Round 12: This Week in Rugby League according to At The Movies

“Ohhh Gallen’s dead set taken a dive there, give him an Academy Award!”

David Stratton: This week on At The Movies, the next instalment in film’s most famous franchise premieres in Melbourne, a megalomaniacal, autobiographical, but ultimately feel-good look at a former star enjoying a career renaissance after learning the error of his ways and a touching story of a hard working, socially awkward, loner’s efforts to win over a conservative regional town.

Margaret Pomeranz: Other new releases this week include a sequel to Once Were Warriors, a low-budget re-make of West Side Story and the winning entrant from the Canberra Short Film Festival titled Easy Peasy Without Campese.

But first, it is the much-hyped release of Fourward and Upward…? – the newest in the Star Wars series. David, you were at the premiere last night in Melbourne, what did you think? Did it live up to the hype? Did it give you hope that the rather disappointing instalments of recent years would be a thing of the past?

DS: You’re right Margaret, this franchise has become somewhat stale in recent years, although it must be tough to put so much effort into producing these works year in and year out for almost 30 years. However, to the directors’ credit, the infusion of much new talent for the Blues gave those behind the relentless hype machine a somewhat easier task. The angles of youth vs. experience and potential vs. proven performers gave the media much to discuss in anticipation of this premiere.

I won’t give too much away, but the youth (New South Wales) vs. experience (Queensland) theme plays a pivotal – and perhaps controversial – role early on in the battle and it appeared Queensland was about to exhibit major dominance over their hated foe, but it didn’t quite turn out like that. While the battle perhaps didn’t reach the heights of some famous past instalments – such as the first episode in 2005 or the third episode of 2002 – the directors must be given credit for an ending which leaves plenty of options for subsequent instalments later in the year.

However, I’m not sure about the neutral venue of Melbourne – I know the directors have used Melbourne before and they have their reasons but there was something of an…empty feel for much of the game. Perhaps it’s just that Melbourne is more of a Star Trek city, who knows? Margaret, what did you think?

MP: At the end of the day – channelling my inner Craig Bellamy here, David, heh heh heh! – I agree with you, the directors have to be praised. Keeping this aging franchise alive year after year for so very long and sustaining such significant interest is a noteworthy achievement.

But the potential vs. experience angle was identified early on, was present throughout this instalment and given its success, I’m sure will be used again later on in the year. Another time-honoured theme was refereeing mistakes and the passion this creates amongst rival supporters. It’s quite amazing, David, there have refereeing mistakes in Star Wars since we were at SBS heh heh heh but they still are such an effective means of engaging (or should that be enraging?) the audience.

While some have called for an end to Star Wars after such a long run, this latest instalment – and the fervour with which it was received – shows it has plenty of life left in it yet, especially as long as I can watch Greg Inglis gracefully striding down the field. Four stars from me.

DS: I’m not quite as big a Star Wars follower and fan as you, Margaret, but as much as I try and tune out of it and ignore the hype, the intensity of each battle draws me in. Four stars here too.

MP: Now it’s on to our second release of the week – Citizen Dell. David, you mentioned the relentless hype machine for Star Wars; perhaps they ought to engage the promotional talents of the producer, director and star of Citizen Dell – Wendell Sailor – in the future. Despite being released in the same week as Star Wars, Citizen Dell has still received significant publicity.

For the few people out there who have avoided the self-promotional blitz in recent months, Citizen Dell is an autobiographical account of Wendell Sailor’s turbulent career. However, it is mostly focused on the last few years, where he endured a two-year suspension for cocaine use but overcame the naysayers and doubters – or “haters” as he calls them several times during the film – to resurrect his career at NRL club St. George Illawarra.

For those who can handle Sailor’s consistently brash demeanour and are not entirely put off by Sailor referring to the film many believe is the best ever in the title, this is something of a feel-good story. Much of the film looks at Sailor’s role in a recent win for St George Illawarra over Penrith, where Sailor “carried the team on my back” to a win. Look out for Morgan Freeman as St George Illawarra coach Wayne Bennett and cameos from Pauly Shaw (as former Dragons coach Nathan Brown; although this is somewhat demeaning – to Shaw) and Brad Chard (as passer-by on Pitt Street Brad Chard whose brief early morning exchange helped motivate Sailor).

I’m going to give this three and a half stars. David, what did you think?

DS: As you know Margaret, I’m not much of a sports follower, but I am aware of Sailor and I am also aware of Anthony Mundine. I find both of them to be highly objectionable characters. Some may accuse me anti-American feeling for this, but there are many fine concepts, ideas or products which emanate from the United States. I’m afraid that loud, boorish, excessively confident sportsmen are not one of them, especially when they name their films after Citizen Kane. Two stars from me.

On to our next new release for the week: Mr. Smith Goes to Newcastle. Whereas Wendell Sailor’s puff piece had nothing in common with the masterpiece from whence its name was borrowed, this film has a number of similar elements to the 1939 film Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, which of course starred Jimmy Stewart.

In both films, a replacement official is required to take over after a death. In Newcastle, the “death” was of the local team – the Newcastle Knights – as a premiership threat. If the decision for a new coach of the Knights was made as other decisions were in the mid 2000’s – at the whim of declining superstar Andrew Johns – the Knights would have recruited another Yes man, another lackey to coach the team, but those in charge knew that riding the coattails of Johns and one or two others could not continue. The signing of Mr. Smith – Brian Smith – was specifically undertaken to revitalise and transform what was an ailing club in a rugby league town.

Smith’s reform process of the Newcastle Knights was fast-tracked after the sudden retirement of Andrew Johns after just three games of the 2007 season. Smith knew he was at a club where home-grown talent was important, but he also knew how important reform was. These outcomes were quickly shown to be mutually exclusive and supporter and player discontent was rising. Poor on-field performances only made Smith’s position more tenuous.

However, during 2008, once the first wave of reform had begun and Smith was able to secure much of his new talent from elsewhere, the first signs of the transformation became apparent.

There has been much controversy over this film, as Smith has won few friends in rugby league circles despite a career spanning four separate decades. Smith’s enemies claim the turbulent 2007 season has been glossed over and key facts regarding certain events are omitted or altered, but I think this film has a strong enough story that the non-sport follower such as myself can really become involved.

The film ends midway through the 2009 season, where further development of the Newcastle Knights playing roster has seen a much improved performance, including victories over a number of successful teams, the last of which came against the Bulldogs. Look for a hilarious cameo by Stevie Wonder as video referee Paul Simpkins; Simpkins’ small involvement gave Newcastle a brief advantage over the Bulldogs, but one is left feeling good for Smith and for Newcastle. There is a feeling of satisfaction, where Smith can see the benefits of much hard work paying off.

Smith’s somewhat anti-social and workaholic qualities are beautifully captured by Tom Cruise, while others to watch for include John Candy (as former Newcastle player and now board member Paul Harragon) and a brick outhouse (as Newcastle player Junior Sau).

Margaret, I’m going to give Mr. Smith Goes to Newcastle four stars.

MP: A brick outhouse?! Ohhhhh David you’re too much. I also enjoyed this film, but I can’t help but think this was released too soon and failed to adequately go over much of his past. Yes, he enjoyed long stints at a number of clubs, but ultimate success – a grand final win – has always eluded him. While those behind the film may feel the story is in Smith winning over Newcastle after the turbulent 2007 season, for most other followers of the game, a much bigger story would be if Smith ever won a premiership.

Still, I enjoyed the film – I wonder if Smith’s career could sustain a number of films actually. Three and a half stars from me.

On to several new releases with much lower budgets and/or aimed at a much smaller segment of the movie-going public. Firstly, the winner of the Canberra Short Film Festival was the rugby league film Easy Peasy Without Campese. This film looked at the exploits of the local rugby league team, the Canberra Raiders, who struggled mightily during the first 11 rounds of the 2009 season with their supposed superstar Terry Campese.

Campese’s absence from Canberra’s team in Round 12 was thought by many to leave Canberra rudderless and vulnerable, but they developed an excellent gameplan and thrashed South Sydney. There is a mix of entertainment (from the pleasing Canberra play), humour (as David Caruso plays the parts of both Alan Tongue and Joel Monaghan) and mystery (as the Canberra players ponder why they couldn’t perform at this level previously and wonder if Campese was to blame).

A very nice short film, three and a half stars from me.

DS: From New Zealand comes our next film Always Were Mudrunners (a sequel to Once Were Warriors). Strangely enough, this sequel looks at a rugby league team called the Warriors. This film is part drama, part comedy, part excitement thanks to the high number of emotionally volatile but usually brain-dead Maori or Islander players who play for the Warriors. In truth, this documentary would be interesting enough without the Mudrunners tie-in, but watch for the Warriors transforming from inconsistent, erratic players into machines once rain falls in Auckland. The impact of this has been historically felt by their opposition in the featured game, the Wests Tigers, a team from Sydney (but interestingly with a high number of Kiwi players) who thrive in dry weather.

All in all, an interesting addition to films in 2009, but a bit specialised for my liking: two and a half stars.

MP: The final new release this week is a local low-budget remake of West Side Story. How low-budget is it? Well…it was shot on a mobile phone by a member of the passionate Cronulla Sharks Supporters Club! Heh heh heh – I guess you’d have to be passionate to still attend Cronulla games!

