Round 21: "That's A Big Call!"

“That’s a big call. That’s a big call!” Feral Thurston was stunned: his team-mate Luke O’Donnell was just sent from the field in May last year for using an elbow as a weapon whilst in possession of the ball. This hadn’t happened since….maybe Craig Smith (when he used to visit the judiciary a handful of times per season) but Cement Gillespie certainly was dismissed similarly in the late 1980s. Even more amazingly, O’Donnell was sent off by a rookie referee.

However, O’Donnell could not have struck Luke Lewis in the throat any more sweetly if he had tried and he had acquired a reputation over many years for raising his elbow at inopportune moments (most notably when he inflicted similar pain on to Michael Monaghan’s jaw in 2003). In fact, Feral’s “big call” was anything but; instead, it was exactly the right call and one that had to be made.

Below are 10 “big calls” from Round 21:

St George Illawarra against Melbourne will likely be considered as the most interesting match of the season…unless they meet again in the semi finals.

Not only was this match a chance for the Dragons to exact some revenge over a long-time tormentor, but it would be a great test of their ability to win in big games. Early on, the Dragons started strongly and took the lead, but Melbourne responded with a level of play not seen from them…perhaps ever. They were clearly pumped at the prospect of defeating the probable minor premiers and this was seen in their level of intensity and well-thought-out strategy. Also, history has shown they are rarely able to play at this level in the few weeks after the Origin series concludes.

Not long after the Dragons took their lead, Melbourne responded with two tries, the second of which pitted Inglis and Soward together in a scene which was probably not far off Soward’s worst nightmare. As he did in their Round 1 meeting, Soward went high trying to tackle Inglis and copped the brunt of Inglis’ strength, but he somehow stayed in the play. The only weapon he had left to stop Inglis scoring was the Slater kick; this (just) failed, but the referees rubbed salt into the wound by giving a possible 8-point try.

Dragons coach Wayne Bennett would have been delighted at Melbourne’s approach to this game; whether the Dragons won or lost, this game was going to be a great test for his relatively young team. The Dragons responded before half time as Soward found Sailor out wide, but Soward was perhaps still understandably affected by the intensity of the Melbourne effort and this was reflected in his second missed conversion of the game.

Even though they lost Sika Manu to a broken leg early on, Melbourne looked to have a great chance to win this game. Cameron Smith was causing havoc around the ruck, Dallas Johnson somehow found the energy to have an excellent game and Billy Slater continued his brilliant form. However, the Dragons (largely) kept their composure, maintained their intensity and (with a few pieces of luck) kept Melbourne scoreless for the remainder of the game while scoring three tries of their own.

At times they appeared a little….anxious and probably expended a bit more energy than they normally would (due to the semi-final-like game arriving earlier than expected), but for the Dragons to achieve such a win was a significant step. Yes, they were quite lucky that Tomane’s acrobatic effort for a try for Melbourne was disallowed for no good reason (it was not possible to see his elbow out of the field of play when he touched the ball down), but it was a stirring Dragons’ victory…and a possible pre-cursor to perhaps an even better game in Week 3 of the finals if the Dragons finish 1st, Melbourne finish 4th and results go as expected.

Jamie Soward: was this the game where he finally confirms his brilliance in big games?

This game was not just a test for the Dragons, but it was a huge test for their prolific but somewhat inexperienced (at least in big matches) five-eighth Jamie Soward. His skills and talent are not in doubt, but the fact that such a player was kept away from the Origin blowtorch in a year when NSW was crying out for talent suggests those in the know where unsure of Soward’s ability against the very best and uncertain if a bad game at this level would severely stunt his development.

Soward has dominated the lesser lights in recent weeks but he quickly became aware of the difficulty of the task in front of him on Friday night. It wasn’t just the looming spectre of Inglis and his lethal palm, but a battle-hardened, smart team full of big-game players who wanted nothing more than to shoot down this season’s best team so far.

The task for Soward became even more difficult when he sustained a shin injury early in the second half and it appeared he needed to leave the field for treatment. Eventually, a combination of his own pride and determination and a fire-up from Wendell Sailor saw Soward overcome his demons (at least on this night) and lead his team to a famous win. The pinpoint long passes, the accurate kicking game, the much-mimicked but quite precise goal kicking ability and his blinding speed were all on display in the second half. He probably needs to come through another half-dozen or so games such as this to prove himself to the people that matter, but overall, it was a very positive night for Soward.

Steve Turner: the worst signing for the Bulldogs since Brett Howland (or Leon Bott)?

Apart from Soward’s resilience and the video referee blunder to disallow Tomane’s try, the other talking point after this game was Steve Turner (Melbourne’s other winger) and his quite pathetic attempt to outpace Ben Creagh and score what would have been a very important try.

Turner gathered a loose ball with about 15 minutes left and saw a very generous sideline gap. He executed the standard in-and-away on Darius Boyd and had no defenders in front of him. Any winger worth his salt should score in this situation, but after 30 metres or so of sprinting, he inexplicably slowed up and slightly headed infield.

At this point, Dragons’ second rower Ben Creagh — the closest defender, but realistically no chance of catching a winger in a sprint — received a burst of hope; now he had a chance of collaring this excuse of a player and the worst NSW Origin player in history. Turner realised his mistake, but couldn’t accelerate away from Creagh. Hornby joined in to stop Turner’s progress and after the rest of the Dragons arrived and repelled the Storm in that set of tackles, the Kogarah Oval crowd rose as one, a great win was as good as sealed…and Turner’s reputation as a joke was confirmed.

Replacing one of the great wingers ever (still) with Steve Turner? Usually the Bulldogs make astute signings, but this one is way off the mark. Time will tell whether Turner will be as useless as other pathetic wingers Brett Howland and Leon Bott or hooker Michael Sullivan (all of whom came via the Cronulla Sharks: no coincidence there) but look out for Turner to be playing lots of park rugby league next season.

It might be a little late, but it looks like the Gold Coast’s annual decline has begun.

It’s hard to blame the Gold Coast for playing at such a high level for so much of this season. They are understandably so keen just to make it to September after disappointing finishes to their first two seasons, but in doing so (probably), they may very well have burnt themselves out.

Sure, the Cowbores’ effort against them on Friday night was one of the better ones seen this season, but the Titans were so far off the pace. Usually, their intensity and consistency of effort — especially at home and against good teams — means they are always a great chance of winning, but it became apparent after a few minutes on Friday night this was not the usual Titans. They threatened to score early and start well, but their attack was lacking. Even when try opportunities presented themselves (to Minichiello and Gordon), there was not the hunger and effort to score. You know when Matt Bowen stops you from scoring one-on-one that something is not right.

Granted, Gold Coast was without several important forwards (Laffranchi, Harrison) as well as Mat Rogers, but they have made do without injured players at different times all season. They will likely improve when these injured/suspended players return, but it’s hard not to see the Titans limp across the line unless they can find another gear (as the top teams do).

Feral Thurston >>>> Prince

In a way, the struggles of the Titans against the Cowbores were represented by the tough night Scott Prince had against Feral Thurston. Prince is a very experienced, skilful and capable player…but he doesn’t have the extra gear for big games. He’s just not enough of a Feral. Interpret that however you like, but Feral Thurston…he might not always produce when needed, but when he does produce, he leaves pretenders like Prince in his wake.

Prince tried to bring his team back into the game, but it was never going to happen. Some say he is unlucky not to have played many Origin games due to Lockyer and Feral, but there is a feeling he might not be much good at the Origin level, not at this late stage of his career anyway. Look for Cooper Cronk to take over from Lockyer when Lockyer retires from representative rugby league next season and for Prince Charles to regret the extremely long tenure of Queen Lockyer.

Cowbores played great…almost as great as their cheerleaders think they always play.

It was an excellent and very timely performance from the Cowbores. Feral was very good, but Matt Bowen was even better. He dominated at both ends, with several try-saving tackles followed up by tries and try assists.

However, to say they (and he) were overdue for such a game was an understatement. After their highly fortuitous late-season run in 2004, they had a better season in 2005 but couldn’t overcome the might of the Tigers, losing heavily to them three times in the season’s final few months. Since then…they threw away a brilliant start in 2006, they somehow made it to the prelim final in 2007 without any decent forwards and with Feral playing without two shoulders and stunk it up in 2008.

Yet the Cowbores somehow escape any media criticism for their lack of results. Mention the Cowbores to most media commentators and have your sick bucket at the ready…”Matty Bowen, what a player, an excitement machine!!!!....Thurston to Bowen, what a combination!” These comments might be credible if they were accurate for more than a few times a season.

If they could play at somewhere near the level they showed on Friday night, they would be a legitimate shot at a premiership and deserving of their massive amount of kudos. But there has rarely been a bigger ‘if’ in the history of the world…

KHunt’s greatest skill might be his evasiveness…but he’s no Michael Jordan.

Much has been said on Karmichael Hunt’s jaw-dropping mid-career code change. Most of the good points have already been made a number of times since last Wednesday (for an excellent summary of everything KHunt, see Phil Gould’s article from Sunday’s SMH) but there are some left to be made.

To paraphrase a point made by Gould, if KHunt wanted a challenge, he could have stayed at the Broncos and helped them out of the rather massive hole they are currently in. Signing Folau for $400m or whatever ludicrous amount they paid for him whilst letting key forwards Stagg, Hannant, Ennis and Eastwood leave (and keeping Joel Clinton) has proven to be an incredibly bad decision from what is usually a smart club when it comes to player signings. Did Bennett approve of this before he left? Or did he approve knowing it would ruin the club which didn’t want him any longer? Whatever the reason, KHunt showed on Saturday night he does not possess the aptitude or the attention span to stick around when times are tough and do the hard work.

KHunt mentioned that he made an impromptu trip to Melbourne the day after Brisbane’s game against the Tigers in Sydney. How did he throw his team-mates and club officials off the scent? A visit to his dealer perhaps? (This would have met with Hodges’ seal of approval). This was just a few days after Joel Clinton brought a girl back to his hotel room (which cost him a massive fine); surely lying to your team-mates is the worse offence???

Speaking of KHunt’s attention span though, it has been documented on several occasions that he is not a fan of watching NRL at all; he’d rather be on his PlayStation or watching NBA. Hopefully, KHunt’s decision was not influenced by Michael Jordan and his stint playing baseball over 18 months in the mid 1990s. Not because Jordan was a failure at a game he loved as a child, but because Jordan’s time away from basketball has been rumoured to be a gambling-related suspension (rather than time away from basketball due to burnout).

Given KHunt’s rather dubious extra-curricular activities, he may be trying a little too hard to be Like Mike, but it’s hard to see KHunt returning to the NRL in two years and dominating the game like Jordan did. Farewell KHunt; hope the toilet cubicles in Melbourne are large enough for you.

Penrith, Newcastle, Parramatta (in addition to the Gold Coast) took a trip in the NRL time machine — but had differing views on what they saw.

