Round 11: Oche Oche Oche Oi Oi Oi

Australia loves its sport – both participating in it and watching it played professionally – more than perhaps any other country in the world. However, most sports-loving Australians find it difficult to keep up with their sporty brethren who largely ply their trade in far-flung locales across the world.

This is largely a product of the media’s interest; unless the sport (or event) in question is highly supported or of paramount importance, the media find it hard to muster much interest. This is especially the case for the lesser sports…unless, of course, there is a chance for the media to jump on a successful Aussie athlete’s bandwagon.

Some earlier examples of sportsmen and women in the lesser sports standing proudly under the Southern Cross celebrating victory were Craig Johnston and Layne Beachley. However, in the few months thus far of 2010, there seems to have been a greater than normal number of successful Aussies in the lesser sports abroad: the likes of Andrew Bogut (who had climbed into the upper echelon of NBA big men – where no Aussie has ever been – before his season was cruelly cut short by injury), Mark Webber (recording back-to-back F1 wins), Neil Robertson (the first Australian winner of snooker’s world championship since 1952) and Doug Bollinger (who helped the Chennai Super Kings win the fledgling Indian Premier League)

However, the best story in 2010 for an Aussie sportsman plying his trade out of Australia and earning acclaim once news of his efforts was heard must be darts player Simon Whitlock. After a number of years bouncing around the lower darts competitions in the UK with occasional success, he surprised many by making it to the World Championship final earlier this year. He finished runner-up to perhaps the greatest living sportsman (English darts legend Phil Taylor) but gave a solid account of himself.

Whitlock’s emergence earned him a place in the prestigious Premier League of darts, where he finished second to Taylor on the ladder after the fourteen ‘home and away’ rounds. Sadly for Whitlock (and this Roast), he couldn’t win his semi-final (Tuesday morning Australian time) and finished in 4th place. This may have been for the best though, as Taylor regained his Premier League title after losing it last year with a display never before seen in darts history.

As a tribute to Whitlock and his wonderful efforts to emerge in the relatively closed world of darts – not just for his excellent play, but also his happy-go-lucky demeanour, which sees him not receive abuse or even heckling from the drunken British crowds – this week’s Roast will describe each of the week’s games in darting parlance.

To elaborate, each game recap will include an example of brilliant play, of hard luck and of absolute rubbish. To elaborate further:

“ONNNNNNE HUNDRED AND EIGHTTTTTTTY”: This refers to the maximum score possible from every 3 darts thrown (3 x triple 20). This usually sends the crowd into wild cheering.

“ONNNNNNE….One Hundred and Twenty”: This refers to a dart not plugging into the board fully and falling out before the player has a chance to get to the board, or if the dart hits another dart or the metal dividers and bounces back on to the floor: millimetres away from a high-scoring play.

“No score”: This could be, for example, scoring a double 19 when aiming for a double 3 with only 6 points needed to win the leg (the end of a leg of darts, scoring backwards from 501, can only be achieved when a double, or throwing a dart into the outer ring of the board, is successfully done).

Newcastle v Tigers

This game brought together two teams desperate for a turnaround in form. Newcastle was looking for back to back wins for the first time this season and a home win to avoid their worst start to a season at home since the abysmal 2005 season, while the Tigers were looking to avoid their 5th straight loss and breaking the 20-point barrier for the first time in 4 games (a record they hadn’t matched since the dark days of 2003).

The addition of wind and rain to this tense affair only made things more difficult. Viewers suffered for much of the first half too as both teams struggled. But the second half saw the Tigers slowly take over, blowing the score out past 20 with two late tries.

“ONNNNNNE HUNDRED AND EIGHTTTTTTTY” goes to the Tigers’ ability to play excellent wet-weather rugby league and physically dominate a bigger team. From about the 20 minute mark onwards, the Tigers had the better of field position, won the battle of the ruck and played a much better game in the wet. These qualities were rarely if ever associated with the dry-track specialists from Sydney’s (inner) west.