Anyway, I believe this Cronulla Sharks supporter has been filming every game from their vantage point in the crowd since news of the Sharks’ financial problems was announced, praying for a win and the ensuing celebrations to showcase that good can still come from Cronulla. Bless them…but while you can’t help but become involved in the emotions of the Cronulla supporters, their win against Parramatta was very much a struggle, containing very little in the area of excitement or drama.

Parramatta at times looked like exerting more of an influence on the game’s outcome, but their famous habit (so I’m told) of playing down to their opposition when favoured to win once again came to the fore. Cronulla stayed close (thanks to a rare highlight by Luke Covell) and basically fell across the line – well, Mitch Brown did at least. And Trent Barrett’s field goal was as ugly as they come.

That said, it might be worth going to see West Side Story just for the post-game celebration. For a club which has never won a premiership, Cronulla’s loyal supporters sure do know how to celebrate!

DS: Margaret, that’s cruel!

MP: Heh heh I know, David, I know. Anyway, for the battle between the Sharks and the Eels (not the Jets unfortunately), I give three stars.

On that note, we’ll leave Margaret and David. Hopefully something resembling normal Tuesday Roast transmission will resume next week.

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Round 11 - Referees, Rebirths and Roasts: A Pre-Origin Review

As this most chaotic of NRL seasons is about to enter a several-month period of major flux for the line-ups of the best teams, it seems an appropriate time to take stock as well as outline what will no doubt be a pathetic attempt at the eventual outcome of season 2009.

Parramatta: Despite 2009 being a season thus far of major upheaval, player disenchantment and largely poor form, it can be argued there is light at the end of the tunnel for Parramatta. Yes, they have some gaping holes in their squad but there are signs of a team that cares, that wants to play at its best no matter who might be missing. They will lose a high number of the season’s remaining games, but you get the impression that the Parra army wouldn’t mind this if the players continue to have a dig more often than not.

Their effort against Souths on Friday night was top-shelf and they were very unlucky to come away from the game with just one point. Their games may not be very pretty for much of the next few months (perhaps until Mateo comes back) but an honourable 12th to 14th place finish looks likely.

Souths: On balance, Souths have enjoyed a solid season to date. Sure, their effort against Parramatta was poor – they have struggled for form in general in situations where most expected them to play well – but this has been offset by some extremely gutsy performances. Souths had little to no right to be anywhere near victory against the Warriors, Tigers and Titans, but that they picked up 4 points from these games could be very useful later on in the season.

Of course, how you fare against the better teams will eventually determine your fate, but points accumulated after playing the lower teams determines the difficulty of your September fixtures. Look for Souths to do enough to have a shot at success (especially with the signing of Crocker): 6th to 8th should be about right.

Wests Tigers: So near and yet so far: the Tigers have played some of the best rugby league seen this season, defeated or threatened a number of high-flying teams and could well be in the top 4. Their poor luck was seen again on Friday night, where, even without Robbie Farah, they came very close to defeating Brisbane. Much has been said about the refereeing in this game, but the Tigers again lacked someone to finish off much of their good work.

Farah and Marshall will, of course, return in combination in State of Origin off weeks and for the remainder of the season (injuries notwithstanding) but the Tigers’ ultimate standing is one of the more difficult to figure. A premiership run or a (weak) challenge for the spoon are both somewhat likely. I’ll say 9th to 11th for now, but this really could go either way.

Brisbane: A real enigma of a team. A major roster overhaul over the last few seasons has seen the average age of the roster fall markedly, but accompanying the increased youth is, strangely, greater complacency (or more correctly, doing the bare minimum needed to win). This was again seen on Friday night, where they generally failed to match the enthusiasm of the understrength Tigers, but took enough chances when they got near the Tigers’ line to sneak home with the win.

While they are not really playing anywhere near their potential at the moment, their talent level and ongoing generous scheduling (due to Channel 9’s desire to screen Brisbane on Friday nights, the Broncos have a consistency and routine to their draw which is the envy of many teams) as well as their very good start to the season should ensure that Brisbane finishes in the top 2. But whether they can win big games in September with a forward pack of questionable quality is another matter entirely.

Cronulla: The seeds of their disastrous season were probably sewn several years ago, where allowing the status quo at all levels of the club to continue has been shown to be an extremely poor decision. For all of Ricky Stuart’s tenure at Cronulla, his team has been under-resourced and the club’s reputation amongst players has remained low (hence the high number of rejects Cronulla has been forced to accept). Also during the entirety of Stuart’s time at Cronulla, the Sharks have been a hard-working team; this is not in question. Again on Saturday night, they gave the Dragons a tough game. But while in 2007, they lost a heap of close games, and in 2008, they won a heap of close games, it has fallen apart in 2009. The loss of Kimmorley, Bird, De Gois and Kearney really haven’t been covered and given their lack of depth, Cronulla has struggled mightily in all areas in 2009.

There is a risk of the whole operation going belly-up and Cronulla losing the plot over the season’s final few months, but the more likely outcome is for Cronulla to continue to fight hard but for only perhaps a handful (if they’re lucky) of gutsy wins. A bottom 2 finish looks a certainty for Cronulla.

St George Illawarra: If there was ever any doubt as to the coaching credentials of Wayne Bennett, this must have been erased given his brilliant work transforming the Dragons. What many Dragons supporters saw as a risky game against Cronulla on the weekend was a comfortable win, as the Dragons absorbed Cronulla’s best before Soward inspired his team to a number of tries early in the second half.

Speaking of Soward, his playmaking and kicking will always be important, but it might be his speed which is his most valuable asset. Soward, Brett Morris, Boyd and some others possess blinding speed; this has and will lead to a number of tries, which will help to alleviate the Dragons’ relative lack of playmaking ability. Of course, the Dragons’ size, toughness and intensity will take them far this season: they will finish between 3rd and 5th but represent a serious threat for this year’s premiership (given their semi-final style of play).

Bulldogs: Speaking of transformations, an even greater transformation has taken place with the Bulldogs. While their work in signing a number of very good players was very important, the way they have come together as a finely-functioning team in a short matter of time has been extremely impressive. A great example of the resilience of the Bulldogs was seen on Saturday night when they thoroughly defeated Melbourne but where all their points came after the injury to Brett Kimmorley. The collective lift in the Bulldogs’ level of play and intensity was extremely obvious in the minutes after Kimmorley’s departure and they were able to sustain this during the second half for a great win.

Even if the Bulldogs experience a prolonged period of struggle over the remainder of the season, they are extremely well placed given their current high standing and relative lack of Origin representation. They seem set for a top 2 finish and have a great shot at premiership glory.

Melbourne: The stage was set on Saturday night for a return to the status quo; for Melbourne to build on their thrashing of Canberra with a win over the upstart Bulldogs on Saturday night and in doing so, confirming their premiership intentions before the Origin period. But the usually well prepared Storm didn’t seem to factor in how hungry the Bulldogs would be. Also, the Storm reacted poorly to the loss of Kimmorley for the Bulldogs. The Storm’s highly predictable style of play has seen them labelled robots by some; well, these wags would have taken joy out of Melbourne’s failure to react to a significant change in their opposition’s line-up.

That said, Melbourne’s prospects have improved markedly over the last month. The return of several important cogs of their forward pack has been important (especially with much reduced depth in this season’s squad) while the signing of Brett Finch has given them a much-needed alternate playmaking option. They will struggle during Origin, but look for them to make a bit of a run after Origin: 3rd to 5th for the Storm.

Penrith: Finally – finally – it appears as though the pieces are coming together for Penrith. Their much-vaunted youngsters have improved, their sizeable forward is playing with a good level of consistency and the signing of Luke Walsh at halfback might just be the icing on the cake. Similar to the old Dragons, the old Panthers might have played poorly against the Roosters on Saturday night. Instead, they turned up to thrash them: a stark contrast to a number of pathetic home displays when expected to win in recent years.

Penrith’s rise has been confirmed by the Origin announcements, with Jennings and Lewis (18th man) receiving overdue recognition and Penrith should continue their growth throughout the remainder of this season by sneaking into the top 8: a 6th to 8th finish will cap an amazing turnaround, led by Matthew Elliott.

Sydney Roosters: Similar to Cronulla, the Roosters have fallen away badly in 2009 after a strong 2008, which, in hindsight, saw them overachieve with relatively little talent. The loss of Shillington and Tupou without replacement and the aging of O’Meley, Mason and Fitzgibbon have seen the Roosters’ pack diminish, while their backline, which was never much good to begin with, has regressed further. Braith Anasta at fullback, while potentially the shake-up the team needed, looks destined to be remembered with the one-marker theory as Roosters’ innovations which were never meant to work.

Sadly for the likeable Brad Fittler, it appears the writing is on the wall for his coaching career, but unfortunately for whoever takes over, the ingredients of a turnaround similar to when Fittler started at the Roosters in mid 2007 seem to be lacking. They will fight with the Sharks for the wooden spoon.