The Gold Coast’s return to their form of late 2007 and 2008 has already been discussed, but the time machine was in use for a number of other teams this weekend.

Newcastle is a very similar team to the Gold Coast; quite young (as a combination), well coached and overachieving (until the last few weeks). It is perhaps not a surprise both teams have (finally) dropped off, but it is probably somewhat more disturbing for Newcastle, given their team was relatively more intact than Gold Coast’s and they were up against less talented opposition. While it can be understood that the Roosters had the motivation of playing for their 2010 coach and losing the wooden spoon, Newcastle’s effort was just not good enough.

In years gone by, Penrith was always a risk of losing when expected by most to win, while they were also a risk of winning when expected by most to lose. These traits looked to have disappeared this season and they were more ‘predictable’ than they had been but the last two weeks has seen their notorious inconsistency return.

Their impressive win in Townsville was followed up by a woeful first 52 minutes against the Warriors, but somehow Penrith escaped from this amazing game with a point. The return of their inconsistency may not be a problem this week (when they play the Dragons), but they will need to perform well against the likes of Brisbane and Souths if they are to play in September this year.

Finally, Parramatta have been very poor against lesser NRL teams this season and some expected a fired-up Cronulla would continue this trend, but Parramatta’s great run of success at Woolooware and a winning streak and solid form which reminds many of their late run in 2006 was further built upon on Sunday as they thrashed the gallant Sharks.

Hayne and Watmough are…well…’men against boys’ does not do them justice

Put simply, Jarryd Hayne and Anthony Watmough are running rampant over their opposition each week at the moment. Parramatta and Manly have played some impressive teams in recent weeks but this has not slowed down Hayne or Watmough. They also dominated the latter State of Origin games and have continued their form into this part of the NRL season — very few players can claim this last point.

More impressively for Hayne, his form has largely occurred without any significant help from his team-mates. As Parramatta’s winning run has continued, so has the help Hayne has received, which bodes well for the Eels, but early on, he was almost a one-man band.

Watmough is part of perhaps the best forward pack in the NRL, but his all-round efforts — his defence is hard-hitting without being hit or miss, his dummy half runs and hole running are both exemplary — mean he can have a significant influence on a game without making the highlights on the news. But he was everywhere against the Tigers last night, scoring tries, at dummy half, in defence and for 80 frenetic minutes as well.

It is hard — very hard — to repeat as NRL premiers (Or…to soar without wings and a sense of direction is extremely difficult).

Unfortunately for Watmough, his team is hard-working but dumb. Manly should have handily defeated the Tigers last night, but failed to exploit the holes in the Tigers’ hard-working but ultimately sloppy defence until it was too late.

Also, their attack near the opposition goal-line was once again dumb. Too much sideways movement and a poor kicking game from Matt Awful and Jamie Lyon meant the Tigers’ new-found verve in defence was very effective in the first 50 or so minutes.

However, Manly’s endurance and greater physical capability meant they were able to come home extremely strongly once it became apparent the Tigers were happy with 19 points on the board. Tony Williams — The Comatose Giant — awoke from his year-long slumber to score an incredible try (then fell asleep once again) but it was Watmough and his skilful hole-running which dramatically cut into the Tigers’ lead.

Manly’s other winger, David Williams, almost scored after TCG’s effort to start the years of work needed to make up for his horrific first-half blunder but was just pushed into touch. For those who missed it, Robbie Farah miscued a field goal late in the first half and the ball fell to Wolfman. Channelling former Eel Paul Carige and his infamous semi-final blunder from 1998, Wolfman decided a long kick straight to the Tigers was the best play here. Unfortunately, Benji Marshall decided against the field goal attempt (as took place after Carige’s blunder), which would have been a brilliant moment.

While the theatre of the moment was not lost on anyone watching the game, this may prove to be the end of the Wolfman. Perhaps his best characteristic was his ability to shrug off mistakes and continue to run the ball fast and hard. Origin tested him as he hadn’t been tested before, but no matter how many mistakes he made and how many times Inglis palmed him off, his self-confidence remained strong. But in the second half last night…David Williams (sans beard) was a wreck. The Tigers sensed this and pressured him relentlessly; fortunately he made no more howling errors (like Carige did).

Those with a greater sense of history would remember fellow winger Steve Mavin and his catastrophic display against Canberra in week 2 of the finals in 1987. After a number of blunders and Canberra on the way to a cricket score, he was replaced and left the ground quickly. Mavin’s career was not as doomed as Carige’s but Wolfman would hope his career is not like either...but it could be possible.

Despite all of Manly’s problems, they still should have won, as the Tigers faded. Alas, Matt Awful missed one field goal and was on the way to a horrendous miss, before the charge-down gave Manly the ball again inside the last minute. The Tigers’ defence was shot and stranded on the line; Awful didn’t know whether to shape for the field goal and the certain win in golden point or the match-winning try as the ultimate knockout punch. Both options were very available, but Awful went for the lowest percentage option and failed with his fling pass to TCG.

In many ways, this game represented Manly’s season so far: a wonderful team on paper, looking (at times) world-beating, but just off their game enough in some key areas so that success is so close but yet so far. At their best, they could very well repeat as premiers, but the effort they’ve had to expend this season after their slow start, the additional workload of their Origin players and the accrued ‘miles on the clock’ means that a Manly premiership win will be somewhat harder work than it was in 2008. Perhaps the return of Brett Stewart will be the catalyst they need (and will help them to put either Wolfman or TCG — or both — into reserve grade), but it would be no disgrace after all they’ve had to endure if they do not repeat as premiers; it is extremely difficult.

See you next week.

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Round 20: It's a Small World After All...

In the collision sport of Rugby League, where size and strength are such important characteristics for almost every player, it seems somewhat counter-intuitive that it is the smaller players who will most likely determine their team’s success (or lack thereof) in a given season but it is well-known across the NRL.

After all, it is relatively easy to get size and strength; these characteristics can be acquired and developed via hard work. But the characteristics of the smaller men in the NRL — their speed, their guile, their playmaking instinct, their “nose” for a possible try-scoring situation — are more often than not much more difficult to come by than size and strength.

Not surprisingly, by extension, there is not much of a difference between the size and strength of most NRL playing rosters, but the “smaller men” characteristics are not so evenly distributed: for the most part, those teams with the more talented smaller men usually succeed, in a given round and over the course of a season.

Round 20 was no exception; below are the smaller men who led their teams to victory over the weekend and/or have played a significant role in their team’s success so far this season.

Manly: Ben Farrar and Kieran Foran.

Some may wonder why Matt Awful’s name is not listed as Manly’s most important smaller man. Basically, it is because Awful is a follower, not a leader. Apart from a game or two every few months, he really only shines when Manly is dominating their opposition. Perhaps his snide surname should be Hayden…?

Anyway, Manly’s recent resurgence has largely coincided with the infusion of some youthful exuberance and speed into the backline in the form of Ben Farrar and Kieran Foran. Manly would have been doing cartwheels when the Cowbores said they were happy to take Michael Bani off their hands in exchange for Ben Farrar. Farrar’s versatility, his speed and ability to find the tryline have given Manly’s backline a boost as they continue to overcome the loss of Brett Stewart.

Meanwhile, Foran’s emergence has given Manly their first real five-eighth since…Cliffy? Or maybe Luke Williamson? Anyway, Manly coach Des Hasler is reluctant to play kids unless absolutely necessary, so you know Foran is a very good player if Hasler is finding room for him in his line-up. These two have helped spark Manly’s run of late and were important in their excellent win over Newcastle. Sure, Newcastle might have been missing several key players, but for Manly to produce such an efficient effort with the ball after their unnecessarily hard win against Cronulla must have been very encouraging for all concerned.

Gold Coast: Preston Campbell

This could easily have been the tackling machine Nathan Friend (who laboured in pain to another amazingly lion-hearted effort against Brisbane) but it is Campbell, at age 48 (a slight exaggeration perhaps…but you know he will still be playing at close to his current level by then), who is most important for the Titans. Even more so than Scott Prince, as the Titans showed earlier in the season when they won several difficult matches without him.

Campbell has great utility value, can tackle some of the biggest men in the game (this is incredible when you remember back to his Penrith days where his defensive nous seemed gone) and has the amazing but quite contradictory parts of his game where he can create a try out of nothing but also play the percentages when it is required. Yes, the Titans have up-and-comer Zillman and veteran Mat Rogers to play Campbell’s usual positions, but neither of those has enjoyed much good form this season, making Campbell’s value to the Titans even greater.

Campbell and his team mates earned a rare half hour off after demolishing Brisbane in the game’s first 50 minutes on Friday night. Rarely have three late tries meant as little as those from the extremely weakened Broncos.

Parramatta: Daniel Mortimer

Parramatta’s incredible form of late — where they produced some brilliant play against the NRL’s best but have been patchy and inconsistent against teams closer to their ladder position — has been largely due to Jarryd Hayne, who has been white-hot in recent months. Not even the heavy workload of the State of Origin series has worn him down (as it has for so many others).

However, following closely behind Hayne has been rookie half Daniel Mortimer. In just a few short games — where his debut in the NRL was apparently fast-tracked due to the Eels’ shortage of halves — it has become quickly apparent that Mortimer is more than good enough to have a long NRL career. With the ball, his sharp playmaking and kicking instincts have surprised opponents and set up a number of important Parramatta tries and his speed and toughness (cliché alert) have reminded many of his Uncle Steve.

In defence, even though he is only relatively slight, he is a confident and solid defender. Perhaps the best compliment about his defence is that you rarely notice it: he is not being brushed off for opposition tries or exploited for his lack of experience.

Mortimer and his team-mates’ defence was given a solid examination by the Bulldogs on Saturday night and passed with flying colours. However, it must be said that the Bulldogs’ examination paper, while quite lengthy, was one of the easier ones they’ve handed out this year (although the old women supervisors were their usual annoying selves, finding a number of trivial infractions against the Parramatta students and that Jamal Idris’ question late in the first half was actually legitimate….ok I’ve tortured this metaphor enough)

Penrith: Michael Jennings…and many others

Despite a number of injuries to experienced leaders of their team, Penrith has continued to win games: they have probably overtaken Newcastle as the dark horse for premiership success (if some of these injured stars can return in coming weeks).

Why have they been faring quite well still? Their smaller men, underrated by many, are some of the best in the NRL. Michael Jennings has returned from Origin and is dominating the NRL. Most importantly for Penrith, his speed and acceleration have seen his try-scoring tally explode in recent weeks, while Penrith have won their last 7 games when Jennings has played.

However, players such as Jarrod Sammut, Paul Aiton, Michael Gordon and Luke Walsh have all made their mark this season. Sammut’s quite incredible range of skills (some of which are not necessarily useful on an NRL field — such as his spinning a rugby league ball on his index finger basketball-style for a solid 10 seconds in the pre-game warm-up on Saturday night — but are still amazing all the same) mean he is a threat to win a game for Penrith at any time. Equally, his confidence means he can make a game-turning mistake, but coach Matthew Elliott has realised letting him play creates the best environment for his talents to shine. One can only hope Penrith keeps Sammut at full-back when Lachlan Coote returns from injury.

