wished they’d used a similar excuse before this game. While the score-line was often close, Melbourne was well in control for most of the game. Quite frankly, the Dragons should have been embarrassed they couldn’t produce somewhere near their normal level of play when it was needed, and that they looked largely ineffective when they fell behind and rarely threatened the Storm try-line.

For Melbourne on the other hand, Friday was further confirmation how far ahead of the rest of the NRL they are. They struggled at times, although were never seriously threatened, through the first 3 weeks against some mediocre opposition, but when a test loomed, they lifted strongly and executed their game plan almost flawlessly, despite missing a number of highly regarded players.

While Melbourne would have been ecstatic at their performance, much of the media experienced a similar reaction, especially after Billy Slater’s late try and Cooper Cronk’s pass to Slater. Unfortunately, it should not have been a try as Cronk’s pass was noticeably forward to all not in purple or in possession of a Channel 9 media pass. It is understandable why so many chose to overlook the forward pass; this game, while being very well played, was hardly “exciting” for the layperson. But that doesn’t make it right.

Carney’s resurrection continues, but should it be happening with the Roosters?

Unfortunately for the purposes of the above headline and its pun value, the Roosters Broncos game did not take place on Easter Sunday. Of course, this did not mean that Todd Carney’s “resurrection” couldn’t continue. It was another stellar performance from Carney as the Roosters accounted for the struggling Broncos fairly comfortably; Canberra can only have wished they had a halfback an eighth as good as Carney.

With Greg Bird making a similarly strong impression with a new club after a period out of the game for bad behaviour, the question is being increasingly asked whether troubled but highly talented players should be sacked from their club. In such a close competition, Carney and Bird are pivotal players, as the form of Cronulla and Canberra since these players departed indicates. It can be a fine line between satisfying season ticket-holders and sponsors and maximising the chances of winning games; perhaps Carney and Bird would not ever have been able to rehabilitate with their previous club? If so, perhaps compensation from the club to benefit from a rehabilitated star player is needed? You’d like to think rugby league’s crackdown on bad behaviour will mean such questions do not again need to be considered, but it would be naïve to think five years’ worth of vigilance will change an entire culture.

Sharks’ signing Smith shows his true colours

Saturday night’s first game was not one for the archives. One team couldn’t care less, the other team….just couldn’t (for the most part). Throw in the rain and it was probably a surprise the combined score for the game reached 11.

But the game was memorable for Tim Smith’s contributions. He struggled to make much of an impact in general play (although his relatively unknown goal-kicking talents were pressed into service after a season-ending injury to Luke Covell) but he showed he will feel right at home in the Shire. Firstly, a cut meant he had to change his jersey during the game. This normally leads to wolf-whistles from the female part of the crowd, but a Southern Cross tattoo across Smith’s back caught the eyes of the local male redneck population.

Secondly, Smith’s post-game quote to the media (referring to his first-half head clash and its effect on his memory) warmed the cockles (cock…tee hee) of many a Shire yokel’s heart: “I can’t really remember hardly anything”

Cronulla will probably still finish towards the bottom of the ladder this season, even with the signing of Smith, but at least they will be more interesting.

Cowbores try something less boring and (shock horror) become a revitalised team!

A combination of injury and poor form meant the Cowbores had to make a number of changes for their important match against the Gold Coast on Saturday night. Each new player – Shannon Gallant, Ray Thompson and Will Tupou – was making his first grade debut for the Cowbores and for Thompson and Tupou, it was their first grade debut for any club. The exit of Ty Williams, Michael Bani and Grant Rovelli from first grade meant a sizeable void in experience – but would the youthful enthusiasm more than offset this?

The answer was a resounding YES. Gallant was a star in rare appearances for the Tigers in recent years but somehow found himself stuck behind Williams in the full-back pecking order for the Cowbores, despite Williams being able to time his 40m sprint using a calendar. Even more perplexing for the Cowbores is that Gallant plays a lot like their injured star full-back Matt Bowen. FOX’s Andy Raymond reached new heights of on-air diplomacy when he stated “I think Shannon Gallant is a little more in the mould of Matty Bowen than Ty Williams is, with the greatest of respect to Williams of course”. It was hardly surprising that Gallant had an excellent game; hopefully he has a big one this week against the Tigers who stupidly released him late last year.

But Thompson and Tupou also enjoyed very solid debuts. Thompson’s neat no-look flick pass leading to the Cowbores’ first try was almost Benji-like. Rovelli wouldn’t be able to replicate such a pass in 1000 attempts. It was the start of a very confident opening game. Meanwhile, Tupou defended in the Cowbores’ sieve-like right-side defence and was asked to defend in the centre position (despite being a winger) so Williams’ partner-in-slime Ashley Graham could defend on the wing. Amazing! The Cowbores’ right-side defence was much improved.