Canberra: While Canberra stopped the bleeding on Sunday with a big win over the Warriors, they still seem a long way away from their blistering form of late 2008. Much like the Roosters and Cronulla, Canberra lost several good players from 2008 including Colin Best, Todd Carney (as well as Michael Dobson) and Lincoln Withers and never adequately replaced them. They just haven’t….clicked so far this season and now with Terry Campese being named as NSW five-eighth for at least one game, Canberra’s chances of a turnaround seem further doomed. They will still be nuisance value for teams on a cold day or night at Bruce, but a 12th to 14th finish seems most likely for the Green Machine.

New Zealand: A huge disappointment. There is a significant risk in writing off their season because in each of the last three seasons, the Warriors have endured a long spell of poor form before turning it around and storming home, but this season looks more like 2004 (when their slow start deteriorated into a terrible season) than 2006-2008. Their lack of intensity and passion against similarly struggling opponents Canberra on Sunday was their worst yet. They miss Brent Tate, but they have more than enough talent, experience, speed and ability to be on a far higher ladder position than their current 12th.

Like a game on a sunny Sunday afternoon where the Warriors fall behind by 16 with 20 to go and they all of a sudden turn into the Harlem Globetrotters and post 4 tries for a shock win, I’m wary of writing the Warriors off for season 2009 then watching them win 10 in a row to make the 8 but their problems seem too deep and resolutions seem too far away. It will be a 12th to 14th place finish for the Warriors in 2009.

Gold Coast: There’s no doubt that the Gold Coast possess some of the very best players in the NRL but…in their first two seasons, they started strongly only to fade late in the season and finish out of the top 8. Despite a quite amazing effort to just hold off the physically dominant Manly team on Sunday, it appears as though history might repeat once again and that the Titans might be one of the unlucky few good teams to miss the 8 this season.

The main reason for this lies in Sunday’s game against Manly: they struggle against the larger, physically dominant teams. Of course, their strengths of dynamic attack, experience and speed can always neutralise size (the ’05 Tigers showed this) and players such as Preston Campbell and Nathan Friend can often play well above their size, but unfortunately for the Titans, a finish just outside the top 8 is the prediction here.

Manly: The loss of Brett Stewart for potentially the rest of the season has been a huge blow for Manly, but they (belatedly) seem to have adjusted. Their thrashing of Parramatta last week was impressive and they threatened to overwhelm the Gold Coast yesterday.

However, they lost to the Titans long before Matt Cecchin’s controversial decision against Matt Orford. Orford’s play for the ball ahead of a grubbering Preston Campbell was harshly called a penalty, but much of the rest of his game deserved some sort of punishment. While Manly’s forward pack dominated, they didn’t quite dominate to the extent that Orford had a day out. He still had to make a number of significant plays: kicks, passes, generally steering his team around. His overall mark was…somewhat unsatisfactory. His choices were often poor, his execution was lacking despite a dry day and good conditions.

In short, Manly’s slow start will be a major factor behind their eventual finish just outside the top 8, but the ongoing absence of Stewart and Orford’s sub-par performances will prevent Manly from winning enough games over the remainder of the season.

North Queensland: The Cowbores usually start the season strongly, struggle over the Origin period and beyond then finish strongly, but their adjustment to new coach Neil Henry’s system and the ongoing return to form of Matt Bowen has seen them improve steadily over the season.

They showed some glimpses of form in the opening weeks of the season, but generally were quite poor. Their win over an understrength Dragons appeared to be quite lucky, but in hindsight, this helped to turn their season around. Since then, they have been very impressive in defeating New Zealand and Newcastle. Not only has Feral Thurston lifted his game considerably, but most importantly, the much-maligned Cowbores forwards are playing at a much higher level. For them to hold their own against the usually very good Newcastle pack last night was a key foundation for their big win.

After a slow start, the Cowbores have found form in recent weeks and look a likely top 8 team at season’s end. It is within the realms of possibility that they will crack the top 5, but it’s hard to see their forward pack playing so well for most of the rest of the season, so let’s give them a 6th to 8th finish.

Newcastle: A glowing review of Newcastle’s first 11 rounds was already to go before last night’s game (before last night’s second half even) but their capitulation to the Cowbores meant some second thoughts were had. It must be kept in mind that is still largely a very young team (which is why the contributions of veterans Simpson and MacDougall are so important) who have had and will have consistency issues over the course of the season, but nevertheless this is a very good up-and-coming team with one of the NRL’s best coaches.

They have so many of the bases covered: playmaking, size, speed, depth, athleticism. The fruits of Brian Smith’s recruitment have paid off handsomely this season and are bound to keep doing so in the years to come. Consistency is probably their only weakness, but this should start to come through over the remainder of the season, which will help to steer the Knights to a top 5 place by season’s end.

Feel free to agree or disagree with any or all or the above: in such an even competition, it would be a major surprise if there weren’t a number of different views of where the season will end up amongst the learned brethren of tipsters.

Enjoy the many upcoming exciting stories from the two Origin teams preparing for next Wednesday’s game and see you next week.

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Round 10: Nostalgia Ain't What It Used To Be: A Look Back On the Heritage Round

Given Rugby League’s long and turbulent history – as well as its current position a fair way away from its roots – the concept of a Heritage Round is somewhat open to interpretation. This is probably why the NRL went with ‘Heritage’; the most generic of adjectives (as opposed to past themed rounds: Rivalry, 80s, 70s or 60s, where the new/merged teams have little relevance).

As a tribute to the contradictions and confusion in the ‘Heritage’ Round, below is this week’s Roast: a painstakingly researched and in-depth exploration of the state of Rugby League in Australia today and where the game is headed. And by that, I mean here is an adaptation of a widespread email forward (interspersed with game recaps) – enjoy!

You know you’re a Heritage Rugby League Supporter if…

You not only collected but still own several sets of Scanlens Footy Cards (extra points if the backs of these cards form a giant picture of a player and more extra points if you kept any chewing gum sticks).

You could run on the field after a game (possibly after entering the ground for free after half time).

You remember when grass was generally only seen on a footy field in March, maybe April, before dirt and mud took over.

You appreciate the irony of Bulldogs’ supporters feeling as though their team was heavily disadvantaged by a key refereeing decision (especially at Kogarah by Steve Clark).

Much has been said already about video referee Steve Clark’s abhorrent decision in the game’s final minute to deny the Bulldogs what would have been a famous win, but perhaps the most salient point left unsaid in the game’s aftermath was that allowing Idris’ try to stand would have been the first step in ending the pedantry which has enveloped officials’ decision-making in recent years. There might have been a very minor obstruction on Soward by Eastwood as Patten made the break, but to allow this decision to prevent a match-winning try…it left a bad taste in the mouth of Bulldogs’ supporters and most neutrals.

This was especially the case given the stirring nature of the Bulldogs’ comeback. They absorbed much pressure from the Dragons in the first half (although were let off the hook somewhat by a struggling Dragons’ attack) and slowly forced their way back into the game. They had to endure a questionable sin bin on Kimmorley before continuing the comeback. A memorable finish was building and did eventuate – but not as most anticipated.

However, the Bulldogs have long been beneficiaries of controversial refereeing decisions in big games, the most relevant of which came from Steve Clark – the video referee on Friday night – during his on-field referee days in a controversial semi-final at Kogarah in 1998. St George (note the exclusion of Illawarra here) with long memories (a tautology if ever there was one) would also be quick to note the Bulldogs’ good fortune in their 1985 grand final win, while most rugby league followers would also recall the unease at various refereeing blunders when the Bulldogs defeated Manly in 1995.

But for Steve Clark to help the Dragons out in such a big way: the Tuesday Roast could have been knocked over with a feather when this was realised. It just goes to show that everything with refereeing decisions does even out in the end (assuming you take a sufficient time horizon).

You fondly remember the ABC TV Saturday afternoon game, where characters such as John Peard and Debbie Spillane patrolled the sidelines.

There was a time in your life when a radio commentator going ‘around the grounds’ meant receiving scores from a host of games (not just one).

You remember when night games were exclusively played at Leichhardt Oval (and involved various players smudging black under their eyes).

Queensland was only a source of players for the Sydney competition and an opponent during State of Origin and not almost the epicentre of the game’s development and growth.

Brisbane and the Gold Coast met in the other Friday night game, at the stadium once known as Lang Park with (yet another) massive crowd. The size and growth of the game’s support across Queensland has seen Brisbane become a frequent fixture on Friday nights, while the Titans and Cowbores also enjoy huge support and there is growing momentum for perhaps several more Queensland-based teams: it’s hard to believe Queensland was ignored for so many years.

This fixture has delivered some excellent games since the Gold Coast’s re-introduction; while this one wasn’t quite as good as some others (and also not as controversial as the Bulldogs game), it was not without a fairly high level of play, despite both teams struggling somewhat in recent weeks.

Brisbane’s cause was helped somewhat by the loss of Bailey and Laffranchi from the Titans, but it still took Brisbane until well into the second half to ultimately seize control of this game. Was Brisbane’s cause helped by the late withdrawal of Justin Hodges? Perhaps, but it is unlikely that Hodges and his lackadaisical style would have been as successful as Israel Folau was in this game. Surely Brisbane has to find a way, when both are healthy, for both to be heavily involved in the game (and not for Folau to catch bombs on the wing).