Aiton’s improved play from dummy half and Gordon’s solid play (which really only became obvious during his long period with injury) and very reliable goal-kicking have also become vital for Penrith, but their season moved in the right direction when they signed halfback Luke Walsh from Newcastle. Penrith had been crying out for a halfback since Gower left and Wallace was given away to Brisbane and Walsh’s maturity beyond his years and playmaking nous have made him a perfect addition to a talented but rudderless team.

However, they were somewhat lucky to come away from Townsville with two points on Saturday night. Clearly the Cowbores still had Origin hangover, but were also missing Payne and O’Donnell once again. Feral Thurston probably needs a good break (although without the Stilnox and Red Bulls this time)…but most of the second half saw the Cowbores with a lead and attacking Penrith’s line.

But Penrith largely held true and found their way down the field quite easily where their vim and vigour was simply too much for the Cowbores. Jennings snapped up any try-scoring opportunity that came his way, Sammut’s bravery sealed the win while Gordon….basically broke the rules to score his try. However, the video referee didn’t think so and Penrith emerged with an important win.

Melbourne: Billy Slater

While his State of Origin club mates have all been in need of a week (or more) on the sidelines of late, Slater has continued to turn up for work every game and actually do more than his normal workload. In their game against Parramatta on Monday night (when Smith and Finch were both absent), Slater spent a fair amount of time at dummy half and five-eighth as well as his normal fullback position and rarely looked fatigued despite this heavier workload. Whereas anything not involving running was something of a difficult task for Slater in years gone by, he is now almost a fairly good playmaker and more than capable dummy half replacement after many years of working on his game.

Slater once again rose to the week-in week-out challenge of NRL Rugby League on Saturday night as Cronulla tried to make it back-to-back wins in Melbourne and a quite intriguing game took place. Slater set up Melbourne’s first try, but Cronulla was next to score — well into the second half. This was despite a fairly significant in-game injury toll, including Trent Barrett twice knocking himself out on Brett White. It was hard to tell what was more amazing: the fact that these two players came together in such a way twice or that White knocked someone out without having team-mates holding his opponent’s arms.

While Cronulla lost several players, they had much good attacking ball and the Storm was missing a number of key players after their tough game against Parramatta. For Melbourne’s makeshift defence to concede just one try while the game was up for grabs was quite the achievement…although Cronulla could quite rightly argue that their attack may have been somewhat more capable without so many injuries. Either way, it was a well-deserved runaway win for Melbourne, but Cronulla was certainly very brave.

Wests Tigers: Tim Moltzen and Shannon Gallant.

The Tigers’ season has turned around since Tim Moltzen was shifted to halfback (his correct position), John Morris was shifted from five-eighth to utility off the bench (mostly lock…also his correct position) and Shannon Gallant was given another chance in the fullback role (which is his…you guessed it…correct position). It only took Tim Sheens 16 rounds to realise the error of his team selection ways (or 68 rounds in the case of John Morris): this guy is somehow the Australian coach? Amazing…

Anyway, better late than never I suppose, but encouragingly for the Tigers, their thrashing of Canberra on Sunday featured defence. Do not adjust your sets; the Tigers won a game on the back of tackling hard and disrupting another team’s attack.

After getting to a 6-nil lead after Moltzen stepped through a sizeable gap, the Tigers’ defence (with one contribution from the video referee) held Canberra out repeatedly over the next few minutes. As yet another set of Canberra tackles looked set to fail, a desperate Dugan offload was intercepted by Moltzen and returned 90 metres for a 12-nil lead. The game was basically won at this point.

Gallant helped extend the lead when he took an offload from Todd Payten and zoomed down the sideline before kicking inside for Morris. There’s every chance of the Tigers’ recent good form being another late-season tease before a legitimate team (which will probably be Parramatta in Round 24) ends their season, but there is no doubt the Tigers are fun to watch when they play well. This just might see the Tigers extend Sheens’ contract once again — ensuring entertaining mediocrity for another few seasons.

St George Illawarra: Jamie Soward

First place on the ladder (four points clear). Everyone back from injury. A well-timed bye after the end of Origin. The best defence in the NRL. Their opponents had the worst attack in the NRL. A clear and sunny day forecast (so as the inferior opponents couldn’t rely on the conditions to even up the contest). Yep, everything seemed perfect for the Dragons on Sunday when they took on New Zealand. Perhaps a little too perfect; the Dragons have a tendency over many years of playing poorly when they should register a crushing win.

It turned out that not everything was perfect for the Dragons: Jeremy Smith was a late scratching in his efforts to come back from a very long injury layoff while Matt Cooper also missed the game, but it barely mattered. The game proceeded almost exactly as coach Wayne Bennett would have wanted (and very similar to their win over the Tigers a month ago): early points for a strong lead and then tackling and defensive practice. The pathetic Warriors attack tried hard, but was lucky to reach 4 points, while Jamie Soward again led his team to a comfortable win.

Soward’s emergence as a dominating, confident playmaker has perhaps been the story of the season so far. Under the excellent coaching of Bennett, Soward has become a leader. His decision-making is first-rate, his execution of plays is flawless, his all-round kicking game (long kicks, short kicks, bombs, field goals and goal-kicking) is perhaps the best in the game…but his blinding speed always seems to be worth a try or two as well. You’d have to imagine he will cool off at some point in the weeks ahead, but the Dragons are deserved favourites to win the premiership this season with Soward running the team.

Souths: Jamie Simpson

Last night saw Souths beat their third straight sub-par opponent…although you can only beat the teams you’re drawn to play, right? Despite the 20-point win, it was a scratchy overall effort in a game where, apart from a few bursts of intensity, little great play was seen. Perhaps Souths got a little bit bored…hard to blame them really, but the degree of difficulty of their opponents is set to increase markedly in coming weeks. This should provide a welcome challenge and give them a good idea of where they’re at.

Another strange characteristic of Souths’ recent run has been that it has not coincided with any stellar play from most of their smaller men. Luke, Sandow, Merritt and Wing have all shown glimpses and will most likely have to lift in coming weeks, but their play has not been spectacular. Instead, Souths’ best smaller man recently has been winger Jamie Simpson, whose inspired charges and surprising speed have been a catalyst. He is somewhat unsteady under the high ball though…this could be considered a metaphor for Souths as a whole: capable of brilliance but also very likely to be brought undone by simple mistakes.

Some of them are difficult to spot, but keep an eye on the smaller men over the next few months. Chances are the team celebrating on the last Sunday of the season will have several very good ones. Or maybe a team will fluke premiership success with someone like Shane Perry in a key position….? See you next week.

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Round 19: Origin 3: The Fallout

A fairly crazy Round 19 of NRL action had its genesis — in two ways — in last Wednesday’s night epic State of Origin.

Every State of Origin match is played at a speed and intensity several levels above a typical NRL match. Despite this, most Origin players are typically able to back up for their NRL teams on the following weekend, with many of these players able to play starring roles despite heavy legs, bumps, bruises and sometimes even injuries picked up from the previous Wednesday night.

However, last Wednesday’s State of Origin match was such a battle with such physical and mental consequences that most players were either unable to back up for their NRL club (due to injury, possessing the will but not the ability to fight or just general soreness) or posted a far from spectacular performance. This was even seen with those who have an excellent reputation of backing up for their NRL club after Origin.

In addition to the effect of last Wednesday night on the individual Origin player, it also hit those teams with more Origin players quite hard. The State of Origin series and — to, a lesser extent, Test Matches — has become quite the vital cog in the NRL’s parity strategy — albeit with a lag. As a team makes the move from cellar-dweller to contender, this usually leads to players from that team moving into representative teams. However, a preference from representative selectors for those players who have ‘done it before’ can mean that some teams enter their decline whilst possessing a greater-than-average percentage of representative players (and some teams can make their ascent up the NRL ladder without much of a representative cohort e.g. Manly prior to this year).

In Round 19, following such a brutal Origin game, it was perhaps not surprising to see a number of teams with fewer players from Origin 3 faring better than their more Origin-represented opponents. Perhaps not coincidentally, it was those teams with Queensland Origin players who suffered the most in Round 19, led by the stunning capitulation of the Broncos on Friday night.

As often seems to happen with visiting teams at Suncorp Stadium, Souths started quite strongly against Brisbane, but Brisbane seemed keen for a battle — at least when they had the ball. As the game neared half time, Souths held a 10-6 lead but both teams looked dangerous: a high-scoring game seemed certain, but the explosion of points which soon followed from Souths — and the very easy manner in these points came — was still quite a shock.

While Brisbane was missing Origin players Lockyer and Thaiday, it is important to note that their left side defence — the side Souths attacked relentlessly — was intact. In other words, it was almost inexplicable to see Souths causing carnage every time they passed the ball right and ran. You’d have to think Brisbane would have done something to stop the bleeding if Lockyer and Thaiday would have played, or if their other Origin players Hunt and Hodges had anything to back up their initial 20 minutes’ worth of verve, but this should not detract from the awesome manner of Souths’ victory.

Alas, for supporters of the much-maligned but now on-fire Souths’ five-eighth John Sutton, the two highlights from this game which will be seen for years to come will be Colin Best’s momentum being halted by a sideline cameraman and referee Tony De Las Heras’ consciousness being (briefly) halted by Tonie Carroll’s knee. You’d have to think Carroll and his team mates wished their memory of this slaughter was erased as well…

While Brisbane have gone from a team who would win after every Origin game to a rabble in just a few short years, perhaps the greatest shock in this post-Origin weekend was the rubbish game played by Feral Thurston at Leichhardt on Sunday. Feral is acknowledged as the best player in the NRL at backing up after representative games, but his insipid effort was a major factor behind the Cowbores being well beaten by the Tigers.

It wasn’t the best of weeks for the Feral. Firstly, he was lucky to even be playing for the ‘Bores in this game. As David Williams fortuitously received the ball from Billy Slater in the in-goal area last Wednesday night and went (rather clumsily) to put the ball down, Feral was in the vicinity and, recalling the lessons he’d received from Billy Slater, tried to position his legs under Williams so as to avoid the try being scored.

Someone obviously forgot to tell Feral that Billy is a world-class athlete, with training in gymnastics and equestrian, not to mention 6 years’ experience at the Bellamy Robot School in Melbourne. Feral, on the other hand…well, as an athlete, he makes a pretty good play-making halfback. It can only be assumed that body control and flexibility was one of the last characteristics acquired in the evolution of man….? Whatever the reason, Feral’s attempted try-saving manoeuvre resulted in a swift boot being delivered to the face of Williams.