“ONNNNNNE….One Hundred and Twenty” goes to Newcastle’s injuries. Their win against the Roosters last week was perhaps their best of the season, but this came at the cost of a number of important players, including Jarrod Mullen and Isaac De Gois. These losses were crucial as Newcastle was severely lacking in on-field brains against the Tigers.

“No score” goes to Newcastle’s dumb play. Allowing the Tigers to score from their simple scrum play? Not playing the simple kicking game for field position in the wet? Newcastle certainly missed some players, but even allowing for this, they played dumb. Scott Dureau had a great chance to show his abilities and perhaps help his quest to be re-signed but a silver lining to this game for the Knights had to be that their thoughts on Dureau were further confirmed.

Parramatta v Cronulla

The current NRL definition of bogey team has to be Cronulla for Parramatta. Cronulla’s plucky, lucky victory meant they have now defeated Parramatta at Parramatta five consecutive times, while they’ve defeated Parramatta at all venues five times out of six. This was actually a quite entertaining game, as Cronulla looked far from the last-running team with an enterprising mix of strong forward play and a wide-running backline.

Meanwhile, Parramatta was missing Hayne and Tahu and had to back up from a tough game against Manly after just 5 days, but looked a real threat to score every time they moved into Cronulla’s attacking area. Admittedly, this was not often, as Parramatta’s forwards struggled, but some slices of luck gave them a few tries and an 18-10 lead early in the second half.

However, Parramatta couldn’t put Cronulla away and tries to Tim Smith and Paul Aiton gave Cronulla back the lead. Parra came close, but couldn’t reply, giving Cronulla a well-deserved win.

“ONNNNNNE HUNDRED AND EIGHTTTTTTTY” goes to Cronulla, who hadn’t played so well and confidently in….years. Did they know Ricky Stuart was quitting and hence gave their ‘week-after-the-coach-is-sacked’ top-shelf performance a week early? Time will tell. But if they can play like this more often, the NRL season will be much better for it.

“ONNNNNNE….One Hundred and Twenty” goes to the unlucky set of factors against Parramatta. Not only was it their bogey team at their bogey venue, but coming off playing at the heavy Brookvale Oval only 5 days earlier and facing a full-strength Cronulla during Origin time were all unfortunate. During the game, Parramatta was a touch unlucky to have a try disallowed which probably would have sealed victory after a downfield kick was deflected (but Ben Smith – the recipient of the deflection – was offside).

“No score” goes to Parramatta for a game they definitely should have won. They led 18-10 and had ample opportunity to score again and put Cronulla away but failed to do so. One play during this time which sticks in the mind is Joel Reddy’s rather pathetic left-foot grubber kick. Circumstances might have been against them, but two losses to Cronulla may come back to haunt the Eels.

New Zealand v South Sydney

This was a close game in the end, so by definition it was a ‘thriller’ as reported by the media. However, both teams would have been unhappy after this game, the Warriors really should have won by more, while Souths had a number of great chances to win given the Warriors’ poor finish to the game.

The Warriors started well, but Souths responded with 3 tries, before another 3 tries from the Warriors gave them a strong 8-point lead. The Warriors faded somewhat from here and Souths came back, but couldn’t finish the comeback thanks to a slew of dropped ball and errors in the game’s last 10 minutes.

“ONNNNNNE HUNDRED AND EIGHTTTTTTTY” goes to the Warriors for defeating a noteworthy opponent despite losing two key players (Moloney and Rapira) to injury. They probably should have lost, but the Warriors’ task was made much more difficult by these injuries and as such, they probably deserve a touch more credit.

“ONNNNNNE….One Hundred and Twenty” goes to John Sutton and Sam Burgess, who were probably the best two players on the field. Burgess in particular had a very strong game, but Souths’ annoying habit of following up massive wins with poor performances continued in this game.

“No score” goes to the messy last 10 minutes of this game. The Warriors’ kicking game with a rapidly tiring team was awful. Apparently they didn’t know about putting the ball out for a slow walk to the scrum to replenish energy levels, or even to kick the ball to the corner to make Souths’ task that much more difficult. All they could muster were kicks straight to the Souths’ backmen. That is, from those sets they actually completed. Souths took advantage of Warriors’ mistakes and threatened to score a number of times but dropped the ball far too often.