You remember when judiciary hearings usually didn’t involve video evidence and sentences sometimes ended in months.

Quaint (read: dilapidated) grounds such as Lidcombe Oval, Pratten Park and Henson Park formed a part of your rugby league experience.

You can remember when didn’t need a degree to figure out the finals system.

The Roosters were called Easts and they had a coach not called Gibson, Gould or Stuart who had good job security.

You can remember a time when Cronulla wasn’t in some form of financial trouble (extra points for this one).

It was Easy Target night on Saturday. First up, the Roosters were once again easily beaten, although few would have beaten a rampant Newcastle on this night. Their affable coach Brad Fittler remains under pressure, as many Roosters coaches have over many years.

Finally, Cronulla once again tried hard but once again fell short, this time to Penrith. Penrith have long been guilty of playing down to lowly teams at home, but even they couldn’t lose this one (the Roosters on Saturday night will provide another challenge for Penrith). Many of you would have seen the Sharks jokes in recent days, but there are many laughs to be had with even a casual glimpse at the history of the Sharks. You’d imagine the Dragons will aim to take great joy in making things a bit worse for them this weekend (although why oh why does Justin Poore want to leave such a great situation to play with Cronulla?)

Under 20’s didn’t play before first grade, or reserve grade, or even third grade and they certainly weren’t on TV.

You remember when positions and numbers on the back of jerseys actually meant something.

Sunday’s big game was at 6.30pm (not 4pm) and you were always interested to see each try-scorer’s occupation.

You remember when running with the wind was actually an advantage (i.e. when players developed smarts and were not just athletes).

There was a howling gale and rain at Auckland on Sunday afternoon, but what should have boosted the Warriors’ chances of success was having experienced Stacey Jones at halfback. The Warriors ran with the wind at their back in the first half, but rarely looked like knowing how best to utilise such an advantage. A long Jones kick in about the 5th minute was chased through well by Kemp but a try just eluded his grasp. After that, it was a brainless half of play by the Warriors.

Meanwhile, Feral Thurston was nothing short of brilliant. His kicking game into the wind was exceptional, he was given excellent support by a much-maligned forward pack and he scored yet another try with a dummy close to the line. However, the Warriors somehow found their way to within four points of the Cowbores, partly due to increased rain gifting the Warriors some excellent attacking possession and partly due to some refereeing mistakes.

A combination of poor Warriors attack and still-solid defence saw the Cowbores escape with their line intact before a flying finish saw them thrash the Warriors. The Warriors made Ashley Graham look like Israel Folau then an amazing try by Farrer and one to Bowen ended the scoring. However, each of these tries became six-pointers thanks to the Feral, whose brilliant goal-kicking in difficult conditions was another highlight.

Players of Maori or Islander descent were a novelty, not four or five to a team.

You remember when there were far fewer contracts but far more loyalty.

You remember when the game’s governing body cared more about people going to games rather than how many of them watch games on TV.

Players were in Tooheys ads, not Gatorade ads.

How the mighty have fallen: once upon a time, Manly against Parramatta was worthy of a beer commercial but was almost always a Channel 9 game in recent years. The slow start for both of these teams saw them relegated to Fox, but for Manly, they might just be in line for more Channel 9 games in coming months.

Why is this? In short, they finally appear to have learnt how to play without Brett Stewart. Their forwards looked angry, which allowed Orford to play at a higher level (admittedly it would have been tough for him to play any worse), while Bailey and Shane Rodney also performed well.

But most importantly was that Michael Robertson seems to have finally figured out how to play as a Brett Stewart clone. He’s not nearly as good as Stewart, but Stewart’s game is not a difficult one for any half-decent player to mimic. However, Manly’s progress will need to be confirmed, as Parramatta was not near their best and lost two players to injury in the first half.

You remember when betting on Rugby League meant trying to make a motza by picking the winners at the TAB, not being bombarded by betting agencies’ ads during games.

You didn’t need to apply for a loan to attend a game complete with food and drinks, or buy some merchandise.

You remember when players wore shoulder pads and loose jerseys.

The SCG was home to ALL the big games.

The final game on Sunday saw Wests Tigers and Souths clash at the SCG. This game probably would have been better off at the SFS, given the major changes at the SCG in recent years and the fact that Wests Tigers didn’t exist in 1969. Nevertheless, it was a fairly entertaining game, as the flamboyant Tigers took on the more traditional Rabbitohs.

For much of the game, it appeared as though Souths’ efforts would count for little. The Tigers’ defence was solid but Souths’ defence mostly failed to prevent several staples of the Tigers’ attacking game. As a result, Robbie Farah had an excellent game…but the Tigers failed to put the game out of reach, despite several excellent opportunities to do so in the game’s final 15 minutes.

This allowed Souths a small hope to come back; this hope was made smaller when their halfback Sandow sustained an injury. But somehow Souths found two converted tries to eliminate the Tigers’ lead. Golden Point looked set to favour the Tigers given greater depth in field goal kicking, but incredibly Souths stole the win in the final seconds before Golden Point after a field goal from…Nathan Merritt?!?!?! Merritt’s long-range wide-out field goal could not have been hit more sweetly. For Souths, another come-from-behind win, but for the Teflon Tigers – who escaped criticism for their attractive but frustrating loss – they really should have won this one.

There were Kangaroo TOURS not just Kangaroo matches.

There were clubs and teams, not brands.

There were jerseys made out of cotton, not thin bits of polyester with colours and sponsors splashed around.

There was Sydney and there was Melbourne, each with their code of football. Melbourne’s only purpose was to host occasional exhibition games.

I guess you could last night’s game in Melbourne was an exhibition game; Canberra was not nearly in the same class as the Storm. Canberra started strongly and looked keen for an upset and a very rare win over Melbourne, but once Melbourne responded, Canberra’s challenge fell to pieces. It took longer than some might have predicted, but it was a very easy win for the Storm.

And so ends the Heritage Roast. Feel free to add your own Heritage memories, otherwise see you next week.

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Round 9: That's Straight Outta The Text-Book!

Round 9 was the first of 7 short rounds (due to representative games) this season. Rugby League is game where the word ‘short’ has a number of uses: just short of the line, short kick, career cut short by injury, attack down the short side, short turnaround (from Monday night), short-priced favourites and, most appropriately this week, short of cash. And that’s without considering the high number of players who are shorter than average or just plain short.

But the newest addition to the ‘short’ lexicon has been short message service, known as SMS or text. Whether it’s Brian Smith’s frequent texting to his players, Greg Bird texting his flatmate on a Sunday morning, the ‘ding, dong, the witch is dead’ text sent around by a Cowbores player after Graham Murray’s contract was not renewed or the abusive text supposedly sent by Lance Thompson to Justin Poore on the morning of their preliminary final loss to the Tigers in 2005, the text message has become significant in the world of rugby league controversy.

Hence, here is the recap of each Round 9 NRL fixture within 160 characters.

“Yeh we lost bro but it didn’t really matter ay, we’re on the rise…and next time, we won’t have Isaac, J Smith n Frankie out either” – Benji Marshall

Another ‘ANZAC’ Test and another fairly comfortable win to Australia, but Benji is (partly) right here. Gone are the days when New Zealand needed reinforcements from England (who were never worth the cost of plane fare anyway); now their team is based entirely in the Southern Hemisphere and new leaders are emerging to take over from Stacey Jones and Cayless.

“Awesome mate. Absorbed their best then carved them up. Showed that knob Ennis who is best. Now just have to beat Parra…and shut that Chard guy up for once” – Robbie Farah

Most experts thought Country looked to have the edge over City in their annual match-up and this seemed the likely outcome in the first half. But City’s defence remained largely solid (despite a significant advantage in possession to Country) and when this advantage was reduced, City – led by Farah, Peter Wallace, Michael Jennings and others – finished extremely strongly.

“Heard the bad news, unlucky boys, even worse your stuck in T-ville. Loving France, these French chicks…they fire up! At 20 to 4, whenever! FIRE UP!” – Mark Gasnier

Alas, Gasnier’s infamous drunken communiqué was not a text but a voice message, but the Dragons would have felt pretty bad after their close loss to the Cowbores. Despite having most of their team either backing up from Friday night (and having to travel far just to get to the game) or carrying an injury, they had a great chance to defeat a fairly poor Cowbores team.

Well…they would have won were it not for Feral Thurston, who once again backed up from a representative game extremely well. He scored 3 tries, each one slicing through the Dragons’ weakened right-side defence and (just) offsetting the dominance the Dragons had every time they attacked the Cowbores’ right-side defence. Brett Morris had 4 tries but amazingly could have had more. The Dragons could have come back from 10 points behind in the final few minutes if Matt Prior could pass (although the huge gap Hornby ran into appeared to come from an obstruction) but it wasn’t to be: a second straight extremely lucky home win for the Cowbores.

“Boys. Just checking you made it home ok. It was a win but can’t be happy, we were lucky. See you at warm down 0700. Text you with dinner instructions soon. Bye” – Brian Smith

Newcastle was a touch lucky to escape with a win over the Gold Coast, but they are likely to get the message (hoho) drilled into them about taking teams lightly (if Smith’s notorious texting habits and school-teacher mentality are true). It appeared as though Newcastle’s defence was going to be the difference; both teams dominated possession early on, but Newcastle put 3 tries on during their turn, while the Titans could only come up with 1. But the Gold Coast responded, came up with important plays when needed and almost stole the game from a lazy/tiring Newcastle team.