Further proof of Feral’s Neanderthal-Like behaviour came in the aftermath to this incident, where he joined the Lleyton Hewitt Hall of Fame for telling NSW Captain Kurt Gidley (after Gidley told the referees about Feral’s actions with his boot) to “Shut up, you spastic!”

Somehow, incredibly, Feral received the lightest of charges from the judiciary and was able to play on Sunday but even with this good fortune, the end of a long representative season told on him and he (and his team) stunk.

The Tuesday Roast, as you are all no doubt well aware, takes great pride in objectivity and providing a balanced discussion of the week in the NRL. However, the sight of the Tigers giving the Cowbores a hiding at the home of Rugby League (Leichhardt Oval) with Feral (“Australia says NO!”) having a shocker remains, unequivocally, the best in the game.

Feral’s week was topped off by this description of him from the radio show Fire Up! (on FBI 94.5FM) last Friday morning as they led into referring to his botched try-saving attempt and subsequent spastic comment…”But Johnathan Thurston…he’s on the jungle juice, we don’t know what concoction he’s on, but they’ve got something up at North Queensland, we don’t know what it is. He’s sprouting acne around his neck, he’s got hair in places you shouldn’t have. His veins pop like Jack Nicholson in The Shining. He’s got eyes to match and he came up with a classic…. And let’s not forget he has to wear headgear to restrain those Dumbo-like ears, because if he doesn’t wear his headgear and he puts on a spurt, he’ll fly over the top of the defence!”

Ahh brilliant! Anyway…the Tigers got off to a slow start as the ‘Bores jumped to an 8-nil lead, but the Tigers halted the ‘Bores’ momentum and cut the lead to 2. But the key moment in the game came in the lead-up to this try, when Anthony Watts — a former protégé of Paul Gallen at Cronulla — responded to what he thought was an elbow in the scrum by king-hitting Robbie Farah. The key response came when the referees deemed Watts’ actions worthy of….a warning. A warning! Watts, a grub and a thug with a history of disgusting on-field conduct, was lucky to stay on the field!

Thankfully the Tigers sorted out this oversight in the next scrum and, in doing so, made the task of seeing rather more difficult for Watts over the next few days. Not even seeing his team mate get beaten up could fire up Feral, but the Tigers dominated the next 20 minutes, before easing off for a while, then finishing with a flourish. The ‘Bores definitely missed the usual post-Origin Feral, but also his injured Origin team mate Matt Scott.

The other NRL team to feature a number of Queenslanders is Melbourne and while their overall effort last night against Parramatta wasn’t too bad, it was not enough to match that of the Eels, who were at their best. Melbourne was missing Smith, while Dallas Johnson and Greg Inglis were far from their normal selves (although Billy Slater had a very good game) but Parramatta would have beaten most teams in the NRL with their excellent combination of all-round intensity and desperate defence.

It was Nathan Hindmarsh’s 250th game, but Jarryd Hayne — again — was the star of the show. He was a threat almost every time he touched the ball, he was increasingly involved in playmaking and kicking but his battle against Slater was….just awesome. The viewing public was treated to a clash between two of the best players in the NRL, both at or near their best, both exhibiting extreme competitiveness and both being very important to their team’s chances of victory.

When Parramatta scored 8 points early in the second half (and probably should have had 14 if it wasn’t for an unnecessary Krisnan Inu double movement) with Hayne playing a pivotal role, it seemed as though Hayne would win the battle, but when Melbourne continued to close the deficit despite time running out (where Slater was crucial), the outcome was somewhat less certain.

In the end, Hayne (and Parramatta) triumphed, in part to Parramatta’s excellent on-line defence after reaching their 12-point lead. They denied what appeared to be a number of certain Melbourne tries (although they were a touch lucky when Hayne appeared to bounce the ball, rather than ground it, in his in-goal area) and made the Storm run out of time.

But while the Storm stars were probably justified in feeling a little tired after Origin, the same could not be said for Hayne, who continued his white-hot form of recent months. Has he been going through the motions since bursting on to the scene 3 years ago and, as a result, has a surplus of energy and enthusiasm? How does he have the energy to continue to play at such a high level after a full representative season?! Amazing…

The other two games featuring a high number of Origin players were Cronulla v. Manly and the Bulldogs v. Gold Coast. The Cronulla v. Manly game was one of the more bizarre games seen this season. With Manly’s strong defensive record, Cronulla’s so-so attack and the slippery night conditions making scoring difficult, a tight low-scoring game was expected by many. Instead, the first half saw 38 points, with mistake after mistake being punished for tries by both teams. Clearly, Manly’s Origin players did not have the requisite approach for this game and Cronulla’s youthful exuberance benefited, as they took a 6-point lead to half-time.

But the second half…was the exact opposite. Manly dominated possession and field position but their attack was far too predictable (even for a novice defence such as Cronulla’s) and not nearly threatening enough. Manly was big and strong and ran hard, but it was mostly sideways: it was like a team of lumberjacks trying to cut down a tree with a butter knife.

If Cronulla’s Jack Afamasaga didn’t throw a stupid offload to Manly’s Watmough, Barrett would not have been sin-binned and Manly would probably still be trying to score a second-half try. But Barrett’s sin-binning saw Cronulla open up and allow an easy try and eventually Manly overwhelmed the tiring Cronulla defence. You’d have to say though this required far more effort than was necessary.

On Friday night, the Bulldogs proved that backing up from Origin successfully was not that difficult as they were quite clinical in defeating the Gold Coast. This season, the Titans have been at their best when playing highly rated teams and their bare-minimum win over Parramatta last Monday night suggested they had their eye on the Bulldogs and another big-name scalp. Unfortunately for them, the Bulldogs also had their eye on this game (especially after losing to the Titans earlier in the season). Their early-game dominance rendered the Titans’ effort (which usually — at the very least — neutralises good teams, allowing their speed to score points) almost useless and saw them jump out to a handy lead.

The Bulldogs’ cause was boosted by the surprise return of Jamal Idris; he brushed aside Mat Rogers with ease before racing away for a try. But the Bulldogs’ lead was probably not as large as it should have been and when continued (and increasingly varied) Gold Coast attacking plays finally came off, the game got a far closer finish than it probably should have had. Kimmorley sealed the win with a late field goal, but he, Patten (NSW 18th man), Ennis and Morris all had excellent games for the Bulldogs.

The final 2 games in Round 19 had only minimal Origin players involved, but their results can still be linked to last Wednesday night. Admittedly, the link was somewhat tenuous in the Penrith v. Canberra game, where Canberra had a horrible first half with refereeing decisions. There weren’t a number of clear cut mistakes but Penrith almost always received the benefit of a doubtful decision during the first 40 minutes as they accrued an 18-0 lead. But Canberra’s forward grunt was limited by the absence of Queenslander Shillington and an injury to New South Welshman Learoyd-Lahrs (as well as to Alan Tongue); by the time Canberra was competitive in this game, the damage was done.

Lastly, the Warriors broke their drought (point-scoring and winning) in a late win against the Roosters. Without the wannabe pugilist Price, the Warriors looked to have finally (maybe) turned the corner after falling behind 12-0 and 18-6 to the Roosters. A team with a bit more in the tank than the Roosters might well have punished the Warriors as they tired in the second half, but it was ultimately a deserving win for them, as they finally stood up without their forward leader.

In most seasons, there is a definite post-representative letdown seen for those NRL teams with a significant number of Origin players; one would expect this letdown to be somewhat more pronounced this season given the above-average intensity of the final two Origin games and the high number of players carrying injuries in these games. It should be an intriguing next few weeks ahead. See you next week.

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Round 18 - Manly v. Bulldogs: A Closer Look

While many considered last Monday night’s Manly – Bulldogs game to be one of the best – if not the best – seen so far this season, it was rather unfortunate scheduling for those without Fox Sports or unable to get to Brookvale. How Channel 9 passed on this game when scheduling for Friday night (or even Sunday afternoon) – while showing the St George Illawarra v. Roosters and Penrith v. Parramatta games instead – remains a mystery.

However, another victim of Channel 9’s baffling scheduling decision was the Tuesday Roast. Given the Tuesday morning publishing time, it follows that the Roast cannot be substantially rewritten after any Monday night game. This was disappointing (just quietly, how versatile is the word ‘disappointing’? It can be used to describe anything from game time weather to the worst of rugby league scandals) once it became apparent that this year’s edition of Manly v. Bulldogs at Brookvale was another classic.

With the shortened round 18 of the NRL providing few highlights or incidents worthy of a Roast of their own, below is a closer look at last Monday night’s epic.

In the lead-up to this game, Manly’s strong recent form, their need for this to continue to have a realistic shot at defending their title and the home-ground advantage meant they were a slight favourite with the bookmakers, but this reasoning ignored significant recent history between Manly and the Bulldogs.

Since Manly returned to the NRL elite in 2005, every Bulldogs’ visit to Brookvale has caused them problems. In 2005 and 2007, the Bulldogs scored 19-point victories, each of which saw long Manly home winning streaks come to an end. In (late) 2006, Manly only just got the win over the Bulldogs who were without Mason and Asotasi and who had already secured 2nd position (although Manly was without their inspirational leader Ben Kennedy), while last season, Manly finally secured a rare (relatively) easy win, although it was far from convincing against a Bulldogs team without Luke Patten.

For whatever reason in the NRL, some teams just happen to play well against others or at certain grounds; the Bulldogs at Brookvale is one of those combinations.

However, at the risk of enraging Manly supporters, the Bulldogs’ ongoing success at one of the more difficult venues in the NRL for opposing teams to score a win comes from their superior big-game mentality. The Bulldogs’ success over the last 30 or so years is built on the siege mentality, which is best seen in their important wins away from home. Typically, they know exactly how to approach big games and especially know the difference between big games during the season and big games during the finals. More on this later.

In contrast, Manly’s success in recent years has been built upon superior physical attributes than their opposition. Their backrowers possess an abnormal combination of size, strength, speed, agility, leadership, endurance and now (with Glenn Stewart) ball-playing ability. Their ability to play 80 minutes means their army of props (generally with superior physical conditioning to many) can be rotated and dominate. On the back of this, Manly’s kicking game, dummy half service and point scoring ability come from a very helpful base.

However, for those who can match Manly physically, the task of beating them is not nearly as difficult. In Matt Awful, they may have a halfback capable of (somehow) winning a Dally M Medal, but not nearly as capable of doing much to lead Manly to a difficult win. Partly because of Awful’s major limitations when his forwards are not dominant, but also because of the one-dimensional leadership of Des Hasler and legacy of Ben Kennedy, Manly’s typical response when placed under pressure – i.e. when the opposition does not break under the strain of Manly’s dominant forward pack – is, quite simply, to try even harder. In other words, they rarely try anything different or unusual to crack a team, but execute their normal game-plan at a higher intensity in the belief that their superior physical attributes will eventually break their opposition. This is especially the case for Manly without Brett Stewart, but even with him, his brilliance was only ever seen in maybe a handful of different game situations (such as him sweeping around behind the decoy runner or having an Awful wrong-way kick done for him to chase).