St George Illawarra v Canberra

This surprisingly entertaining game was decided in about 5 minutes, when the game’s evenness was blown apart by three quick Canberra tries. The gallant, almost reserve grade Dragons never stopped trying to come back in the game but they fell 8 points short.

“ONNNNNNE HUNDRED AND EIGHTTTTTTTY” goes to both teams for such a high quality game. Canberra obviously needed to be aggressive and utilise their size and speed on the edges against such a young Dragons side to score a much-needed win, but the young Dragons were fearless and far from conservative. Several Dragons on debut or in their first few games look set for long careers, especially Fai Fai Loa and Kyle Stanley.

“ONNNNNNE….One Hundred and Twenty” goes to the unlucky Dragons, who lost two key players in the lead-up to the game (in addition to their Origin representation and previous injury toll). Beau Scott’s absence on the right-side defence was crucial; Canberra frequently went down this avenue at the vulnerable Soward and only inexperienced players around him. But they also missed Dan Hunt, who sadly suffered a season-ending injury in the warm-up.

“No score” goes to the Dragons’ Michael Lett, once a highly touted up-and-coming player. He has largely failed to live up to this potential, but his main fault on Sunday was his knock-on from a simple downfield kick. Canberra took over possession and went on their three-try rampage – game pretty much over.

Penrith v Canterbury

In the end, Penrith won this game rather easily, but this was not without several helpings of luck. Luckily for them, the Bulldogs were without almost all of their creative players and were never going to overhaul any sizeable deficit. Penrith could have played much better but it was a fairly significant win for them, without three of their main leaders.

“ONNNNNNE HUNDRED AND EIGHTTTTTTTY” goes to the remaining Penrith players, especially in the forwards (Grant, Pritchard, Puletua etc.). In years past, they have struggled when Civoniceva, Lewis and Waterhouse have been absent and the prospect of playing the Bulldogs without Kimmorley and Ennis might once have induced complacency.

“ONNNNNNE….One Hundred and Twenty” goes to the Bulldogs, who fell victim to the Origin selection policy of picking ‘trusted’ players i.e. players who were playing well last season. Kimmorley and Ennis have looked patchy this season in a struggling team but they retained their Origin spots. The Bulldogs might have been a real chance in this one with one or both of these players.

“No score” goes to the Bulldogs, who went with an extremely conservative game plan, despite an eighty minute appearance from self-anointed x-factor Ben Barba. Their reliance on dummy-half running, especially in the first half made the Roosters look adventurous. And when they fell behind, there was not much change.

NSW v Qld

An extremely disappointing Origin game was played last night in Sydney. New South Wales had evidently learned nothing from the past four years and fell victim to the same selection mistakes and many of the same Queensland plays seen time and time again between 2006 and 2009. While the illusion of closeness was provided by a tight score-line for much of the first half and at full time, this game was over after about 20 minutes, when Queensland realised their forwards could dominate at will, their halves could do what they want and they could go left at any time with little trickery and confuse a hastily-assembled NSW left-side defence.

“ONNNNNNE HUNDRED AND EIGHTTTTTTTY” goes to a very good Queensland side for their efficient demolition of NSW. Their annoying habit of clocking off in non-key moments keeps the game interesting for those with no knowledge of the game, but they were always in control here. Sadly, for those who love a great contest, this inept NSW team will probably never push Queensland to somewhere near their best; we may never know exactly how great this Queensland team can be.

“ONNNNNNE….One Hundred and Twenty” goes to those New South Wales players who could be, or once were, Origin greats, but whose talent is buried deep within the mess that is the New South Wales “structure”. This “structure” is anything but; as a result, the Queensland team has little trouble taking on the 17 NSW individuals.

“No score” goes to such a disgraceful New South Wales squad, with umpteen players out of position, a captain who doesn’t deserve a spot in the starting team, a forward pack that struggles to go forward and too many players picked on reputation (from Game 3 last season). Sadly, for those wanting a great game, the NSW selectors are bound to be too conservative to make the necessary changes (including themselves) before this series is won in Game 2.

On that depressing note, see you next week.