The much-discussed refereeing obviously played a role in the result (assuming Prince converted Zillman’s late try) but it was going to be a controversial call whatever decision was made. While Gold Coast coach Cartwright was annoyed by the Prince-Sau outcome, his anger at the refereeing in general was misguided. Chris Walker’s attempt was not a try (the ball touched a Knight foot) while everything else was the result of ill-discipline, not refereeing mistakes.

“Nice one Jamie, just like my Origin effort in ’06. Also heard you said it was a fair try – brilliant. Keep fighting the good fight against video refs buddy. Hogdo” – Brett Hodgson

The second Sunday game saw Manly come back from a 16-0 deficit to defeat an uninspiring Brisbane, but the post-game talk was about Jamie Lyon and his controversial tries. The second of these was fine; he clearly tapped the ball forward to control it (if Jarryd Hayne didn’t breach this rule two weeks ago, this try wouldn’t have been in doubt), however his first try was much worse.

Lyon’s first try saw him chase a kick, play at the ball with his hip/torso then fall on the ball with his hip/torso across the line. There is a rule that the torso can ground the ball for a try, but surely if the torso can ground the ball, the torso can knock it on too yes? There is no “rule” which says a torso can knock the ball on, but the third State of Origin game in 2006 provided a precedent here.

NSW put up a bomb, which Brett Hodgson aimed to catch the ball but lost sight of it. The ball hit off his torso and went forward but was regathered by NSW, who passed it to Eric Grothe for a try. The video referee, citing the ‘can’t knock the ball on with your torso’ rule, awarded a try, which the Tuesday Roast approved of at the time. However, the swift and unanimous denouncing of this decision by the rugby league community meant that any future torso knock-ons would not result in tries…yes? Apparently video referee Paul Simpkins was keen to re-write history, but amazingly no one has mentioned the Hodgson incident in the aftermath of Lyon’s hip/torso knock-on.

“Freddy. Saying O’Meley was accidentally left off sheet and not playing Kouparitsas – brilliant. Nearly as bad as my last days there. All the best mate. Opes.” – Chris Anderson

In last night’s game, Melbourne hardly looked like a team with 8 players backing up from Friday night. This was evident after 15 minutes. The Roosters had almost all the ball and scored a try, but the Storm looked quite untroubled defending them. Initial suspicions about the Roosters were confirmed during the rest of the game. Melbourne scored several soft tries and won comfortably.

How bad are the Roosters going? Aside from their patchy play, inconsistent intensity and high error count, coach Brad Fittler is starting to feel the heat. He left Mark O’Meley out of his team, as many expected, but this makes the explanation from early last week (that O’Meley’s name was left off the team sheet by mistake) look ludicrous. Also, Nick Kouparitsas played his first game for the Roosters last night – but was on for about 3 minutes. This meant the Roosters used one big forward replacement for almost all of the game: every other team uses at least two big forwards.

For the Roosters, this situation is reminiscent of 2007, when the much-loathed Chris Anderson was coach. In his last few games before resigning, he didn’t (forgot to?) play forward Nigel Plum in a game against Newcastle (at Gosford – the same venue as for last night’s game) and the club used another pathetic lie (a press release to announce that Anderson’s frequent turning away in disgust during their 56-0 loss to Manly was actually so he could view a TV replay).

Brad Fittler is far more liked than Anderson and not nearly as decrepit, but he also is not as good a coach as Anderson was (in his Bulldog years) so could be in trouble if results don’t improve. Losing to the Storm is not so bad, but the ease with which Melbourne won had to disturb Fittler.

See you next week.

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Round 8: It's A Deadset Cliche-a-thon!

Round 8 in the NRL and there was a number of great matches as players jockeyed for position prior to rep selection on Sunday night. Most of the usual suspects gained selection as the selectors were loyal to those who had been there before but this didn’t stop a number of up-and-comers from giving their all over the weekend.

The round kicked off on Friday night on the northern beaches and Brookie Oval, where the grand final rematch saw Manly host the Storm. Melbourne said they weren’t looking for revenge, but you just knew a team like the Storm would be on a mission for this game, as shown when Dallas Johnson put Inglis into a yawning gap in Manly’s defence to open proceedings.

Manly responded when their custodian Robertson crashed over, but Melbourne took charge for the remainder of the half and opened up a match-winning lead. First, Turner went over for a rather soft try before the old firm of Smith and Slater went to work. Smith’s chip for Slater found the weak spot in Manly’s defence and the next play saw Matt Cross attack a backpedalling defence to make it 16-4 at the oranges.

Try as they might, Manly rarely threatened the Storm’s line after this. More Slater brilliance extended Melbourne’s edge but while the Wolfman went over soon after, that was the end of the scoring for the night. A fairly easy win to the Storm, but for Manly, questions over their attack without Brookie’s favourite son Brett Stewart will persist.

Meanwhile in Sydney’s golden west, Parramatta was carving up North Queensland. The Cowbores were extremely slow out of the blocks and an enthusiastic Parra was up 14-blot inside 12 minutes. Parra rested on their laurels somewhat for the rest of the half but the Cowbores couldn’t find any answers and failed to cash in on some good attacking ball.

The opening 10 of the second half saw Parra once again look sharp. It was Burt who flew down the sideline, but the kick from Jarryd Hayne which set it up. Hayne looked ominous after returning to his preferred position of fullback, putting in a man-of-the-match effort.

The Cowbores finally woke up in the final half-hour and posted three tries but it was too little too late and a drought-breaking win for the Eels and their small but boisterous home crowd.

The first of four games on Saturday once again saw Saturday afternoon rugby league come to the fore as the Titans welcomed the Bunnies to town. The Titans love playing at home, at their “fortress”, but looks can be deceiving as this game was less than five days after their last game (last Monday at Penrith). On the other hand, Souths’ last game was three days earlier. The rather warm and humid conditions on the Coast were a potential recipe for disaster for the home team.

This initial prognosis was confirmed during the first half as Souths made life tough for the Gold Coast. The pocket dynamo Preston Campbell opened proceedings, but Souths struck back and while not converting much of their dominance into points on the scoreboard, they threatened to drain the Titans of much of their energy. Souths led by 2 at oranges.

The second half saw renewed effort from the Titans but Souths would not back down and a classical battle ensued. Gold Coast had the lion’s share of the ball for much of the half but Souths’ defence held firm time and time again. Finally, Gold Coast pierced Souths’ defences but the Rabbitohs responded almost instantly via the hard-running Luke Stuart.

It appeared as though Souths would hold on for a courageous win against the odds (as well as some dubious refereeing decisions) but Gold Coast re-took the lead through Mat Rogers, were lucky that a late Rabbitohs attacking raid did not result in points before Laffranchi put the icing on the cake with a try in the dying seconds.

The second game on Saturday saw the Roosters travel to the Shire to take on the Sharks. The Gould-Stuart wars threatened to detract attention from this game where both teams were desperate for the two competition points, but actually, this game was in dire need of some excitement, because neither team provided much of it.

However, both teams showed glimpses of excitement in the early going but simple errors meant these opportunities were lost. It was the Roosters who were first to settle down and play some football and they put the first two tries on the board via long-striding Kiwi Shaun Kenny-Dowall. Cronulla responded with a welcome intrusion from the large goalpost pads. The rebound off these gave Cronulla a try and they trailed by just four points.

While the gap between the teams was just four points, the Roosters always looked in control and re-established their dominance early in the second half but through the unlikeliest of sources: Origin prop Nate Myles placed a delicate kick to the corner, brutally exposing Luke Covell’s Queen Mary-like turning circle and beautifully setting up Sam Perrett for a try.

At 18-6, the game was not over but it really should have been as the Roosters were by far the better team and had a number of fair tries denied by the officials. The last of these looks set to cost Freddy Fittler $10,000, but the failure of the Roosters to put Cronulla away allowed Cronulla to hang around and threaten a late comeback.

The last 10 minutes tested the nerves of the Roosters after Paul Gallen barged over but Cronulla never really looked like scoring again and a smartly taken field goal by Anasta sealed the victory for the Bondi Junction outfit.

Next up, the high-flying Broncos travelled to the Hunter to take on Newcastle. Newcastle stole defeat from the jaws of victory last week against the Tigers but they breed ‘em tough in Newcastle: coal miners, steel workers and the like. And Brian Smith loves nothing more than to beat the Broncos.

But Brisbane started strongly and when big Izzy soared above the pack to score Brisbane’s first, it looked to be business as usual. However, Newcastle slowly wrested control of the game away from Brisbane and it soon became evident that they were keener for a fight than their northern neighbours. Mad Dog MacDougall and Mullen gave Newcastle the lead before the storms moved in and Brisbane’s reluctance to get into a dogfight was exposed.

Brisbane’s hole became even deeper after Karmichael Hunt’s poorly executed grubber allowed Uate a saloon passage to a try and Newcastle an 18-6 half-time lead. Brisbane looked so disinterested that their best hope was probably for the game to be abandoned after a huge bolt of lightning knocked out half the lights at Energy Australia Stadium.