Last Monday night, Manly started strongly and, knowing that the Bulldogs were without props Hannant and Armit (and hence had a rather small team), tried to press home their advantage via their size. But Manly’s attack was not quite in rhythm and the Bulldogs’ defence didn’t allow any more than an early try: the fact that the Bulldogs did not break under this pressure and, perhaps, also due to memories of previous Bulldogs’ wins recurring in their head meant Manly started to…perhaps not panic, but feel less assured about their chances of winning.

So…they lifted, they tried harder. In 2005 and 2006, when Kennedy led Manly, this would happen in most games where Manly did not thrash their opposition: Manly would start strongly then fade a bit; subconsciously, the rest of the team was waiting for Kennedy to spark them. Since 2006, this pattern has not been as evident (and Manly’s winning percentage has been a fair bit higher), but the trend is still seen that, when they’re in a struggle (especially against a top team), their response is to keep it same, but do it harder.

Another sign of Manly’s inferior approach to this game was the slight changes to their game plan (or at least the play of certain individuals). Over the last two seasons, Manly used Jamie Lyon at five-eighth for much of the time, utilising (especially last season) his kicking game to take pressure off Awful. In 2009, following the signing of Chris Bailey, Lyon has stayed almost exclusively at centre, but he popped up at five-eighth again for much of this game.

Also, winger Dave Williams has made a name for himself during his relatively short time in the NRL for his hard and fast kick returns (which often bend back opposition defences). But we saw Williams introduce the pass (just before the line) into his repertoire early in this game, at times when he normally would rush into the defence.

Perhaps this was not a Hasler ploy, perhaps Williams was put off his game after Queensland jolted the ball loose on his runs in Origin 2, but the point with this (and with Lyon’s shift closer to the action) was that Manly had introduced some subtle changes to their game for this relatively unimportant (in the overall picture) match. It confirmed the always rather edgy Hasler was even more on edge for this game. In contrast, the Bulldogs have a long-established reputation for saving such slight adjustments for important games at the end of the season and kept within their set-up for all of this game.

The only times where the Bulldogs deviated from their “plan” was when several of their younger and less experienced players (as well as Michael Ennis – someone who really should have known better) got caught up in Manly’s (over)aggressiveness and gave away some quite unnecessary penalties for ill-timed aggression of their own. It became apparent fairly early on in this game that the Bulldogs needed to play smart and allow Manly’s aggressiveness and steadily increasing anxiety to be used against them and this almost happened (thanks to the excellent leadership of Kimmorley, Ryan, Patten, El Masri and (at times) Ennis) but, in the end, some dumb penalties given away by the Bulldogs probably cost them a win (along with some poor decision-making late on).

Manly jumped ahead fairly early and had significant amounts of good attacking possession over the next 20 or so minutes, but the Bulldogs held firm and looked gradually more threatening each time they attacked (although rarely had any good field position of their own). New Sea Eagle Ben Farrar was playing with enthusiasm but unfortunately he cost himself two tries through his haste during the first half.

When the Bulldogs scored with a rare venture into Manly’s area late in the first half, the arm-wrestle was on. Awful gave Manly a one-point half-time lead, but a L’Estrange spear tackle and a dumb defensive option by Glenn Stewart gave the Bulldogs a penalty goal and another try to Morris – and a 5-point lead.

Manly continued to enjoy quite good field position and had a number of attacking sets near the Bulldogs’ line, but with each Bulldog stop, the anxiety amongst Manly players and supporters grew: surely they can’t beat us here again?! Eventually, Manly’s weight of possession (aided by the aforementioned penalties and some errors) told and they scored in the corner. Incredibly, Awful – a notoriously poor goal-kicker – put his conversion attempt just inside the post and over the crossbar and Manly had a lead.

However, it seemed as though the Bulldogs would snatch a late victory. Despite their massive defensive workload, they had enough energy to enjoy several good attacking journeys in the game’s final 7 or 8 minutes, but took poor options on three occasions when field goal opportunities (and the potential for extra time) were on offer.

An incredible game like this deserved a great ending, and it came when Josh Perry picked up a loose pass and ran 30 metres to seal a famous win for Manly. While both teams were not quite at their best, they certainly played their hardest. A tight, absorbing, intense battle; it was a game for the ages.

Round 18 recap

Unfortunately, Manly’s passion on the field is also seen off the field as well. Specifically, they truly believe they are being hard done by when they have to play without their Origin players and truly believe the game would be better off if they could have their Origin players whenever possible. They conveniently ignore that virtually every good team since the early 1980s has had to make do without their Origin stars; it’s a fact of life for teams at the top in the NRL and a key plank in the NRL’s de facto measures to make the competition more even.

They should also thank their lucky stars they had such a small Origin representation last season (compared to Melbourne’s gargantuan contribution). Without this advantage, Melbourne is now shooting for three premierships in a row and Manly is nursing their wounds after their 11th grand final loss.

Yep, Manly was thrashed (although they competed for much of the game and was unlucky to concede a series of tries to the Dragons’ incredible speed) on Sunday and they had a whinge afterwards. It’s a little bit tough to blame your loss on missing players when your opposition was without just as many….

In other matches, Souths finally provided a glimpse of their potential as they soundly defeated Penrith. John Sutton led the way for Souths and is a serious threat for Orig…just kidding.

On Saturday, Newcastle’s inability to defeat teams below them on the ladder was set to be tested with the visit of the Raiders, but they received a major boost just three minutes into the game. No offence to Jarrod Mullen and his perhaps severe injury, but his loss meant Newcastle’s approach to the remainder of the game was similar to that of playing a top-four opponent: focus, intensity, a relatively simple game-plan and a huge defensive effort. Anything less without such an important player would have meant certain defeat. Their defence was outstanding, their attack was somewhat limited but did the job (led by the much-maligned Ben Rogers, who was forced into halfback but led his team brilliantly) and it was an amazing score-line of 23-4 in favour of a team who was dominated.

On Sunday, the Warriors had a brilliant opportunity to turn their season around: the 2008 Bulldogs (plus Stagg and Hodgson) came to town. The Warriors could have killed them early but didn’t and the severely limited Bulldogs (eventually) seized on this and threatened to post a big lead. It was only Andrew Ryan’s poor handling which prevented this, but then the Warriors – who can be so good when well behind – responded and took the lead back rather quickly. They had a number of chances to seal the win, but screwed them up or never got there and inexplicably allowed the Bulldogs to get all the way down field without anything more than running hard. They fully deserved their loss and will be nothing more than nuisance value from now on.

Finally last night, a rare thing happened: a team actually worried more about their next round opponent than their current round one. It does get talked about quite often, but this time, the Titans – with their next game just four days away (Friday vs. the Bulldogs) – thought 14 points was enough to beat Parramatta and pretty much stopped. They gave Parramatta about 50 minutes to beat them before firing up again for another 3 minutes to extend their lead slightly. They held on for the win in perhaps their least impressive effort this season.

Hopefully so much talk about Manly and the Bulldogs won’t make this Roast my least impressive effort of the season! Enjoy Origin, good luck trying to tip the ‘dead rubber’ and see you next week.

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Round 17: D'yawanna Seehaiku? (It’s a Question, Not the Newest Polynesian NRL Player)

A noteworthy feature of the NRL in 2009 has been the return of the older and wiser (relatively speaking) player. The factors which have driven the average age and number of older players in the NRL down over the last few decades (faster speed of game, bigger, stronger players and hence more force in every tackle, the salary cap remaining largely stagnant whilst salaries on offer elsewhere or in other sports have been rising, Reserve Grade’s gradual demotion from the First Grade curtain-raiser to sharing facilities with park Rugby League players and the increasing prevalence of NRL-ready physiques amongst up-and-coming teenage players) have been well-documented, but we may be witnessing an end to this trend. Thus far in 2009, a very important component to the success of those teams near the top of the ladder – while also improving the standing of some struggling teams – has been the increased presence of experience and wisdom, especially in the important playmaking positions.

The return of experience to the NRL has been seen in several forms. These include the star player (who, due to good luck, good management and a desire to continue playing in the NRL, continue to enjoy very successful careers well into “old age” e.g. Civoniceva, Price, Lockyer, El Masri, Simpson, Hindmarsh), the late career renaissance (those who have never left the NRL but may as well have, due to long-term injury, poor form, a dramatic improvement in coaching received or being stuck on a rubbish team before moving somewhere their talents come to the fore e.g. MacDougall, Chris Walker, Ryan, Kimmorley, Patten, Cooper, Campbell) and the return from elsewhere (otherwise known as “what time in the wilderness can do for a player’s perspective” e.g. Wendell, Stacey Jones, Brad Meyers, Barrett).

The most recent example of the value of experience culminated last week (but was apparently in the works for some time). Brisbane’s on-field experience was cut significantly over recent years and as the Broncos’ losing streak mounted, it became apparent that an older, harder head (and jaw) was needed. Enter Tonie Carroll, six months or so into a real estate agent career, but Brisbane’s fortunes turned around almost the instant after which he returned to the field on Friday night.

While it appears to be the end of the trend for more on-field youth in the NRL, it is hard to see the trend reversing: unless Rugby League once again fully embraces its working class roots, you won’t see most players debuting at age 23, you won’t see most clubs holding on to their veterans until they can no longer play and you won’t see older, smarter players receiving their due when they are on the open market.

However, it is not a stretch or an untruth to say that most NRL followers have enjoyed the return of the experienced player; the Tuesday Roast shares this sentiment. As a tribute to the experienced players of the NRL, this week’s Roast will incorporate literary techniques representative of cultures where experience and wisdom are highly sought-after and much-respected qualities. Yes, it’s Haiku time again.

St George Illawarra v. Sydney Roosters

A slow Dragons start
Was turned around after half
Powered by Soward

On paper, the top-of-the-table Dragons had a decided edge over the bottom-placed Roosters but, as long-time Dragons’ supporters will tell you, these are dangerous games. The supporters’ suspicions were confirmed in the first half, as a committed Roosters team played well above their ladder position to take a 6-point lead to half-time. While a slow start may have been expected by some, the TAB was sufficiently concerned by the Dragons’ effort to register them as only a slight favourite to come back and win.

As it turned out, the Dragons’ price for winning plummeted early in the second half as several penalties and a half-time adjustment or two (looking to pass wide so as to go around the Roosters’ compressed defence) saw the Dragons take the lead not long into the second half. As it was against the Tigers last week, it was Jamie Soward who led the way. His ever-improving decision-making meant it was raining opportunities for the Dragons’ right-side attack – first-time right centre Matt Prior scored two tries, while Wendell bagged one – before Soward finished off a solid win with yet another long-range, runaway try against the Roosters.

Brisbane v. New Zealand

For Un-Zid, it was
Must-win again, but Tunza
And DT were huge!