With much of their dead wood gone, the Cowbores recorded an easy win over the Titans. Who knows how many more talented youngsters from the far north are in the Cowbores’ extremely boring system? This team could be anything as long as Feral Thurston hangs around.

Manly finally shrug off the curse of the penalties

In their first three rounds, the large and somewhat immobile Manly side suffered more so than most when on the receiving end of a number of penalties. While they were far from perfect in a number of areas in their 14-6 win over the Warriors, Manly would have been much happier that a series of penalties to their opposition did not result in a number of tries being conceded. This is especially so given that they had to endure 10 minutes with one less player than the Warriors.

This was one of the better games of the weekend, despite the high number of errors. Both teams are playing quite well and are above the pre-season expectations of many.

(Rampant Raiders + Terrible/Tremendous Tigers) * Sunday Afternoon = Entertainment Plus

It became apparent quite soon into Sunday afternoon’s game at Canberra Stadium that the home team was in a rare mood. This happens every so often (more so usually against high-flying opposition and/or when the Raiders are not expected to win) but when it does, it is almost always a large Canberra win. Rampaging forward runs, crisp ball movement, excellent play-making and strong defence mean field position for whoever is unlucky enough to be Canberra’s opposition is almost impossible to get. Usually, when Canberra cools off, the game is well out of reach.

It almost happened here – on several occasions – but the Tigers did just enough to stay in the game (and received enough good fortune to stay in the game), but once they realised they weren’t out of the game and started to turn around Canberra’s possession advantage, they stormed back into the game. Farah’s decision to throw the long pass deep in the Tigers territory paid off massively (although there was a huge amount in Croker’s knock-down bouncing nicely into Farah’s hands); this made it only 22-10 but it was the turning point. Campese’s unfortunate penalty goal attempt into the post was also very unlucky, but a standard miss or make probably would only have been a small hindrance to the Tigers’ momentum.

In the end, the score-line blew out late; the Tigers were certainly not 13 points better than Canberra, but it was another great game. Not just a comeback, but a well-played game. Phil Gould sounds like a broken record with his love for Sunday afternoons, but there is no doubt games are of a higher quality in natural light and (usually) dry conditions.

Newcastle and Penrith in Easter Monday battle of dumb play

On Monday afternoon, it was another huge comeback, but not nearly the same quality of play. Newcastle dominated the first 20 minutes but failed to score and Penrith took a surprise lead. Newcastle then posted 4 tries as Penrith made a large number of mistakes (errors and dumb penalties conceded) to give Newcastle much possession.

Newcastle’s 18 point half-time lead was then frittered away as routine attacking kicks by Penrith were blundered by Newcastle. MacDonnell’s dropped bomb fell right to Michael Jennings who ran for the corner. A “nothing” mid-field kick led to another set of 6 tackles and then a try, before a Walsh grubber which appeared to be rolling across the dead ball line was ignored by 2 Newcastle defenders and set upon by Luke Lewis. In this time, it was Newcastle’s turn to give away dumb penalties.

Newcastle recaptured the lead when Jarrod Mullen showed Lewis his show-and-go scrum move for at least the fourth time, but Lewis allowed Mullen past him for the easy try. Penrith equalised again when Paulo was the only player to compete for the in-goal bomb kick.

Newcastle’s Scott Dureau almost gave his team back the lead with a brilliant field goal, but before this Penrith ignored several good field goal chances after questionable options by their hooker Iosefa (why was the more reliable Kingston not playing at such a crucial time??). Finally, the tiring Knights could not halt the dummy half runs of Penrith and a rare piece of smart play by former Knight Walsh put Purtell over the match-winning try.

Much drama, a big comeback, some great try-finishing plays, but much dumb play too. Overall, this was a low-quality affair. This is probably a tad harsh; it is only Round 4 after all. If this sort of game happens in Round 24 and both teams are well in finals contention, then there might be more of a problem.

Battle of the HYPED as Souths thrashes the Bulldogs

It took four rounds, but Souths finally displayed something near their potential as they easily disposed of the (briefly) high-flying Bulldogs. The much-hyped Sam Burgess – with Mum cheering him on from Russel Crowe’s box – scored two tries and led the Souths forward pack to a huge win over the short-handed but thoroughly out-played Bulldogs pack.

But one of Souths’ less hyped players also had a very good game – part of his stellar start to the season. What’s more, Beau Champion’s excellent game came against the increasingly favoured selection for the NSW left centre position in State of Origin, Josh Morris.

Of course, part of Champion’s success came due to being set up by John Sutton. The fake-tanned Burgess, Dave Taylor, Asotasi, Crocker will likely continue to command much of the media attention, but Souths’ fortunes will probably be determined more by the performances of Sutton, Sandow and lesser-known players like Champion.

See you next week.