Alas, the game resumed – about half an hour later than normal – and Newcastle out-enthused Brisbane to a comprehensive 28-12 win.

The final game on Saturday saw the Mountain Men of Penrith travel to the Nation’s Capital to take on Canberra (dammit, couldn’t get foot of the Mountains in there somewhere). The signing of Luke Walsh was suggested by some to be the final piece of the puzzle for Penrith, but Canberra figured to be hungry for the two competition points with their lowly ladder position and a tough loss to the Bulldogs last week.

Penrith held a narrow lead as the second half wore on (thanks in part to an amazing sidestep by Michael Jennings) but Canberra almost set up camp near Penrith’s line and you felt a typical Canberra home win against the odds was coming up. Canberra finally cracked Penrith’s defences as Carney came down with the ball after a Campese kick and young Dugan had a chance to tie the game up.

Alas, Dugan missed the goal, Canberra turned the ball over after the Panthers lived up to their name in defence and the win was sealed by two of Penrith’s veritable treasure trove of young up-and-comers, Jarrod Sammut and Geoff Daniela.

Sunday’s first game saw the Warriors cross the Tasman to take on the Dragons in Wollongong. WIN Stadium has not proved to be a happy hunting ground for the Warriors, having only won there once and never against the Dragons, but they were out to make history on Sunday afternoon.

The Dragons started strongly but it soon became clear not only were a few Dragons suffering with injury but some carried injuries into the game. As a result, the Dragons’ flame was in danger of being extinguished. A somewhat lucky rebound of a Soward kick was nearly returned all the way by Mannering, but some smart work by the Warriors saw Ah Van crash over in the corner. A sneaky field goal by Stacey Jones gave the Warriors a 7-2 lead at halftime.

The Dragons had to fight off the tough Warriors but also the persistent injury bug if they were going to get the cash in this game. Sailor battled through pain, as did Cooper and Saffy but the Dragons had to make do without key back-rower Jeremy Smith. Much like the Titans, the Dragons struggled to put points on against a committed opponent and when they finally did trouble the scorer, they conceded points again almost instantly (thanks to Jerome Ropati).

But the Dragons persisted with their left-side attack and were ultimately rewarded when Ben Creagh crashed over. The conversion by Soward gave the Dragons a slender one-point lead and despite some nervous moments as the Warriors threatened to play golden point for the third successive match, the Dragons held on for the hard-earned win.

The final game of the round saw the Bulldogs and Tigers square off but what appeared to be a mouth-watering match-up was soured somewhat as the Tigers lost Benji Marshall to the flu in the hours leading up to the game.

This appeared to tip the ledger in favour of the Bulldogs and they were first to score through El Masri, but the dogged Tigers hung tough. Robbie Farah was on a one-man mission without his regular partner-in-crime and had a hand in all of the Tigers’ attacking plays but the Bulldogs were always one step ahead for much of the afternoon.

When dynamic centre Chris Lawrence succumbed to an ankle injury, the Tigers’ backline was unfamiliar to all but diehard Tigers supporters, but it was in the forwards where the Tigers lost the battle. Some smart work put General Patten through a gap before Michael Ennis set up Goodwin with a deft grubber kick on the next play. El Masri’s sideline conversion gave the Bulldogs a six-point lead with only minutes remaining.

Despite some Bulldogs errors and Farah responding in the battle for the Origin hooker spot setting up another try for Ryan, a crucial missed conversion by Gallant and the veteran savvy of the Bulldogs in winding down the clock saw them hold on for a two-point win. While the Bulldogs may not have many star players, their ability to grind out wins week after week certainly stands them in good stead come finals time. They look a lot like a champion team and not a team of champions – a stark contrast to the collection of egos at Belmore in recent seasons.

And with that fine collection of clichés, so ends this week’s Roast. I look forward to your company next week.

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Round 7: Extra! Extra! Headline Edition

After once being mere observers, the media is now a pivotal figure in today’s game. The media’s influence on Rugby League comes in many forms, including various issues with the scheduling of matches, constant highlighting of negative off-field incidents, petty squabbles between journalists and ex-players or coaches taking up far too much column space and, of course, that a major media organisation owns half of the NRL.

As a tribute to the various forms of media who cover (and create…?) all NRL happenings, the Round 7 recaps will be accompanied by newspaper headlines.

Parra tried hard to matta, but Brisbane continued in their Hunt for success

How the mighty have fallen: this fixture was once one of the highlights of the season, no matter how each team was travelling. How grim were Parramatta’s chances? This game was relegated behind what looked like being an extremely boring game (Souths v. Cronulla) and Ray Warren had such little faith in his team getting up he chose to commentate aforementioned potentially very boring game over commentating his beloved Eels.

While Parramatta did show signs of pride, effort and their true ability for periods of this game, they failed to take many of their chances and when their effort dropped off, Brisbane was more than happy to use this time put points on the board. Led by Karmichael Hunt, Brisbane was far too good, but their display should not be written off as a much too easy win against a struggling team. Since losing to St George Illawarra a few weeks ago, Brisbane had struggled for consistency against some of the NRL’s weaker teams, so this thrashing of a weakened Parramatta was welcome.

Speaking of media and headlines though, it appears Parramatta will soon be without Brian Smith and Denis Fitzgerald. Luckily for the Telegraph, new coach Daniel Anderson has rubbed them the wrong way in the early period of his tenure and seems certain to inherit the status as Parramatta’s whipping boy in the Murdoch Rag.

A Gallen effort by Cronulla, but Rabbitohs hold on to send Cronulla’s season further South

In contrast to Brisbane versus Parramatta at Suncorp – a traditionally exciting fixture which failed to deliver – Souths versus Cronulla at ANZ have seen two lifeless affairs, but this time a fast free-flowing game was seen. This was the result of two somewhat dysfunctional teams matching up. Both teams were desperate to win and put a lot of effort into scoring points but both were relatively unconcerned about defence.

Cronulla started strongly but failed to put any points on; when Souths finally saw some good ball, they easily put on several tries. As Cronulla have several times under Ricky Stuart, when they fall behind early and hence need to score plenty of points, their dormant attacking game comes to life. They almost reeled Souths’ large lead in but then let Souths through for some easy tries after half time.

Souths obviously thought a 16-point lead against Cronulla was more than enough and mentally clocked off for the night but Cronulla had other ideas and responded with a combination of well-run attack and some rarely-seen improvisation. The result was two tries, a third try not taken after an inexplicable dropped ball by David Simmons and a Souths team which couldn’t wait for full-time to arrive to secure a tougher-than-necessary win.

Cronulla was well led by Paul Gallen, who returned from a two-game suspension extremely eager to help his team to a rare win, but appears to be set for yet another sideline stint after a quite bad tackle on Craig Wing. Throw in another charge for Greg Bird while he’s back in Oz: making Gallen feel he has to do too much every game for Cronulla to get a win.

Roosters Soward by ANZAC experience, but Sgt Bennett says his weapon not ready for bigger battles

The annual ANZAC Day clash between the Dragons and Roosters has become one of the more anticipated clashes of the season, with a major reason being that whichever team is not in the best of form often lifts significantly to make it a memorable game. However, on further inspection, Dragons-Roosters matches in recent years favour the team who gets off to a good start, largely due to both teams being quite similar in makeup and in how they play.

A lucky bounce, a broken Roosters defensive line and some blistering Soward speed saw the Dragons jump to an early 6-nil lead. The game was basically over at that point. The Roosters tried hard but never seriously threatened to score and the Dragons carried on from their fast start.

This momentum never manifested itself in threatening attacking structure, but it didn’t really matter: Soward took more chances to push the lead to 11 then increased Roosters’ effort was repelled and returned with interest by the Dragons’ speed: Soward, Morris and Nightingale cashed in on great defence and some sloppy Roosters kick-chase to make the final score 29-nil.

And just in case the somewhat shy Soward felt like feeling too good about his effort, Wayne Bennett killed off any enthusiasm by rightly saying Soward was not ready for State of Origin. Bennett’s comments may have been partly motivated by the fact that the Dragons will have a number of Origin players already, but there is little doubt he knows the best way to get his players to keep performing. The commonly held view of some time back that he rode the coattails of some great Broncos teams is becoming more and more untrue as each day passes.

Firing of blanks in ANZAC field goal shootout left Victorians Cross

The “true” ANZAC Day match (pfft) in Melbourne looked to be an intriguing affair. Melbourne are obviously far from what they were in 2008, but when they turn up with requisite intensity, they are still a tough opponent at Olympic Park. But the Warriors are as close to Melbourne’s bogey team as there is in the NRL: could the Warriors win again at Olympic Park despite this not being the challenge it once was?

Melbourne looked a far better team than the pathetic outfit which was seen last Monday night. Part of this was due to the return of Brett White (from injury) and the first game of Brett Finch.

But while the Warriors fell behind, they were never out of the game, especially when they got the ball down their left hand side to Vatuvei against the overmatched Steve Turner.