This game was the Warriors’ second in their South-East Queensland road trip and it was quite similar to their match against the Gold Coast last Saturday night. Again, the Warriors started very strongly but again, they couldn’t convert much of their advantage into points. And again, they chose a penalty goal, which turned out to be a poor choice, as their attacking opportunities dried up as the game went on.

But the story of this game was the dominance of Brisbane’s much-maligned Dave Taylor. He has shown glimpses of dominating games during his relatively short time in first grade, but his on-field time in first grade has reportedly been heavily reduced due to a poor attitude to training etc. For Brisbane to allow someone of such potential to sign elsewhere for next season suggests something is not right, but after watching Taylor put Warrior after Warrior on their back with barnstorming runs…surely these problems could have been worked through. Taylor could be one of the game’s great props.

One of Rugby League’s great locks in the last decade or so was Tonie Carroll. Little was expected from him in this game, his first game back after a comeback from retirement, but it was as if he’d never left. The hard runs off Lockyer on the edge of the ruck, the textbook crunching tackles…you get the impression he could play another few years (he may have to do this, of course, to put food on the table if life becomes much tougher in the Gold Coast real estate market).

Between Taylor and Carroll, Brisbane now had some punch in the forwards they’d been sorely lacking so far this season. This inspired Brisbane to come back from an early deficit and record a strong victory, with intensity and ball movement not seen in many matches (it was perhaps not a coincidence that Brisbane’s team play picked up once Folau went off injured).

Souths v. Wests Tigers

The Tigers are back…
…Sort of. Farah was great, but
Not much value here.

The first game on Saturday night was a tough one to tip, but also a tough one to watch: both the Tigers and Souths have been struggling mightily over the past month and beyond. While this game showed that Souths still have much work to do to in several areas – ‘on the field’ being the main one – the points-happy Tigers shouldn’t be too satisfied either. Once you score 36 points, there really shouldn’t be any nervousness, but this was the case as Souths mounted a mini-comeback and could have cut Wests’ lead to 12 with much time remaining.

However, when Simpson blew this chance, the Tigers steadied and added three more tries for a convincing win. Robbie Farah (a.k.a. the Ventriloquist) had a hand in almost every Tigers try, while Benji appeared more comfortable wearing number 6. Benji had some good moments but also some bad ones, but a sneaky highlight in this game came after Benji’s very questionable decision to try and set up Tuiaki for an inside pass near the Tigers’ goal-line saw Craig Wing knock the ball from Benji’s hands and lead to a Souths try. As replays of Benji’s silliness were being viewed, the music man played Katy Perry’s “Hot and Cold”: quite apt, really, for both Benji and the Tigers.

Melbourne v. Newcastle

Newcastle lift for
The big-name teams; but Storm
Hung tough, did enough

The bookmakers and (almost all) tipsters were pretty much unanimous: Melbourne just doesn’t lose two in a row, especially when the second game is at Olympic Park and even more so when their opposition is backing up five days after a Monday night game.

But this is not the same Melbourne Storm of 2006-2008: the Storm has had a number of close calls at home this season and really should have lost back to back games when the Warriors played them on ANZAC Day. Also, Newcastle is on the way to becoming a genuine premiership threat. Sure, they have troubles with consistency and disposing of teams they are expected to beat, but they have been nothing short of brilliant against teams above them on the ladder this season. Most importantly, Newcastle gave Melbourne two of their toughest games of 2008; a narrow loss at Olympic Park (where Melbourne’s reliance on Folau reached new heights – no pun intended) and an inspiring one-point win in Newcastle.

Despite being without veterans Simpson and MacDougall, Newcastle gradually dominated possession on Saturday night, but found points hard to come by due to a combination of excellent Melbourne defence and a very slippery surface. Nevertheless, Newcastle held a slim lead into the dying minutes of the game but just couldn’t hold on, as Inglis set up Chambers for the winning try.

Melbourne is somewhat difficult to decipher: at times, they appear brilliant, other times, they seem tired, but most of the time, they seem to do just enough (even if that’s not quite the plan) to win, especially at home. It remains to be seen how they will emerge from the Origin period; even in their best years, they have struggled to be near their best during this time.

North Queensland v. Cronulla

A tough one for the
Injury-hit Cowboys, but
They were just too good

An unusual challenge confronted Cronulla in the early minutes of their game against the Cowboys on Saturday night: their highly regarded opposition losing several important players. All of a sudden, Cronulla was not quite the rank outsiders many had expected them to be. They would have had the lead were it not for some excellent Cowboy defence and the archaic corner-post rule, but nevertheless a nil-all halftime score line against the Cowbores with Feral Thurston was a significant achievement.

The Cowboys lost another player to injury early in the second half; not necessarily a great player, but one hard to replace in the current interchange system (winger John Williams). This made their four-try burst to put the game out of the gallant Sharks’ reach even more impressive.

Canberra v. Gold Coast

Titans hate cold
Their Coast is Gold not cold, but
No thrashing this time

The Gold Coast has shown further improvement across many areas in their third season in the NRL. Even their winning percentage outside of Queensland – traditionally this has been poor – has increased towards fifty per cent.

But for some reason, the Titans just cannot compete for 80 minutes in Canberra. True, their second half comeback was impressive – they really had no right to have a chance at tying the score in the game’s final seconds – but they should never have been down 28-6 at halftime. It was simply too easy for Canberra, who played well, but not at the same level as they did when beating Melbourne last week.

Canberra’s monster forward pack again laid the platform against the injury-hit Titans but the unlikely duo of Phil Graham and Josh Miller each picked up two tries, which reflected shoddy play on the part of the Titans: Graham hasn’t outpaced any serious opposition since before his terrible run with injury, while Miller’s two close-range tries spoke volumes about Gold Coast’s on-line defence.

To compound matters, after Canberra lost winger Justin Carney to a horrible broken leg, the Titans failed to explore opportunities on Carney’s side of the field (the right side) where it is well known that Canberra’s defence was shoddy even when Carney was present. Canberra has to play a lumbering forward in their outer right-side defence, but Prince and others failed to test the resilience of Canberra’s makeshift defensive combination. Overall, it was another poor afternoon in Canberra for the Titans, although at least it was no annihilation this time.

Penrith v. Parramatta

A Wild West Shootout
But with bullets of rubber;
Defence > round de-field

A packed suburban ground, a cool but sunny afternoon, a local derby and both teams in need of a win: the ingredients for a fast, entertaining game at Penrith on Sunday afternoon were seemingly all ticked off. But it became clear from quite early on that both teams had left their desire to defend as a team in the change rooms or on the bus. There were many points scored but labelling many of these as ‘try’ would have been exaggerating things just a tad.

However, the game ended up being quite entertaining (as long as you didn’t look too closely at the ease with which points came) as the game featured a number of lead changes and a number of displays of attacking brilliance. Players such as Hayne, Mortimer and Hindmarsh for Parra and Jennings, Walsh and Paulo for Penrith wowed the crowd…but it seemed as though Parramatta had a slightly better attitude and, more importantly, the lead late in this game.

But the win – and perhaps Parramatta’s faint chances of making the top 8 – were snatched away by a combination of the lightning-quick Jennings and that Walsh and Graham got him early ball and space a number of times. His almost undefendable step allowed Penrith to re-take the lead for good with 4 minutes left and the first real defensive commitment of the afternoon from Penrith sealed the win.

Manly v. Bulldogs

A great rivalry
Manly (just); Dogs gutsy
Game of the season

Given other results during Round 17, but also for reasons of revenge and stating that their premiership defence was far from finished, this was a must-win game for Manly. Their play in the opening minutes reflected this; Manly generally plays with an intensity and force amongst the best in the NRL, but there was no doubt they were at their best in these key areas early on. Another motivation for their strong start would have been the smallish size of the Bulldogs’ forward pack.

Manly jumped to a 6-nil lead but couldn’t stretch this lead any further, despite major effort, and the Bulldogs felt more comfortable about themselves and their chance for victory as it became clear Manly’s efforts were rather inefficient at leading to points. To paraphrase a tenet of martial arts philosophy, it appeared that Manly’s (over)aggressive play could have led to their demise, due to smart but committed play from the Bulldogs.

This game eventually turned into an epic, as these two committed teams with somewhat different approaches traded the lead and good opportunities to win, before the outcome was decided in the game’s final minutes as Manly’s Josh Perry summoned the energy for one more run before sliding across the line.

How good was this game? Manly v. the Bulldogs at Brookvale has provided some of the better games in the NRL since 2005, but this was the best of the lot. It was so good, in fact, it deserves more than a few paragraphs; discussion of this epic will feature heavily in the upcoming Roast for Round 18.

On that note, sayonara and see you next week.

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Round 16: History – Is It That Those Who Cannot Learn From It Are Doomed To Make The Same Mistakes? Or Is It Bunk (More Or Less)?

The evenness and parity across the NRL in recent years masks the fact that some teams have a dominant record over a number of years over particular other teams. However, those who watch Rugby League on even a semi-regular basis would know that it is very possible for a lesser talented but wholly committed team to succeed over a more highly ranked team over 80 minutes if that team is under-strength, experiences injuries during the game or is in any way complacent.

This can make the (quasi) science (art?) of predicting NRL results quite difficult. Will a very definite trend in the results between two given teams continue in their next match, or will the team on the wrong end of the trend make a stand (possibly using the negative history as motivation)?

Round 16 in the NRL saw a distinct trend in past results between each pair of matched up teams, but the relevance of this trend was different across many of these matches. In other words, a vastly different line-up for some teams – as well as the impact of backing up from the recent State of Origin match on many of the highly ranked teams – threatened to render recent history almost irrelevant in many cases.

Or did it? Below is a look at the Round 16 matches with respect to what history suggested might happen.

Wests Tigers v. St. George Illawarra

History: Wests had won 6 of the previous 7 games between these teams (including possibly the best game ever in September 2005). For whatever reason, the Tigers’ attack always gave the Dragons problems. Also, the 2009 Dragons had struggled (relatively speaking) backing up off representative games.

Reality: Or perhaps this should say ‘reality check’. The final margin might have only been 11 points, but this was a Dragons’ thrashing. They were perhaps a touch lucky to not concede any Tigers points in the first 35 or so minutes, but the ease with which they scored 4 tries of their own and their very solid defence against their bogey team was top-shelf. The Tigers looked somewhat off their game, but the Dragons’ excellent defence made the Tigers’ attack look almost comatose at times. Jamie Soward led the Dragons’ attack with a brilliant game. His improved ability to decide which play to utilise after seeing what the defence is allowing him means he should now be considered for the NSW team for Origin 3.

In the aftermath, it was suggested that the Dragons were happy to score a good win so soon after Origin, but any signs of post Origin tiredness were rarely evident in the Dragons’ effort. For the Tigers, they haven’t looked so overmatched in a long time, but every cloud has a silver lining: news that John Morris had signed with Cronulla from 2010 brought a smile to even the most disappointed Tigers supporter.