The effects of a short turnaround after Monday night and the loss of two players to injury gradually sapped the Storm of energy as this game went on and New Zealand sensed their chance. As the game neared 80 minutes and the tied scoreline persisted, the field goal shootout began, but the wet and windy conditions – as well as poor execution – meant Golden Point.

Melbourne’s tiredness was increasing and a number of poor decisions and mistakes meant the Warriors had the best chances to win. Incredibly, Stacey Jones missed a simple field goal and botched another good chance and the game ended in a draw.

However, the “excitement” of Golden Point was once again ruined by the officials. There was the usual reluctance to get involved (no penalty against Melbourne when the final pass to Jones was affected by defenders lying in the ruck) but then far too much involvement. Did Jones dropping the ball really require video referee intervention? It was a farcical end to a good game. For the millionth time: golden try is the solution.

Cowboys back in the saddle, but Manly was all too impotent once again

The final game on Saturday night presented Manly with a wonderful opportunity to silence their critics. Had their game improved enough in the last few weeks to get a win against the struggling Cowbores without the most potent fullback in the game (a terrible pun, I know) Brett Stewart?

In hindsight, the answer to this question was Yes, but somehow Manly failed to convert a number of excellent try-scoring opportunities early in the second half. Of course we’ll never know what would have happened if Manly took the lead during this time, but their momentum looked such that a win was very possible from there.

For Manly, that they actually created all these opportunities without Stewart has to give them hope (although Robertson once again proved how poor he is at getting involved in attack from the fullback position), but…how the likes of Lyon, Matai and Stewart (Glenn) screwed up very good chances cannot be explained here.

The Cowbores did make some improbable defensive plays to hold the lead, but there is little doubt luck was on their side. When Manly fell for Feral Thurston’s dummy with 15 minutes remaining, Manly had every right to drop their heads.

In all, despite the continued questioning of Manly’s ex-Stewart ability, this was a rare game where both teams took something from it. The Cowbores showed some heart and determination whilst under attack and this was Manly’s best ex-Stewart game so far this season – by far.

Bulldogs’ ex-Qld talent creates enough warmth in icy Canberra; this BrisConnection a great investment!

You know winter is rapidly approaching when a game at Bruce Stadium contains crowd members dressed as though they just got back from the South Pole. The tough conditions and a lowly Canberra team desperate for two points threatened to make this a very tough game for the Bulldogs on Sunday.

The Bulldogs started slowly, but most importantly, gave up a number of penalties which gave Canberra good momentum and resulted in three early tries. The much-hyped Terry Campese had a foot injury and a virus but this didn’t stop him again from setting up one try and almost setting up another.

This disallowed Canberra try (where a knock-on – eventually – was correctly ruled) came just before the Bulldogs’ comeback. While Brett Kimmorley guided the Bulldogs around the park well, it was former Broncos Ennis, Hannant and Stagg who worked together and created a number of holes in Canberra’s defence, both up the middle and on the edges. By halftime, the Bulldogs incredibly had the lead, despite Canberra having the better of the half overall.

The second half was tighter than the first, but the Bulldogs gradually got the better of the game. A fairly soft try to Ennis gave the Bulldogs an eight-point lead, but Canberra’s inspirational leader Alan Tongue shrugged off a number of tackles to give his team hope. However, the experienced Bulldogs steadied up to get the win, sealed by more involvement from Ennis and an El Masri try.

Sadly, for those looking forward to a battle of the titans, it looks as though Ennis may be suspended for the Bulldogs next match against the Tigers and Robbie Farah, but as much as some may hate the Bulldogs (and Ennis), it is hard not to like their style of play at present.

Benji Marshalls Tigers to amazing win, while Newcastle is Mullen over what might’ve been

The game of the round was seen on Sunday when the Tigers hosted Newcastle. While the Tigers had given a promising effort – although the quality of their play was shabby at best – in defeating Melbourne last Monday, Newcastle was in the midst of a solid run of form after a slow start to the season, culminating with an excellent win over the Dragons.

A win for the Tigers looked to be a tough ask. They were coming off a Monday night game, consistency has rarely been amongst their main qualities for several years, they were without one of the key forwards (Heighington) and were facing a tough opponent. But you wouldn’t have known the Tigers were facing such obstacles in the early play; their size and intensity surprised and bothered Newcastle and the Tigers took an early lead.

But Newcastle came back. They had a touch of luck receiving a good run of penalties and with some chancy kicks coming off spectacularly, but they thoroughly deserved their 24-10 lead after an hour of the game. A Newcastle win looked certain.

Somehow, the Tigers lifted. Perhaps sensing Newcastle was vulnerable (they had several injuries; this was probably why they over-celebrated Mullen’s try, they thought it was enough to hold on for the win) and feeding off those rare few minutes every few months when Benji Marshall’s performance comes anywhere near his hype, the Tigers put significant pressure on the tiring Knights. A wildly side-stepping Benji set up Beau Ryan, but Newcastle’s lead was still 8 approaching ten minutes until full time.

Then the Tigers lifted again and, with some very useful assistance from the officials, completed an amazing comeback win.

How helpful were they? Collis’ second try (to cut the deficit to 4) came after Ryan interfered with Naiqama’s attempt to catch Marshall’s cross-kick. Collis’ third try came after a dubious penalty for stripping the ball against Macmanus (he merely released his arm and Tuiaki let the ball go). After Newcastle fell behind, Dureau, in attempting a bomb, was tackled after he kicked the ball and in mid-air. This was a penalty EVERY time in previous weeks and despite this happening centimetres in front of the pocket referee, there was no penalty (5 metres out, in front of the posts, which would have tied the game) for Newcastle.

Then, in the game’s final minute, as Newcastle frantically kept the ball alive in search of a late winner, Fa’aoso’s long pass (which put his team into space) was called forward. It went half a metre BACKWARDS (but looked forward due to Fa’aoso stepping back after the pass).

There is no doubt for the Tigers to even put themselves in a position where the officials could get them over the line is a significant accomplishment, and that Newcastle have every right to be disappointed in themselves for letting the Tigers get close enough. But there is also no doubt Newcastle was robbed of victory in this game.

Penrith half a chance of success with their new good Luke charm

The final game of the round saw the high-flying Gold Coast travel to Penrith. It has been a very good month for the Panthers, but a loss in this game would have seen them receive precious little reward for their, at times, excellent play.

Despite the Gold Coast looking quite threatening with the ball, both near Penrith’s line and elsewhere and making a comeback early in the 2nd half, Penrith scored a quite comfortable 14 point win. The Gold Coast certainly helped Penrith out with a number of errors and the absence of Bailey and Rogers, but Penrith’s cause was massively helped by first-gamer Luke Walsh.

The former Newcastle halfback was extremely highly rated in his rookie year of 2007, but a number of injuries and some stiff competition in the halves ranks at the Knights meant Walsh had to move elsewhere to increase his chances of a starting spot. Penrith look to be the perfect fit for him: a team with much talent but little in the area of structure and on-field organisation. If Walsh can stay fit, then the likes of Lewis, Graham and Sammut can focus on their areas of expertise, instead of trying to be playmakers and Penrith just might have a very good season.

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Round 6 - A Gathering of the Minds Part II: The Best Revenge Is Taking It One Game at a Time

Welcome to the Tuesday Roast for Round 6 of the NRL season. Despite such promise, the Gathering of the Minds following Round 3 descended into farce: a mix of bias, cliché, incoherence and bad jokes. And that was just from Mark Geyer.

So, the Minds have been invited back for another chance, but with one condition: it was to be an entirely new group of Minds breaking down the weekend’s events. The new crew are fired up to make amends and seek revenge on behalf of their brethren, so without further ado, let’s go to Peter Sterling in the Tuesday Roast offices.

Peter Sterling: Thank you and welcome to this week’s Tuesday Roast. Just wanted to say how highly I rate this work; it’s an essential part of my post-mortem on each round’s action…although you’re not running a little short of ideas are you? Nah, just kidding, love your work each week.

Anyway, on to the Round 6 action and after the rather unpredictable start to the season, things seem to have settled down somewhat and the natural order of the game looks to have just about been restored. One factor here is the jockeying for position with regards to rep team selection, but the impacts of each team gaining invaluable match fitness and some cooler weather are also important in some more predictable results taking place.

One of those teams which threatened to turn prognosticators’ pre-season predictions on their heads was Penrith, who hosted the somewhat-struggling Brisbane on Friday night. Greg “Brandy” Alexander, you were at this game, give us your thoughts.

Greg Alexander: Well Sterlo, many people gave Penrith a chance in this game after their quite impressive last month, but I was never too sure. Big Petero always plays well, but after that, you never quite know what you’re going to get. Any number of guys could have big games but it’s not usually the same from one week to the next.

So I was not really surprised when we went behind 24-6 in the first half. We were a touch unlucky at times (especially Brisbane’s first try – the burden of proof on the attacking team gets slimmer every year) but really, Brisbane is a polished unit. Their recruitment has been excellent (sob…but at least they took that loser Clinton off our hands) and their player development continues to be amongst the upper echelon in the game.

But we often seem to produce our best when our backs are against the wall and so it was in this game. Petero and Mick Jennings helped cut Brisbane’s lead to 6, but I still thought we couldn’t rely totally on Petero and our speed, we needed some halfback guidance. Brisbane ended up running away with it, even though we gave them a bit of a shock, I reckon they knew what they were doing all along.