Bulldogs v. North Queensland

History: The Cowboys won 6 of the last 8 games between these teams (although they hadn’t played in Sydney for almost 5 years). Obviously, the Bulldogs of 2009 is a much different team to that of previous years, but ANY team that plays the Cowboys after a representative game has to fear the seemingly indefatigable Feral Thurston. While the Cowboys were also missing Bowen and O’Donnell, the Bulldogs have had a historical tendency to drop games at home when they are favoured to win (as they were on Friday night).

Reality: The Cowboys were very competitive for much of this game, but ultimately this was another victory for the Bulldogs and especially their potent left-side attack of Roberts, Morris and Goodwin (the latter two of these should both be considered for the NSW team for Origin 3). Thurston was again excellent in backing up, but the Cowboys really missed O’Donnell and Bowen. Bowen may not be at his brilliant best at the moment, but the Cowboys miss him because they simply do not have another half-decent fullback.

Gold Coast v. New Zealand

History: While these teams have only ever played three times, Round 16 has been a turning point of these two clubs’ seasons in recent years. In 2007, the Warriors defeated the Titans to start the Titans’ losing run to end that season, while in 2008, the Titans lost their first home game of the season and started a run of 2 wins out of their final 11 games to end the season and miss the finals (again). A loss in this game would have been the Titans’ first home loss of the season and they were without a number of important players for this game (injuries were a distinct feature of their 2007 and 2008 meltdowns).

Meanwhile the Warriors have endured mid-season runs of futility before resurrecting their campaigns from approximately Round 16 during the last three seasons. In 2007, they did this with a win on the Gold Coast as they won 9 of their last 12, while in 2008, a Round 16 win over the Tigers was the start of an eight wins in 10 matches stretch. They finished 2006 by winning 8 out of 12, where the third win in this stretch came in Round 16.

Reality: Once again, the Titans proved to be very resilient. Time and time again this season, they have faced significant challenges and overcome most of them. Their depth is the best in the NRL and their incorporation of young talent into their line-up is done better than most. The Warriors started this game well, but the Gold Coast held them out and displayed a strong and open style of play to take a good lead to half-time, which became the foundation of another impressive win. The Titans seem to relish the challenge of overcoming a historical hurdle and getting a win without important players. The ageless Preston Campbell had another pearler – he could be a real chance for NSW for Origin 3.

Meanwhile, it was another disappointing effort in Australia for the Warriors, but as long as they show glimpses of brilliance and remain within the vicinity of the top 8, their standard late-season run is a possibility.

Sydney Roosters v. Cronulla

History: The Roosters have a significant edge over Cronulla and have had this since Cronulla’s inception, but this edge has been pronounced at the Sydney Football Stadium, especially in recent years. Making matters worse for Cronulla in the lead-up to this game was the Roosters’ poor form. In the teams’ previous five matches at the SFS, the Roosters had won 4. Of the last 3 of these, the Roosters had lost 3 (and had their coach resign), 6 and 5 games coming into their game against Cronulla. Their losing streak before this game was 6.

Reality: Whether they did so to continue their historical dominance or just to end a long losing streak, the Roosters were much improved in defeating Cronulla on Saturday night. While they had been unlucky in recent weeks, their sustained intensity in this game has not been seen….for months. They did show a few lingering signs of terrible defence from recent weeks when they allowed Cronulla to score two tries despite barely crossing half-way during the first half, but their intensity did not waver in the second half and eventually the gutsy Sharks had to relent. Fitzgibbon and Mason led the way for the Roosters and must be a show for NSW for Origin 3, while Pearce also put in an accomplished effort and must now also be in contention.

That said, Ricky Stuart might make a return to the Roosters’ Christmas Card List for allowing the clearly and significantly injured Paul Gallen to play much of this game despite a badly hurt shoulder. This allowed the Roosters to get an easy try (when scoring for them was hard work) early in the second half and hindered Cronulla’s comeback efforts.

Canberra v. Melbourne

History: Melbourne came into this game having won their last FOURTEEN games against Canberra. However, Melbourne have shown signs of vulnerability in post Origin games over the last few years where few challenges have been presented, while their previous three games in Canberra were all very hard fought affairs, with Melbourne only escaping with fairly close wins.

Reality: History looked set to repeat here for about 15 minutes late in the second half, after Canberra started very strongly and scored what looked like being the important first try of the second half to reach a 20-4 lead, but Melbourne then scored two nice tries to cut the deficit to just 4 with much time remaining.

However, Canberra held strong and didn’t allow Melbourne any chances to score (despite some good field position) before Bronson Harrison put the icing on the cake with a try in the final minute. As a Kiwi, he is ineligible for Origin 3, but NSW could do a lot worse than choosing Canberra’s inspirational Alan Tongue for Origin 3, as well as Learoyd-Lahrs, Tilse and Dugan.

The combination of Canberra’s determination to overcome history and Melbourne’s usual effort to avoid defeat meant this was one of the better games so far this season, but Melbourne will be cursing their lack of preparation (effort?) to combat Canberra’s cross-kicks for the acrobatic Monaghan. There was little doubt that it was a courageous effort for Inglis to play in this game, but his inability to protect his winger from the Monaghan assault probably ended up costing his team the win.

Parramatta v. Brisbane

History: This rivalry is somewhat like Parramatta’s against Cronulla: while Parramatta often has success in Brisbane, they rarely defeat them at home. However, Parramatta has been in an on-off pattern since Round 7 and, if the pattern was to be followed, this was to be the ‘on’ week (where all the ‘on’ weeks have seen Parramatta take on teams well above them on the ladder). Also, Brisbane has struggled mightily in post Origin games since the bulk of their experienced squad left following 2007.

Reality: The ‘uncertain’ history gave way to perhaps the most difficult game to tip of the round. Once it became clear Parramatta had ‘turned up’ to play, a win for them almost seemed assured, especially with the late withdrawal of Israel Folau, the news of the injuries carried by Peter Wallace and Karmichael Hunt and the in-game injury suffered by Nick Kenny. However, Brisbane slowly but surely came back into the game and when Michaels crossed for his second try, Parramatta’s lead was gone and a virtual field-goal shoot-out had begun.

Parramatta created a number of chances during this time, mostly through the white-hot Jarryd Hayne, but failed to convert any of them, while Brisbane’s forwards were gaining solid amounts of distance, getting them closer to good field goal position. Eventually Lockyer had a good look at giving his team the lead – but he slipped and Brisbane’s chances slipped away, as Parramatta marched down the field and Luke Burt knocked over a field goal from almost 40 metres out.

When Brisbane’s short kick-off failed, Parramatta celebrated with young Mortimer crossing for a famous win. He and Burt surely have to be considered for NSW for Origin 3, as well as Hindmarsh, Grothe and Reddy.

Newcastle v. Souths

History: Newcastle has a dominant record over Souths since their inception in 1988 (23 wins out of 29 games) but they have shown an alarming tendency to drop their level of play to that of their opponents this season (as seen in their loss to Parramatta, their dodgy win over the Warriors and their collapse against the Tigers). The struggling but desperate Rabbitohs fit the bill of a team who could trouble the inconsistent Knights, especially as they were without Craig Wing (and Wing’s absence could perhaps have worsened any Newcastle complacency).

Reality: It became apparent not long after the start of this game that Newcastle’s 17-day period since their last game could also be a factor driving a possible poor performance. They started strongly and looked set to overwhelm Souths, but it probably came a little too easy for Newcastle and they were probably a little bit too keen to start strongly after such a long layoff. Mentally, Newcastle lapsed over the next ten or so minutes (exemplified by Danny Wicks’ floating pass when a hit-up was the right play) and Souths scored two tries and could have scored more.

Souths enjoyed a 12-6 half-time lead despite some very poor decisions and execution by John Sutton. However, he was almost matched in the ineptness stakes by his counterpart and former team-mate Ben Rogers: it was a Battle Of The Pathetic Five-Eighths for a fair while, but surprisingly, neither will be considered for NSW for Origin 3.

After half-time, Newcastle re-focussed and hence dominated much of the second half to record a solid win. Jarrod Mullen led the way, steering Newcastle around beautifully and putting his name into contention for NSW for Origin 3 (seriously). His deft field goal was a highlight. But the return of Adam MacDougall (and having him defended by makeshift centre Ben Lowe) also helped, with Newcastle sending most of their attack down MacDougall’s right side. MacDougall and Steve Simpson played themselves into contention for a spot on an extended bench for NSW in Origin 3.

Hopefully you enjoyed this look at History in the NRL and (in this round) just how useless it is as a predictor of results. Next week on the Roast, there will be a detailed look at the 48-man NSW squad for Origin 3. See you next week.

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Round 15: A Real No-Brainer

A combination of the absence of a number of elite players and teams, inclement conditions and a failure to take very good opportunities on the part of a number of lower-ranked teams meant Round 15 in the NRL was one of the poorer rounds in recent memory. While several significantly weakened, upper echelon teams gained important wins, even they were not immune to the outbreak of shoddy play.

However, Round 15’s aesthetic unsightliness was far more than just poor execution of strategy or mistakes due to the wet weather. Much of this was – put simply – dumb play: dumb play from lowly ranked teams, whose chances for success against weakened better teams were ruined by shameful ignorance of what should have been less threatening strengths. But, as the mostly close final results of the weekend’s matches suggests, the better teams also played dumb, in not fully capitalising on their initial advantages.

Therefore, the most apt form for this week’s Roast is a list of the dumb, the dumber and dumberest happenings from each game, prefaced by suitably stupid quotes from the 1994 movie Dumb and Dumber. Bake it away, toys.

Bulldogs v. Penrith

Harry: Well, I used to have a parakeet, but my main area of expertise is canines: that’s dogs to the layperson.

Mary: Thanks. I love dogs too. So how are you involved with them?

Harry: Oh, I’ve trained them, bathed them, clipped them, I’ve even bred them.

Mary: Really? Any unusual breeding?

Harry: Nah, mostly just doggie-style.

Dumb: Despite their opposition being without a number of important players due to State of Origin and to injury, the Bulldogs still appeared to take Penrith too lightly. This was despite Penrith’s record of success in recent years against the Bulldogs in similar situations (i.e. when Penrith was expected by most to lose).

Dumber: Even allowing for this game being a night game and being played in rainy conditions, the error count in this game was very high. One sequence late in the first half had them rolling in the aisles: a Penrith last tackle passing movement resulted in a dropped ball after the pass was broken up to Walsh. Goodwin picked up the ball for the Bulldogs and ran down the sideline, but his pass was broken up and fielded by Sammut for Penrith.

Sammut looked to drop the ball, but it was just an awkward pass to Graham, who found Emilio, but pressure from El Masri forced Emilio’s pass to go several metres forward. From the ensuing scrum, Holdsworth dropped the ball while trying to pass, then Emilio dropped the ball first pass from the next scrum and the ball was picked up by Andrew Ryan, who proceeded to drop the ball when tackled. The whole game wasn’t this bad. Really. But both teams struggled in the conditions to say the least.

Dumberest: Luckily for the Bulldogs, their slight complacency was not fully punished by Penrith. It was apparent very early on that Penrith was highly motivated for a win, but they had two major failings: 1. their emphasis on attacking via their left-hand side and 2. their poor last tackle plays. They often attack down their left-hand side, but they normally have dynamic attacking players Pritchard and Jennings. Emilio and Cooper never really worried the Bulldogs’ defence.

But Penrith would have been very disappointed with a number of poor last tackle plays in this game. Just before the half hour mark, Penrith threatened to extend their lead into double figures, but consecutive last tackle options (a Sammut dummy half run that went nowhere and a Walsh running of the ball that eventually conceded 20 metres) allowed the Dogs to keep their line intact. Their next possession, the Bulldogs scored. The Bulldogs’ second try also followed a poor Penrith last tackle play. Not a good sign at all for a team that was supposed to have solved their playmaking problems.

North Queensland v. Sydney Roosters

Lloyd: That’s it – I’ve had it with this dump! We got no food, we got no jobs, our pet’s heads are FALLING OFF!

Harry: Ok, just calm down!

Lloyd: What the hell are we doing here Harry? We gotta get outta this town.

Harry: Yeh and go where? Where are we gonna go?

Lloyd: I’ll tell you where: someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I’m talking about a little place called Aspen.

Harry: I don’t know Lloyd, the French are a$$holes.

Dumb: Brad Fittler. I’m not sure what’s more amazing: his misdemeanour or the fact that the Roosters played almost exactly as they did in their last game (when there was no pre-game controversy). The clock is ticking as the Roosters wait for Fittler to depart with some dignity.

Dumber: After falling behind 10-0 very early on, the Cowbores recovered quite quickly and put on three tries with very little effort, despite having almost no playmaking ability in their halves without Feral Thurston. These easy tries came from strong forward running and the excellent play of Aaron Payne at dummy half. They followed it up with another easy try before half time (despite being one man down) – yet they couldn’t score one point in the second half and probably should have lost. While the Roosters’ effort in defence was very good, there is little question the Cowbores should have won this game easily.

Dumberest: The Roosters’ defence after getting to a 10-0 lead. Paper-thin is a cliché when it comes to describing poor defensive lines, but it was almost literally correct here. Even worse was that the Cowbores had NO threats in the halves or outside backs and so the Roosters’ defence could have almost focussed exclusively on the Cowbores’ forwards. Luckily, they still have heart, as evidenced by their effort and that they almost won the game, but that doesn’t excuse their woeful middle defence.

Melbourne v. Wests Tigers

Lloyd: Can’t you just feel it Harry? This is our big chance, man! All we got to do is show a little class and a little sophistication and we’re in like a dirty shirt.

Harry: That’s no problem, Lloyd, we can be classy and sophistic…oh look at the fun bags on that hose-hound.

Lloyd: I’d like to eat her liver with some fava beans and a nice bottle of Chianti!

Dumb: Melbourne might have been missing a number of important players, but their forward pack was largely intact. They should have done more with their early opportunities and done a better job of consolidating. Cooper Cronk having to fire up his team-mates after Melbourne’s second try showed this was a fairly flat team.

Dumber: Tigers again lost a close game. Their forwards (led by the shock return of Gareth Ellis) matched the highly rated Melbourne pack, but two well-constructed tries came with a number of blown chances. Their backs had an edge over the young/crap Melbourne backs, but the Tigers again couldn’t capitalise.

Dumberest: Daine Laurie. Yes, he has potential, but he had potential last year too and he’s not exactly a spring chicken (although he is in terms of experience). Bombed a try, gave up what became an important penalty (leading to Melbourne’s second try) and these were probably the difference in the end. Teflon Sheens is probably bringing him along at the right pace though. Laurie wouldn’t be playing much if it wasn’t for injuries, but Sheens and others have to cop the blame for over-paying some marginal forward talent so as players like Laurie are part of the Tigers’ forward pack ‘depth’.

Manly v. Canberra

Harry: Huh, I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.

Lloyd: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver’s full of $hit, man.

(Next scene)

Lloyd: I’m only human, Harry. Anybody can make a mistake. C’mon, stop being a baby, so we backtracked a tad.

Harry: A TAD?! A TAD Lloyd?! You drove almost a sixth of the way across the country in the wrong direction! Now we don’t have enough money to get to Aspen, we don’t have enough money to get home, we don’t have enough money to eat, we don’t have enough money to sleep!

Dumb: Manly should never have let Canberra back in after their very good first half. Their almost second-string forward pack had the better of Canberra’s monsters and they did so partly by skilfully negotiating the heavy conditions, but for Manly to nearly give up a 20-point lead was criminal. Also, Adam Cuthbertson showed how far he had fallen: from City Origin in April to being replaced in an Origin-weakened line-up by an 18-year old five-eighth (Foran) on debut. Foran had a great first game and Coach Hasler would have been proud that his more mobile team dominated the bigger Raiders, but this was no thanks to Cuthbertson, who had a patchy game.

Dumber: Many assumed Canberra’s Terry Campese would be smarting after his Origin omission and would be keen for a very good performance. However, it was more of what has become largely the same for him this season. He had 10 or so excellent games late last season and parlayed that into a Kangaroos jersey and a five-year contract extension. He may end up being a great player, but his game has slipped this season and his self-confidence has suffered: he is not the type of player (yet) to play well in tough situations. Also, Campese’s usually solid goal kicking also let him down late in this game and hurt Canberra’s chances.

However, Canberra should have at the very least given Campese a chance to tie the game: after scoring three tries in a short space of time to cut the 20-point lead to just 6, Canberra had two excellent chances to score again, through David Milne (why did he not back his pace to go around Robertson instead of chipping him?) and a huge overlap which was botched.

Dumberest: Most importantly though, given their embarrassing loss to Cronulla last week and their dire need for points to put life back into their premiership chances, how could Canberra have NOT started this game with a massive determination to succeed? Instead they started like…well, the best description I saw stated ‘why was Canberra told the game was to start at 4pm instead of 3pm?’ They appeared flat and disinterested to dig in and fight back against the challenge from the under-strength Manly. Finally, they stopped the bleeding, but allowed one more soft try before they finally – but ultimately futilely – played at somewhere near their best. Too little, too late – it could end up being the catchphrase to describe Canberra’s season.

Cronulla v. Brisbane

Lloyd: Hey! Why don’t we get busy and deliver the briefcase to Mary? If I know her as well as I think I do, she’ll invite us right in for tea and strumpets.

Harry: Good plan, where does she live?

Lloyd: I don’t know.

Harry: What’s her last name? I’ll look it up.

Lloyd: Ahh…you know I don’t really recall. Starts with an S! Swim, Swamy, Slippy, Slappy, Simmon, Sommon, Simmon, Som, Swan, Swinson, Swanson?

Harry: Maybe it’s on the briefcase. Look on that.

Lloyd: Oh yeh! It’s right here! Samsonite – I was way off! I knew it started with an S though.

Dumb: Cronulla’s sloppy defence in their own 20 during the game’s first 45 minutes. Brisbane – with a very young fullback and halves combination – was not likely to ask too complex questions of the Cronulla defence and with Cronulla dominating field position for much of the game, Brisbane could have been in major trouble. Instead, they rather easily crossed the line a number of times once they finally got good attacking field position. They scored two easy tries, had another try confusingly disallowed and threatened to do more while the score remained close.

Dumber: Brisbane’s generally poor approach to this game. Only Corey Parker and Nick Kenny could hold their heads high after what was a thrashing at the hands of a terribly inexperienced side with a forward playing at five-eighth. They were never going to be great with youth in such important positions, but their effort and intensity was very poor, especially from several notable off-season signings.

Dumberest: Ben T’eo and Lagi Setu (again) had terrible games. You know someone is rubbish when the Tigers don’t re-sign them; T’eo has hardly made a positive contribution for Brisbane so far this season and his curious bat-back probably denied Brisbane a try in the first half. Meanwhile, Setu’s poor attempted tackle on Millington was the start of Millington’s thirty-metre try-scoring run. Why did Brisbane sign these two but release Dave Taylor? The mind boggles.

New South Wales v. Queensland

Harry: I can’t feel my fingers anymore, Lloyd, they’re numb!

Lloyd: Maybe you should wear these extra gloves, my hands are starting to get sweaty.

Harry: Extra gloves? You’ve had this pair of extra gloves this whole time?

Lloyd: Yeh, we’re in the Rockies.

Harry: I’m gonna kill you!

Lloyd: What?

Harry: I’m gonna kill you! I’m gonna kill you Lloyd! Right now, I’m gonna kill you! I know what I’m gonna do, I’m gonna do something I should have done a long time ago.

Lloyd: Don’t do anything foolish, Harry!

Harry: What? Foolish? This isn’t foolish? I’m gonna toss this damn curse right into that damn pond!

(Struggle ensues)

Lloyd: (shrieks) Harry, your hands are freezing!

Dumb: Yes, they’ve now won four series in a row, and yes, they might be considered one of the best Origin teams ever, but Queensland can never put a heavy defeat on NSW, no matter how poor NSW is playing. Granted, NSW had some luck with low-percentage plays, got a number of helpful calls from Chann...I mean the referees and Queensland had a number of hurt or sick players, but NSW had no right to be in the game at half time and some of the blame for this must lie with Queensland and their close, courageous win culture.

Dumber: NSW’s start to the game. It wasn’t just the errors (some of which we due to excellent Queensland tackling) but more so their whole approach. So flat, so lifeless: where was the urgency? Loose balls fell to Queensland, poor tackling made Queensland’s task much easier and this new combination of New South Welshmen looked about ready to collapse completely. But luckily for them, Queensland wasn’t much better: it was a horrible first half-hour. AFL, if you want the ANZ Stadium, please, take it and keep it for yourself. It is the worst stadium for big games for so many reasons.

Dumberest: NSW looked a real chance to take an unlikely lead late in the game, led by Manly’s brilliant back-rowers Watmough and Stewart. Queensland’s tiredness led to NSW coach Craig Bellamy deciding to put Robbie Farah back into the game with Gidley to play a double dummy half (much like he did with Farah and Wing in Game 1) but in doing this, he substituted Stewart. Not surprisingly, with Stewart went much of NSW’s attacking threat. The Manly back-rowers combine size, speed and intensity in a combination rarely seen in the NRL. Farah was having a poor game and never really worried Queensland; Bellamy basically gave away NSW’s chances to win by replacing Stewart.

Of course, Rugby League is blessed with such *talented* individuals that a Dumb and Dumber Roast could be done almost every week, but one final example of dumbness was seen on a sign at last night’s game: “Bowraville is in NSW you cheat”. That says it all really. See you next week.

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