In other words, I tried putting the moz on whoever Penrith’s opponents as I always do, but it didn’t work this time.

PS: Tough luck for the Panthers, but a word of advice Brandy: if you can ensure an ex-player can take over in charge of your club, stay there for about 30 years and annoy virtually everyone, then you won’t have to worry about any lingering feelings towards your old club. I know I don’t.

Anyway, the other Friday night game saw the high-flying Titans host the improving Canberra Raiders. Ben Ikin was there.

Ben Ikin: Thanks Sterlo, well it was a close call but the Titans got the win here with a last-minute try by Matty Rogers. It was set up by that legend of the game Scotty Prince from Mt Isa, who faked the field-goal attempt and perfectly set up Rogers.

But they weren’t the only stars for the Gold Coast. Chris Walker starred again on the wing, while Nathan Friend again made the Titans look like gooses for looking for another dummy half for so long. Ash Harrison, the former Bronco, was solid, while new Titan Will Zillman, back in SEQ after a few years somewhere else was one of the try-scorers and also pretty solid.

For Canberra, ummm Learoyd-Lahrs….no wait, he just played for Brisbane, he’s not actually a Queenslander…Logan? Ok, yep well he went great, the Brisbane product! How could I forget Shillington, the man mountain and 18th man from last year’s Queensland team!! That’s about all I think.

PS: Cheers Ben, cheque’s in the mail.

BI: The postcode better start with a 4 then! Queenslander!!!

PS: Um sure. But there’s hope for you yet: if your father-in-law can get out of Brisbane, then anything’s possible. Speaking of St. Benny, his St. George Illawarra Dragons hosted the improving Newcastle on Saturday night…..

Wendell: …and I put one-two tries on yo’ a$$!

MacDougall: But I got the win! Hello McFly! *Types numbers into phone and throws it away*

Wendell: Hahaha you goose! Get back to me when you beat me when I’m not injured!

MacDougall: Not sure I’m gonna play til I’m 100. Hey Thighs, how good was Uncle Doogs hey? Yeh you know it….

PS: …and we’ll leave it there and throw to our correspondent from this game, ABC’s David Morrow.

David Morrow: Thank you Peter, as the head of ABC Radio Sport, I am assigned to all the big games and by sheer coincidence, every big game contains St George. I mean, what are the odds of that?!

Anyway, the Dragons got off to a great start and looked to dominate as they have thus far this season and got off to an early lead, but the signs started mounting from midway through the first half that this is the still same old Dragons team and OH NO! What a terrible mistake by Ryles! Sorry, old habits die hard, but the Dragons took a solid lead to half time, but it all unravelled from there. STANLEY – what a dumb play! Dan Hunt with another poor mistake…wait, they are still here. Hmm…probably why the Dragons lost.

But it would be unfair not to recognise Newcastle’s great play. De Gois, Mullen and even Rogers again. Geez, he played two good games here and he’s played 3 good games already for Newcastle! Calm down, David, have faith in St. Benny….is this thing still on?! Back to you Sterlo.

PS: Straight from the Ray Warren school of objectivity there. Next up on Saturday night was Souths v Manly and Mario Fenech was at the game.

Mario Fenech: Thanks Sterlo, well….

PS: Mario Fenech with that report.

MF: Oh cmon guys!

PS: Ok, ok, have another crack Mario.

MF: Ok, well Souths found it backing up from and especially after they try chances. Manly was still and Stewart capitalised struggling pretty much from .

PS: Problem with your mic there Mario? *giggles*

MF: That’s it, I’ve had it , you can all go and get !

Benny Elias: Sorry Mario mate, missed that last thing you said.

PS: Now, now Benny, wait your turn, we like pretend conflict not actual stuff! Anyway, what Mario was trying to say was that Souths really struggled, not just coming off the short week, but, like every team in the NRL does, playing at a consistent level for more than a few weeks with a few injuries. Manly was good but….not that great, but they didn’t need to be.

Onto Sunday’s action and firstly from Auckland, where New Zealand hosted the Roosters, it’s New Zealand’s “favourite son” Gary Freeman.

Gary Freeman: Cheers Sterlo and it was a great game over here today. With Steve Price, Vatuvei and late addition Lance Hohaia back, the Warriors looked like good things to return to the winners list, but after a tight start, the Chooks dominated the first half.

You thought they had the game locked up but my man Stacey Jones got the Warriors back in it with a runaround try then his kicking game set up two more tries. The Roosters had every right though to be FILTHY at the final result, some dodgy penalties for the Warriors and the try to Vatuvei…no way that was a try.

Anyway, Kemp’s penalty took it to extra time and that man Jones sealed the win. Choice bro!

PS: Choice indeed. Not bad for you Wizard, so it’s not true that when you go back to New Zealand from Oz every summer that you raise the IQ of both countries?

GF: Nah, it’s more humid over here actually.

PS: Thought so. Anyway, Cronulla and the Cowboys. From Adelaide. What. A. Contest. Somehow they found eight and a half thousand people to attend this game, but I tell you what: given the rank form of these two teams, it wasn’t such a bad game. Cronulla again looked pretty good for a while but just couldn’t put enough points on. Story of their season so far. Once the Cowboys got a few tries, their confidence finally kicked into gear: it only took 5 games and 70 minutes. Still a looooong way to go for these two sides.

The final Sunday game saw Parramatta “host” the Bulldogs. Yep, this was at the Bulldogs’ home ground. Another great move there, Fitzy. Anyway, Steve Mortimer saw this one, Turvey, what did you think?

Steve Mortimer: Well as proud as I am to have my nephew almost at first grade for Parramatta, and even though the Dogs punted me from the club a few years back, I still love the Dogs and was so happy for them in this game. Parramatta had 3 days extra rest and threatened to really trouble the Dogs at various stages but the Dogs found some more energy and scored enough points to break the fragile Eels (although I don’t quite know how something without bones can be fragile hehehe). Anyway, the likes of Kimmorley, Patten, Ennis and Hannant were stars for the Bulldogs, but I do feel sorry for Parramatta, the likes of Cayless, Burt and Geoff Robinson the half back.

PS: Robson, his name is Robson. Geoff Robinson was the maniac who was your team-mate remember?

SM: Oh sorry about that, guess I got a bit confused hey? He he he.

PS: Thanks Turvey, look, mate you’re a nice guy but geez you laugh at the weirdest moments.

SM: Yeh, me and Ian Chappell, we’ll go for a beer and a laugh and reminisce about good old days and great old jokes.

PS: Why am I not surprised? Anyway the final game of the round saw Melbourne head to Leichhardt to take on the Wests Tigers. It looked to be an intriguing clash: a potentially very good attack against a potentially very good defence. Or, to put it less politely, an inconsistent rabble who put in effort and play to their potential about once a month against a shell of a great team who might as well be put out and shot but can snag a win every now and then.

Anyway, what better person to cover perhaps the worst NRL game in five years than the person with the worst command of the English language: take it away Benny! Thanks for reading, regular Tuesday Roast service will resume next week.

BE: Thanks Sterlo and may I say what a marvellous job the audio guys with Mario the Moron’s microphone! Anyway, tonight at Leichhardt…what a marvellous arena it is. It truly is the field of dreams, although they already did build it a while back so not really, but every time I go there you know the memories they come flooding back like the back of my hand and I know every blade of grass like an old pair of slippers and the Tigers looked pretty comfortable tonight disposing of the Storm. Actually, they were pretty poor really but you know what I mean.

It was a pretty soft try first up for Melbourne when Inglis stepped around Collis and set up Hoffman but the Tigers came right back when Farah set up Moltzen. The Tigers ran like the wind at their backs, not like the Storm that was looming against the Storm and Laurie Lawrence (minus the Laurie…I don’t know why he’s not playing) strolled over past the Storm’s suspect left-side defence and we led by 4.

I guess the wind out of their bum distracted them from the wind at their backs or maybe the wind off out of their hot air mouths got in the way, whatever it was, the Tigers just didn’t take advantage of the wind. I didn’t think 4 points would be enough with the likes of English, the Cronk Brothers and Michael Slater up amongst us with the wind in a minus direction, but it turned around a bit. The game and the wind I mean, but the Storm came and went. The team I mean oh and the actual weather thing.

Seriously though mate, the Storm played pretty dumb. The older of the Cronk brothers, Cooper, is usually a pretty good organiser but today he couldn’t organise a p1ssup or a bum-kicking contest in a brothel! Dead set! I reckon they were a bit unlucky when they had a try stopped for a forward pass but I guess the wind took it although not the wind at their back if you know what I mean.

But the Tigers should have done way more too. Josh Morris, I can’t believe Sheensy still picks him in the halves, dead set, he butchered a try when Anthony Quinn the actor intercepted it, but Quinn couldn’t find Jon English for the runaway try with the wind.

Finally, the Tigers wrapped up the seal and the win when a nice scrum play sent Laurie Lawrence away for a try. Not sure if they would have beaten anyone else but you know you can only have to beat the teams one at a time so I was pretty happy! Thanks Les see you next week on World Sports.

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